Doctor, Awkward and Kids: Kids talk

Kids talk

By SerenityJ - 27/09/2013 20:00 - United States - Mountain View

Today, while sitting in a crowded waiting room at the doctor's office, my 5-year-old daughter pointed at my 6-year-old son's crotch and boomed, "MOM, WHY DOES ANDY HAVE A FINGER DOWN THERE?" to which he yelled, "IT'S CALLED A COCK!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 036

You deserved it 7 151

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 01/05/2015 20:41 - United Kingdom - Oundle

Today, in the middle of the supermarket, my 7 year old son asked me what a cocksucker is and why his mum always calls me that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 384

You deserved it 3 651

By SadDad - 06/03/2009 01:51 - United States

Today, in a very crowded public restroom at a sporting arena, after looking to the man using the urinal to his right, my 6 year old son turns to address me on his left and exclaims, "Daddy, that man's wiener is a lot bigger than yours!" The whole bathroom heard and looked immediately at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 316

You deserved it 4 358

Not now, Sweetie

By Redbeard - 24/01/2020 05:00

Today, while we had my husband's boss over, my 3-year-old son decided to burst into the living room naked and yell, "Mum, look! Penis!" and wiggle it around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 188

You deserved it 368

By KittyKat - 03/11/2013 14:22 - United Kingdom - Milton Keynes

Today, my husband was getting undressed. I told my 2-year-old daughter not to go in our bedroom because he was undressing in there. I turned my back and she instantly ran off to my bedroom. I heard her shout "I can see daddy's tail!" Now, she points to everyone's crotch and shouts "TAIL!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 946

You deserved it 7 099

Helpful

By Big bootay - 28/01/2019 16:00

Today, while at a restaurant, my 4 year-old son pointed at a lady and exclaimed, “Mom, her butt is even bigger than yours!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 225

You deserved it 360

When feral kids attack

By GracieGirl - 04/10/2019 06:00

Today, while waiting for my name to be called at the doctor's office, a little boy threw a Dixie cup full of water at me, making it look like I wet my pants. His mom just laughed and dragged him off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 635

You deserved it 113

Stunned silence

By Anonymous - 20/12/2014 22:42 - United Kingdom - Cambridge

Today, my 7 year-old daughter loudly asked in the middle of a supermarket, "Mummy, what's a cunt?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 184

You deserved it 3 914

By Bailey - 22/08/2010 06:58 - United States

Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 759

You deserved it 14 094

By Oily - 16/12/2011 09:08 - New Zealand

Today, my 7-year-old daughter came up to me in a noisy mall and said "boo-boo" pointing to her hand. Not paying enough attention, I kissed her hand to make her feel better. She grimaced and said "No dad, bird poo." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 223

You deserved it 14 448

By Anonymous - 12/03/2014 03:34 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, my 3-year-old son discovered his testicles. When I asked him what they were, he replied, "They're my balls! They make my winkie happy!" Now he won't quit singing it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 906

You deserved it 6 123

darth1 18

Saturday 28 September 2013 5:06

Wow, that's awful and hilarious.

NiCeGuY115 14

Saturday 28 September 2013 5:06

Your son really knows how to be blunt

Comments

soak_25 21

Sunday 29 September 2013 1:19

OMG LOL I AM DIEING!!!!

Psycho_Babydoll 26

Sunday 29 September 2013 2:55

Has anybody made an Andy and Woody joke yet, or...?

underguarded 20

Sunday 29 September 2013 4:01

I want to say that that's bad parenting but I mean, at least the boy knows what he's got..

KarmaGetsMe 2

Sunday 29 September 2013 4:24

Eeeek

girlbye23 15

Sunday 29 September 2013 5:28

I actually laughed at an FML for the first time. Thanks OP

wtdafuq 6

Sunday 29 September 2013 6:06

Lol! Kids say the darnest things!

mrcbh 6

Sunday 29 September 2013 17:28

Well it's NOT called a finger. She was so wrong. Pfft...

Ubehage 32

Sunday 29 September 2013 21:41

I really don't get why this is such a big deal... After all, he is right. And kids are naturally curious. I guess IDY for not telling her about it sooner.