Doctor, Awkward and Kids: Kids talk

Kids talk

By SerenityJ - 27/09/2013 20:00 - United States - Mountain View

Today, while sitting in a crowded waiting room at the doctor's office, my 5-year-old daughter pointed at my 6-year-old son's crotch and boomed, "MOM, WHY DOES ANDY HAVE A FINGER DOWN THERE?" to which he yelled, "IT'S CALLED A COCK!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 035

You deserved it 7 151

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 01/05/2015 20:41 - United Kingdom - Oundle

Today, in the middle of the supermarket, my 7 year old son asked me what a cocksucker is and why his mum always calls me that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 382

You deserved it 3 651

By SadDad - 06/03/2009 01:51 - United States

Today, in a very crowded public restroom at a sporting arena, after looking to the man using the urinal to his right, my 6 year old son turns to address me on his left and exclaims, "Daddy, that man's wiener is a lot bigger than yours!" The whole bathroom heard and looked immediately at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 316

You deserved it 4 358

Not now, Sweetie

By Redbeard - 24/01/2020 05:00

Today, while we had my husband's boss over, my 3-year-old son decided to burst into the living room naked and yell, "Mum, look! Penis!" and wiggle it around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 188

You deserved it 367

By KittyKat - 03/11/2013 14:22 - United Kingdom - Milton Keynes

Today, my husband was getting undressed. I told my 2-year-old daughter not to go in our bedroom because he was undressing in there. I turned my back and she instantly ran off to my bedroom. I heard her shout "I can see daddy's tail!" Now, she points to everyone's crotch and shouts "TAIL!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 946

You deserved it 7 099

Helpful

By Big bootay - 28/01/2019 16:00

Today, while at a restaurant, my 4 year-old son pointed at a lady and exclaimed, “Mom, her butt is even bigger than yours!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 225

You deserved it 360

When feral kids attack

By GracieGirl - 04/10/2019 06:00

Today, while waiting for my name to be called at the doctor's office, a little boy threw a Dixie cup full of water at me, making it look like I wet my pants. His mom just laughed and dragged him off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 635

You deserved it 113

Stunned silence

By Anonymous - 20/12/2014 22:42 - United Kingdom - Cambridge

Today, my 7 year-old daughter loudly asked in the middle of a supermarket, "Mummy, what's a cunt?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 184

You deserved it 3 914

By Bailey - 22/08/2010 06:58 - United States

Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 759

You deserved it 14 094

By Oily - 16/12/2011 09:08 - New Zealand

Today, my 7-year-old daughter came up to me in a noisy mall and said "boo-boo" pointing to her hand. Not paying enough attention, I kissed her hand to make her feel better. She grimaced and said "No dad, bird poo." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 223

You deserved it 14 448

By Anonymous - 12/03/2014 03:34 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, my 3-year-old son discovered his testicles. When I asked him what they were, he replied, "They're my balls! They make my winkie happy!" Now he won't quit singing it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 905

You deserved it 6 123

darth1 18

Saturday 28 September 2013 5:06

Wow, that's awful and hilarious.

NiCeGuY115 14

Saturday 28 September 2013 5:06

Your son really knows how to be blunt

Comments

elizacandle 29

Saturday 28 September 2013 19:11

Looks like it's time for some sex ed.

mattyiscool123 26

Saturday 28 September 2013 19:20

This is by far the best fml I have ever seen.

NotoriousLES 14

Saturday 28 September 2013 19:22

Why is it that basic anatomy is a mystery to your children? They really should know boys have a penis and girls have a ****** before ages 5 and 6 when they hear all kinds of things from kids at school. Even if you are way too uptight to explain the opposite gender's difference, surly it was your responsibility to teach your children the proper names of their own body parts.

QueenOrangeSoda 21

Saturday 28 September 2013 21:17

I have no problem with kids knowing the words "penis" and "******," as long as they are using it correctly, modestly, and appropriately. However, "****" is never an appropriate term for children.

NotoriousLES 14

Saturday 28 September 2013 22:01

Proper anatomy names... Yeah, "****" is obviously not on that list, especially at 6 years old.

lanco_fml 10

Saturday 28 September 2013 19:28

kids are awesome..ty for the laugh

liaRawr 9

Saturday 28 September 2013 19:53

You'll look back and laugh

Taurus_ChicKa 36

Saturday 28 September 2013 20:06

Wow...okay, this day and age, yes it's a good idea for boys and girls to know their different body parts (but I do agree that they shouldn't know it as "****" at that age). But they should also know proper etiquette and how to act in public. Your children don't know how to do either - your daughter apparently didn't know what was in her brother's pants, and your son was fondling himself in public and they both screamed about it. Teach them proper manners please.

Stumphumper 0

Sunday 29 September 2013 0:31

#73. Children don't always behave properly in public. Especially when they're bored. Maybe they have been waiting a long time. Yes it was a poor choice of words for him to use but we no longer live in a time when children should be seen and not heard. Sorry to disappoint you miss manners.