Kids, Dogs and Intimacy: Life imitates art

Life imitates art

By awkwardsituation - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I watched a stray dog hump a garden gnome in my front yard. So did my two year-old daughter. I've already had to stop her "re-enactments" twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 757

You deserved it 4 980

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Top comments

iSitt 0

Sunday 11 July 2010 16:38

it's the next travelocity commercial

jrkarikas 0

Sunday 11 July 2010 16:45

YDI for having an easy garden gnome.

Comments

julzyy 0

Sunday 26 September 2010 17:53

1. #40 that reminded me of horatio on csi miami, with the shades. 2. lmfao, the kids are all ****** up.

Northside6934 0

Friday 4 February 2011 14:58

future stripper in deed.

alliteen 3

Friday 19 August 2011 14:54

awwww, she's just practicing!

theeNSP 0

Sunday 6 November 2011 2:23

Uhhh #4 r u crazy?

BaDumTsss_fml 23

Monday 11 July 2016 10:27

My 4-year-old niece does it when she's tired (to a pillow not gnome ofc) and it's completely fine

Keywords

Love Surprise Cute Awkward My ex Texting Intimacy Sex Wanker Mental health Health Insomnia Sleep Food Cooking Kids Weekend Parents Pranks Annoying Miscellaneous Work Embarrassing Technology Coworkers Zoom Argument Roommate Pizza Animals

The Top

Today, my girlfriend decided to try swallowing instead of spitting. Now this was entirely her own idea, I never asked her to try, and yet when she gagged, vomited, and sneezed so it all came dribbling out of her nose, somehow it was all my fault because I’m "disgusting." I love you too, Sweetie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 489

You deserved it 109

Today, I met one of my fiancé's coworkers. Normally I'd never ask how far along someone's pregnancy is without being 100% sure they're not just fat, but she seemed fit. Well, I now know that virtually all the fat in some people's bodies can go straight to their gut and nowhere else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 840

You deserved it 6 362

The Top

Today, I went to dinner with my friend and his family. I went to the men's room at the same time as his father, and as we peed next to each other in adjacent urinals the father looked over at me and said, "Don't worry, I've seen smaller." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 371

You deserved it 3 042

Today, I decided to try and seduce my boyfriend of 2 years. He was on his laptop, and while he was on it I took off my shirt and bra, and gave him a hug from behind. What I didn't know was that he was video chatting his father the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 672

You deserved it 48 835

Today, my older boyfriend and I went shopping together. When we arrived at the till, the cashier looked at me and asked, "Is this your pop?" I replied "No, this is my boyfriend, but we get that a lot." She paused, pointed at the case of Coke in the cart and said again, "Is this your pop?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 659

You deserved it 3 141

Today, my girlfriend openly admitted to me that she wouldn't have gone out with me if she hadn't been drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 051

You deserved it 4 183

Today, my band played its first real gig. It was going well, and I, the vocalist, thought it would be a good idea to stage dive. I underestimated the distance between the stage and the crowd and crashed into the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 867

You deserved it 59 695

Today, I asked my boss for a few days off next week, because my grandmother passed away yesterday and I'll need to travel to attend the funeral. His response: "She's dead, you're not. You want time off, then quit." FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 370

You deserved it 3 833