Intimacy: Liquored up

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Liquored up

By OyGeeze28 - 09/08/2011 06:24 - United States

Today, at work in a liquor store, a man came in to demand a refund because after he "drank the whole bottle of Jack" he "couldn't get it up" for his wife. He thought that alcohol was supposed to be an aphrodisiac, and blamed me personally for his "whiskey dick". FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 027

You deserved it 3 152

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 07/01/2013 11:11 - Australia - Hurstville

Today, an intoxicated gentleman stumbled into my shop requesting alcohol, which I do not sell. When I informed him of this, he expressed his disappointment by urinating on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 361

You deserved it 2 256

Cash me?

By Anonymous - 02/09/2019 11:00 - Canada - Lakeville

Today, working in a liquor store, I had to tell a girl I couldn't sell her alcohol since she was severely intoxicated. She told me to "cash me ousside, how bow dat?" then smashed a bottle of wine and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 847

You deserved it 120

Casual perv

By Anonymous - 31/03/2009 01:13 - United States

Today, I was ringing an old man up in the local grocery store when I had realized all he was buying was 3 bottles of vodka and a box of condoms. While I was loading the bags into his cart he laid his hand on my shoulder and told me, "I'd take you home with me but chances are I would be arrested". FML

I agree, your life sucks 111 516

You deserved it 6 041

By Anonymous - 07/09/2012 00:49 - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, I was refused employment at a liquor store. Their reason? I'm a regular customer and they're afraid I'll drink all their profits. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 431

You deserved it 21 394

By fuck you, dad - 27/09/2012 18:36 - United Kingdom - Brighton

Today, I was eating out at a restaurant with my family. My dad had drained most of our bottle of wine, so thinking he'd be a little less uptight than usual, I reached over to pour myself some. He swatted my hand away and started yelling at me for being a "degenerate drunk". FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 709

You deserved it 6 317

I'm not paid enough for this shit

By Bartender - 20/10/2014 21:04 - United States - Saint Paul

Today, near the end end of my shift as a bartender, a drunk man stumbled into my bar, got upset because I refused to serve him, puked into my tip jar, then offered me half a pack of cigarettes in exchange for sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 536

You deserved it 2 646

No beer for you

By PerfectVision - 11/09/2014 06:49 - United States - Long Beach

Today, I had to decline the sale of alcohol to a man who reeked of booze and was practically falling asleep at my till. He tried to convince me that he wasn't drunk, he was just blind. Still refusing to sell him the beer, he started yelling at me, accusing me of "being racist against the 'blinds'". FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 085

You deserved it 3 251

By useless pos - 01/03/2013 00:48 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I went out to buy a bottle of wine and some condoms. As the cashier scanned the condoms, she snickered and muttered, "Yeah right." She was right; I really was just desperate to look like I have a sex life. I got so upset that I left my items and walked out with tears in my eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 311

You deserved it 12 397

By Cup_of___ - 26/11/2009 16:23 - United States

Today, I walked into a liquor store and thought about inquiring for a job application. After seeing the cashier, I thought about inquiring if she was single. After accidentally breaking three bottles of liquor, I didn't do either. I left the store, still single and unemployed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 942

You deserved it 30 150

Receipe ideas

By Anonymous - 24/05/2022 16:00

Today, after I was surprised by my husband announcing he was coming off the drink and going to the gym to get in shape, I found out that I've been such a fool, as it turns out the pre-workout shakes he kept making contained about 5 shots of vodka, so he could drink at home without me moaning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 981

You deserved it 152

unluckiestperson_fml 14

Tuesday 9 August 2011 16:01

"Whiskey dick." Some images you just can't erase from your mind

Youtube00 5

Tuesday 9 August 2011 16:06

Whiskey dicks, always better than "Rum"-ginas

Comments

dpricenator 1

Tuesday 9 August 2011 20:29

bartender here, I hate drunk people so much that I quit drinking. But the money is good, and the girls are easy.

maskedman 9

Tuesday 9 August 2011 21:27

That's why I don't drink either. I hilarious to watch people make fools of themselves, but I don't want to be one of those people.

lisha88 1

Tuesday 9 August 2011 20:30

He doesn't know drinking that kind of liquor makes it hard to get your dick up smh his fault

misslc 4

Tuesday 9 August 2011 22:00

We actually have had patient's complaining of "liquor dick" check in to the ER I work in..

Iamnotmyself 17

Tuesday 9 August 2011 22:56

-48 Actually I am. So shut up.

Mirorbo 26

Tuesday 9 August 2011 23:39

That's probably the more original excuse I've ever heard when it comes to someone trying to get a refund for something they already used up.

superjewwwwww 0

Wednesday 10 August 2011 1:45

What a dick.

HomeAl0ne 20

Wednesday 10 August 2011 2:00

If the whiskey doesn't work, use the empty bottle.

LightUpThaJay 3

Wednesday 10 August 2011 2:37

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! That's a total "bitch it out" moment.

modiese 3

Wednesday 10 August 2011 3:32

Fail.

alliecat76 0

Wednesday 10 August 2011 3:33

I can only wish for something that ridiculous would happen at the liquor store I work at

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