Embarrassing, Poopoo peepee, Clumsy and Miscellaneous: Keep it down

Keep it down

By Andy - 13/05/2012 02:21 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I attended a formal banquet. The host was delivering a speech, when I felt the urge to pee, so I tried to quietly excuse myself. My chair screeched over the floor as I got up, I tripped over my own feet, and I accidentally took the door leading outdoors, where I ended up peeing in shame. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 504

You deserved it 4 371

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Same thing different taste

You OK in there?

By stinkypants - 10/11/2011 03:15 - India

Today, I went to a dinner party. I had a bad stomach, so I made a dash to the bathroom and forgot to lock the door. While I was in, I heard some voices outside. In a panic, my reflex was to get up and lock the door. I did so, while simultaneously shitting all over myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 788

You deserved it 11 865

By Pisspants - 17/09/2016 04:39 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I was at work and I needed to pee. In my haste, I forgot to lock the door. A coworker walked in on me and I bolted up mid-stream to slam the door back shut. I had pee down my leg and pee squishing in my shoes for the rest of the day. I can still remember his tone of voice, yelling, "Sorry"! FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 144

You deserved it 2 839

AKA taking a screenshot

By Anonymous - 05/10/2020 11:02 - United States - White Plains

Today, I was holding in pee because i was so busy at work. When I finally got up to relieve myself, I pulled down my pants, sneezed at that exact moment and peed all over the bathroom floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 109

You deserved it 395

By Peepants - 03/03/2016 23:03 - United States - Huntsville

Today, I really had to pee during one of my college lectures. I finally worked up the nerve to leave the room while he was lecturing, and ran frantically to the bathroom. Once in there, the urge intensified to the point I couldn't hold it. I peed my pants while standing in the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 077

You deserved it 4 729

By pissingcontest - 30/05/2009 00:10 - United States

Today, I had to take a serious piss. I started urinating and leaned back slightly on my heels. Somehow I lost my balance and fell backward, hitting my head on the wall behind me and spraying myself and my entire bathroom with my own pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 649

You deserved it 46 029

By sarahrachel - 15/12/2015 03:30 - United States - Albuquerque

Today, while in the airport waiting to board, I got the sudden urge to pee, so I ran to the bathroom feeling like my bladder was about to burst. I was so focused on relieving my bladder that I failed to notice the diarrhea covering the toilet seat and the wall behind it until I was sitting in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 039

You deserved it 5 053

How smelly is your piss?

By Anonymous - 08/04/2021 21:00 - Finland

Today, I peed myself in the dressing room after work when I sneezed. Someone else just walked in as I was trying to dry off my jeans with paper, and probably smelled that I had peed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 812

You deserved it 154

By Blie - 04/09/2018 20:30

Today, I was so drunk that I pissed myself in a hotel hallway while wearing a dress. My shoes squished all the way back to the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 051

You deserved it 4 193

By Anonymous - 11/07/2010 18:18 - United States

Today, I was at the movies with my boyfriend when I really had to pee. I tried to get out of the aisle in a hurry so I wouldn't disturb anyone when I tripped, landing on the people in the row in front of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 735

You deserved it 5 470

Fast and Furious

By TooQuick - 27/04/2016 12:19 - Mozambique - Maputo

Today, after a 2-hour meeting, I rushed to take an urgent dump. Unbeknownst to me, my urine was not hitting the porcelain bowl, but rather the underside of the lid. As it pooled around the pedestal, it soaked my pants, underwear, and when I stood up to button my pants, it got on my shirt too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 028

You deserved it 2 795

XHerobrineX 4

Sunday 13 May 2012 5:31

..... It couldn't have gotten any worse :)

ConnorBrown36 5

Sunday 13 May 2012 5:33

That would really piss me off

Comments

vanillacocoa 6

Sunday 13 May 2012 21:52

You poor soul :(( but I have to admit it made me laugh reading this

ruskiprincesa 0

Sunday 13 May 2012 21:53

Poor u:/

OhimWilliam 1

Monday 14 May 2012 4:47

Well with all that went wrong there... Mine aswell have just pissed yourself in your seat...

PRpandaz 6

Monday 14 May 2012 4:55

There's a lot of FMLs on peeing today.

vkc2 9

Tuesday 15 May 2012 3:54

Yeah if you pay attention a lot of days the fmls are really similar..b/c some ppl get inspiration for an fml off other ppls..lots of liars :)

janerose21 3

Monday 14 May 2012 15:04

wow what a hott mess !!

wowthatissad 9

Wednesday 16 May 2012 22:47

If you came for a pee joke, URINE luck

army_of_misfits 10

Monday 6 May 2013 20:54

At least you didn't pee in your seat.

AcidicNerdyChick 6

Friday 11 July 2014 9:36

Say you were frantic to get out because you felt sick and didn't want to puke in front of everyone

Keywords

Miscellaneous Relatable Embarrassing Awkward Health Love Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Work Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts Fight Neighbours Cops Drugs Medication Dogs Animals Teenagers Ironic

The Top

Today, I have a skin disease that causes my arms and legs to have small, but noticeable, red bumps on them. Trying to stay confident, I put on a swimsuit and went to the pool, only to be bumped into by a cute guy, who then asked why my arms were so "bumpy and disgusting." FML

I agree, your life sucks 920

You deserved it 109

Today, it's been two months since I broke up with my boyfriend. He's been texting me every time he found a bobby pin at his house that belonged to me, saying we should both see it as a sign of us belonging together. If he keeps this up every time he finds one, the texts will probably never stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 096

You deserved it 880

The Top

Today, I had a job interview. I thought it was going pretty well, until I got the hiccups. The interviewer immediately said, "Yeah, I think we’re done here," and sent me away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 082

You deserved it 84

Today, after being tired of my husband acting like I’m invisible, giving more attention and affection to the dog than to me, and me going to spend a few nights at my sister’s house, he texted me, "You coming home to make dinner or what?" on the second day. It's now day 4 and he hasn’t said anything else since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 118

You deserved it 329

Today, I babysat an 11 year old kid while his parents ate out. As soon as they left, the kid asked me if I wanted to be on the sex offender's list. Before I could even process that, he told me to stay out of his way and he wouldn't accuse me of anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 827

You deserved it 2 653

Today, while in bed, my boyfriend pointed to my stomach and said, "Bad fat", then pointed to my boobs and said, "Good fat." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 617

You deserved it 7 781

Today, a teacher asked me to edit a video of her class. Unfamiliar with cameras that work with video tape, I accidentally recorded over her video. The footage is impossible for me to get back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 210

You deserved it 1 013

Today, I let my son take my car out for a spin, since he just got his licence. He didn't make it out of our street before totaling it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 417

You deserved it 15 163