Love and Intimacy: Lesson learned

Lesson learned

By kjirut - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Norway

Today, I realized that the only thing I learned from my first serious relationship was how to fake an orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 233

You deserved it 5 333

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Top comments

WonderBlunder 0

Wednesday 28 October 2009 0:11

Son: Why do women fake ******? Father: Because they think we care.

Savvysass 0

Wednesday 28 October 2009 0:32

ydi for not showing him how to get you there. Faking screws you out of having fun while getting nailed. oh and since he thinks you like the crap he did, he's going to keep doing it. This will keep happening to you. Grow up.

Comments

andrewms 0

Wednesday 28 October 2009 1:33

YDI for not talking to your partner about it...

omghehehe 0

Wednesday 28 October 2009 1:38

sad 1st "serious" relationship and sex life, if that's all u learned :( hope the next one is/was better

KWifey305 0

Wednesday 28 October 2009 2:34

lmao...I learned a bit more but have to agree that was one of the things that I learned

achem 0

Wednesday 28 October 2009 3:05

wanna fake another 1?

UWBeautyQueen12 0

Wednesday 28 October 2009 3:26

Same thing I learned.

crystal25 0

Wednesday 28 October 2009 4:46

Same thing I learned.

TAST3MYRAINB00Wx 0

Wednesday 28 October 2009 5:01

lame fml is getting bad

feed_the_ducks 0

Wednesday 28 October 2009 5:02

damn FYL indeed. I hope that's not something I learn in my first serious relationship.

Super_Vegetto 0

Wednesday 28 October 2009 5:39

That's sad. Speak up, or forever hold the penis. Looks like you can practice faking with yourself now. I hear it's not as enjoyable.

jngurley01 0

Wednesday 28 October 2009 6:21

sounds very familar!

Keywords

Miscellaneous Relatable Embarrassing Awkward Health Love Am I overreacting? Relationship advice Work Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts Fight Neighbours Cops Drugs Medication Dogs Animals Teenagers Ironic

The Top

Today, I went out with this girl I really liked and she came back to my place. Things were heating up and we ended up having sex. I was on top and really into it but in the middle of it she held up her wrist and said, "Huh, look at the time, I gotta get home." She wasn't wearing a watch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92 747

You deserved it 17 915

Today, I told my roommate that I was an atheist and she laughed. I left and returned to find her and her prayer group praying for my soul. She told me to accept Jesus Christ as my lord and savior. I said no. Then she told me to find somewhere else to live. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 851

You deserved it 1 041

The Top

Today, I was using the restroom when a little girl tried to open my stall. It was locked, so she slid under the door and tried to have a conversation with me while I was pooping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 108

You deserved it 3 883

Today, and for months now, the meds that stop me from killing myself have killed my sex drive. My boyfriend, being stressed at work, initially assured me that his was also non existent and not to worry. I found out he's been wanking every day and hiding it from me so I don't feel bad. Now I know, I feel fucking awful. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 384

You deserved it 631

Today, I was alone in my friend's kitchen. I had "Don't Cha" stuck in my head all day so I decided to let it out by doing a slutty dance, including spinning around the support pole in the kitchen. I heard a noise outside and saw my friend's dad had been cleaning the windows. With a boner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 257

You deserved it 61 933

Today, my sister thought it would be funny to spray my face with my new tanning spray, which is only supposed to be used on arms and legs. I woke up and looked in the mirror to see an orange blotchy face staring back at me. My parents can't look at me without laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 064

You deserved it 6 737

Today, my mom needed coffee so I drove to Starbucks to get her some. She let me drive the Porsche, which has never happened. Upon coming home I picked the coffee up out of the cupholder so it wouldnt spill. My phone vibrated in my pocket, I spilled the coffee and crashed the car into the garage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 209

You deserved it 65 488

Today, I just found out I have a roommate who smokes. I can’t change roommates for at least six months. I put on the form that I wanted a non-smoker because of health issues, but someone looked at the form wrong. At the moment they’re full up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 897

You deserved it 134