Intimacy: Liquored up

FML for mobile
Free

Liquored up

By OyGeeze28 - 09/08/2011 06:24 - United States

Today, at work in a liquor store, a man came in to demand a refund because after he "drank the whole bottle of Jack" he "couldn't get it up" for his wife. He thought that alcohol was supposed to be an aphrodisiac, and blamed me personally for his "whiskey dick". FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 026

You deserved it 3 152

May weddings: Love and blunders
Weddings are supposed to be perfect, but our stories show that perfection can sometimes be... surprising! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 07/01/2013 11:11 - Australia - Hurstville

Today, an intoxicated gentleman stumbled into my shop requesting alcohol, which I do not sell. When I informed him of this, he expressed his disappointment by urinating on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 361

You deserved it 2 256

Cash me?

By Anonymous - 02/09/2019 11:00 - Canada - Lakeville

Today, working in a liquor store, I had to tell a girl I couldn't sell her alcohol since she was severely intoxicated. She told me to "cash me ousside, how bow dat?" then smashed a bottle of wine and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 846

You deserved it 120

Casual perv

By Anonymous - 31/03/2009 01:13 - United States

Today, I was ringing an old man up in the local grocery store when I had realized all he was buying was 3 bottles of vodka and a box of condoms. While I was loading the bags into his cart he laid his hand on my shoulder and told me, "I'd take you home with me but chances are I would be arrested". FML

I agree, your life sucks 111 515

You deserved it 6 040

By Anonymous - 07/09/2012 00:49 - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, I was refused employment at a liquor store. Their reason? I'm a regular customer and they're afraid I'll drink all their profits. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 431

You deserved it 21 393

By fuck you, dad - 27/09/2012 18:36 - United Kingdom - Brighton

Today, I was eating out at a restaurant with my family. My dad had drained most of our bottle of wine, so thinking he'd be a little less uptight than usual, I reached over to pour myself some. He swatted my hand away and started yelling at me for being a "degenerate drunk". FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 708

You deserved it 6 317

I'm not paid enough for this shit

By Bartender - 20/10/2014 21:04 - United States - Saint Paul

Today, near the end end of my shift as a bartender, a drunk man stumbled into my bar, got upset because I refused to serve him, puked into my tip jar, then offered me half a pack of cigarettes in exchange for sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 536

You deserved it 2 646

By PerfectVision - 11/09/2014 06:49 - United States - Long Beach

Today, I had to decline the sale of alcohol to a man who reeked of booze and was practically falling asleep at my till. He tried to convince me that he wasn't drunk, he was just blind. Still refusing to sell him the beer, he started yelling at me, accusing me of "being racist against the 'blinds'". FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 085

You deserved it 3 251

By useless pos - 01/03/2013 00:48 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I went out to buy a bottle of wine and some condoms. As the cashier scanned the condoms, she snickered and muttered, "Yeah right." She was right; I really was just desperate to look like I have a sex life. I got so upset that I left my items and walked out with tears in my eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 311

You deserved it 12 397

By Cup_of___ - 26/11/2009 16:23 - United States

Today, I walked into a liquor store and thought about inquiring for a job application. After seeing the cashier, I thought about inquiring if she was single. After accidentally breaking three bottles of liquor, I didn't do either. I left the store, still single and unemployed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 942

You deserved it 30 149

Receipe ideas

By Anonymous - 24/05/2022 16:00

Today, after I was surprised by my husband announcing he was coming off the drink and going to the gym to get in shape, I found out that I've been such a fool, as it turns out the pre-workout shakes he kept making contained about 5 shots of vodka, so he could drink at home without me moaning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 981

You deserved it 152

unluckiestperson_fml 14

Tuesday 9 August 2011 16:01

"Whiskey dick." Some images you just can't erase from your mind

Youtube00 5

Tuesday 9 August 2011 16:06

Whiskey dicks, always better than "Rum"-ginas

Comments

Soloman212 28

Tuesday 9 August 2011 16:43

7- your*

alkaid 14

Tuesday 9 August 2011 16:51

Give me one shot for my pain xD

Anupants 0

Tuesday 9 August 2011 16:57

One drag for my sorrows!

mariayten 0

Wednesday 10 August 2011 8:56

Guild wars win!! :)

galt 13

Saturday 5 May 2012 15:17

Bruno mars FTW.

ThreeSheetsGone 12

Tuesday 9 August 2011 16:59

Whiskey dick is the best form of birth control ever. If this guy's drinking an entire bottle of Jack and going back for more, he really shouldn't be having sex at all, let alone reproducing.

perdix 29

Tuesday 9 August 2011 16:59

You should give him a refund and a copy of the Dead Kennedys' "Too Drunk To ****" for future reference. Now, that's taking care of business like shaving your bush.

ImTheAlpha 30

Saturday 25 February 2012 20:57

There is actually a music tour called 2 Drunk 2 ****.

tylenol123 0

Tuesday 9 August 2011 17:03

People are retarded...

bizarre_ftw 21

Thursday 11 August 2011 2:59

Hey, finally bothered to get an fml :D (it's Emma btw)

snoopyF 9

Tuesday 9 August 2011 17:07

that is hilarious! FYL!

perdix 29

Tuesday 9 August 2011 17:12

He's been listening to too much Ke$ha.

starwind3438 9

Tuesday 9 August 2011 17:42

That will make any guys dick go inside out as far as I'm concerned.

ElementalDragon 2

Tuesday 9 August 2011 17:21

Where might this liquor store be? I'll be sitting in one for the next 9 hours.

starwind3438 9

Tuesday 9 August 2011 17:33

I meant 7 was right the first time.

namhowell 6

Tuesday 9 August 2011 17:24

LOL at people still thinking alcohol and getting it up have positive reaction towards one another.

starwind3438 9

Tuesday 9 August 2011 17:31

14, 13 was right the first time. He was referring to Every1luvsboners but he/she shortened his name. Also if you had noticed they capitalized the B. Grammar Natzi fail.