Gross and Health: Manchild - FML

Manchild

By lynnie - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I had to come up with a reward system for getting my boyfriend to brush his teeth daily. He's 24. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 413

You deserved it 6 207

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By savanah_aaron - 31/03/2017 20:00

Today, I have to use the same techniques to trick my 24-year-old husband into brushing his teeth, as I do my 2-year-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 945

You deserved it 723

Gross dude

By summer - 26/03/2021 21:30

Today, I had to beg my boyfriend to get him to take a shower and brush his teeth. This is a basic weekly argument. FML

I agree, your life sucks 877

You deserved it 328

By Gahh... - 03/12/2012 05:18 - Canada - Surrey

Today, I had to show my husband a video on how to brush your teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 039

You deserved it 2 960

Stuck in the middle with you

By Carrie - 28/03/2020 02:00

Today, I had to beg and argue with my boyfriend to get him to take a shower and brush his teeth. This has become a recurring argument now we're confined together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 652

You deserved it 282

By Dat Stanky Mouf - 16/03/2013 21:52 - United Kingdom - Sheffield

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend why chewing "shit-tons of gum" is not an actual alternative to brushing his teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 258

You deserved it 3 600

By disgustedgf - 28/06/2011 07:32 - United States

Today, my boyfriend admitted that he stopped brushing his teeth two days after we started dating. Tomorrow is our 2 year anniversary. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 935

You deserved it 8 752

Clean

By gag! - 10/12/2022 00:00

Today, my boyfriend complained that I "treat him like a child" by asking him if he’s brushed his teeth before we kiss. Gee maybe if he brushed regularly like a fucking adult, I wouldn’t HAVE to ask. FML

I agree, your life sucks 967

You deserved it 216

By Brittany - 18/06/2012 14:57 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were kissing. Halfway through the kiss, he rubs his tongue along all my teeth and says, "You need to brush your teeth." FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 910

You deserved it 38 046

By ToddlersWife - 15/06/2014 11:10 - United Kingdom - Reading

Today, my husband and I got into an argument over him not brushing his teeth. It ended with him snapping his toothbrush in half. He's 52. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 295

You deserved it 6 101

Halitosis

By Anonymous - 13/10/2021 20:00

Today, my boyfriend and I were making out when I asked him to go brush his teeth, since his breath stank. He went back to playing video games. FML

I agree, your life sucks 913

You deserved it 288

Next

Top comments

ajmacrae 5

Sunday 23 October 2011 16:06

A point for every time he brushes his teeth. 5 points for a gold star. And with 2 gold stars he can trade in for a bj.

ikickgingers 15

Sunday 23 October 2011 16:05

Sexual rewards?

Comments

cristalduhh 5

Sunday 23 October 2011 22:19

how sad. I have to do the same wtf is their problem.

SlaggsYo 0

Sunday 23 October 2011 22:34

Give him demerits if he dnt lol

leadman1989 15

Sunday 23 October 2011 23:15

Little golden stars... yay. When he gets four he get a bj. If he brushes everyday that like one a week and like a MILLION A YEAR!!!! luckiest guy ever!!! sarcasm

underguarded 20

Sunday 23 October 2011 23:20

He sounds like a good family man...

oliviaselina 0

Sunday 23 October 2011 23:49

That's disgusting.

lilly98ish 4

Monday 24 October 2011 0:05

Ummm yeah that would be over I would be like ew Ur gross ba bye

missbliss907 4

Monday 24 October 2011 0:10

Sounds like you need to stop playing games with little boys and get a real man.... Just saying

Okayitwasme 0

Monday 24 October 2011 0:12

Get some nice pictures of teeth smiling people and put them everywhere. When he's asleep whisper to him....." Brush your teeth , or they will fall out." Next morning before he wakes up, remove the pics & put up pictures of toothless people and dentures in the same places.

My_Nightmare 19

Monday 24 October 2011 1:14

Thaaaaat's pretty gross. Do you have a reward system set up so that he'll shower as well?

Steve95401 49

Monday 24 October 2011 1:29

Yet another FML story of a woman dating an overaged adolescent. OP needs a boyfriend who is a man, not a boy.

4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11

Keywords

Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Sleep Work Love Dating Annoying Am I overreacting? Health Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts Fight Neighbours Cops Drugs Relatable Medication Animals Dogs Teenagers Ironic Video games Gamers Zoom

The Top

Today, I went out to dinner with my boyfriend and his mom. The hostess asked if I needed "the kid's menu," remarked how I look "so grown up for your age," and asked what grade I was in. I said I'm in university. She laughed as if it was the best joke ever told. I'm 22. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 774

You deserved it 2 046

If you want to be the next published artist, send an email to alice [at] fmylife.com including a link to your website/blog/DA. But DON'T send your illustration right away! You need first to get in touch with me, and I'll tell you what you have to do!...

I agree, your life sucks 9

You deserved it 23

The Top

Today, I made an appointment with a therapist because lately I've been feeling alone and like no one cares about me. I waited at her office for about forty minutes before the receptionist informed me that she must have forgotten about the appointment. Even my therapist stands me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 94 808

You deserved it 6 573

Today, my girlfriend was complaining that we don't have "a song". Irritated, I told her that I'd put on the radio, and whatever song was playing was our song from now on. I switched on the radio, and "It's Not Fair" by Lily Allen was playing. Our song is about premature ejaculation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 345

You deserved it 61 854

Today, I’m in India. As a good foreigner, I want to adapt myself and to do everything like the locals. I tried to get off the bus while it was still rolling. I lost a pair of jeans, a knee and my dignity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 530

You deserved it 251

Today, my anxiety cockblocked me. I was in the middle of a wank, about to come, when I suddenly freaked out and had to stop and check to make sure I didn't have any homework due tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 661

You deserved it 4 652

Today, as I squatted down to get a snack, my pajama pants ripped wide open. I guess the universe is try to tell me something. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 441

You deserved it 1 855

Today, I fell over on the bus. X-Rays revealed not only that I have been growing extra bones in my foot, but that when I fell, I crushed all of them. Doctors don't know how to fix bones that aren't supposed to be there, so they're just going to cut them out. Two days before Christmas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 155

You deserved it 2 753