Health, Gross and Cooking: Meandering - FML

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Meandering

By Kate & Nate - 29/11/2023 14:00 - United States

Today, I tried a new recipe for dinner. However, the recipe was written by someone with a penchant for overly dramatic storytelling. I spent the entire evening deciphering the narrative while desperately trying to salvage a dish that ultimately tasted like disappointment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 386

You deserved it 216

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Same thing different taste

Experimenting

By anon - 24/08/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, I found a recipe online that looked delicious and not too complicated. Halfway through cooking, I realized I was reading the instructions for two different recipes and had combined them into one horrific dish. The resulting meal tasted like burnt cardboard mixed with regret. My girlfriend ended up ordering takeout. FML

I agree, your life sucks 140

You deserved it 477

Speak for yourself

By Anonymous - 21/08/2019 12:00

Today, I was at a fancy family dinner. The dish I'd made was served, and as we ate, I told my aunt that I was a total failure as a cook, explaining everything wrong about my dish, in painful detail. Apparently we'd both made the same dish. That one wasn't mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 941

You deserved it 1 662

Just eat it

By salt bomb - 02/03/2023 07:00 - United States

Today, I spent all day carefully preparing a wonderful homemade beef and vegetable stew from scratch. Close to dinner time, I tasted it and it was inedibly salty. Confused, my horrifically bratty stepdaughter then laughed and admitted she poured salt in it because it wasn’t what she wanted for dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 273

You deserved it 141

The neverending dinner

By Anonymous - 18/03/2023 14:00

Today, I was so excited to finally try a new recipe that I found online. After hours of prep, I realized I misread the serving size and ended up cooking enough food to feed a small army. I don't have a freezer and I live in the middle of nowhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 645

You deserved it 609

By Sad Chef ;( - 05/12/2014 03:33 - United States

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. Being a chef of a highly-rated restaurant, I cooked a well-liked dish. Not only did she say no, but commented on how bland and tasteless the meal was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 971

You deserved it 3 362

We'll just order out

By Lili - 22/03/2025 09:00 - United States - Akron

Today, I cooked dinner for my boyfriend, hoping to impress him with my culinary skills. I burnt the garlic bread, overcooked the chicken, and managed to set off the smoke alarm three times. When I finally served the meal, my boyfriend said, "It's like a sad buffet at a middle school prom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 237

You deserved it 185

Now we're cooking

By Anonymous - 05/05/2023 15:00 - Canada

Today, I made homemade pasta from scratch. I spent hours kneading the dough, rolling it out, and cutting it into perfect strips. When I went to cook it, I realized that I forgot to add salt to the dough. The pasta tasted like damp cardboard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 696

You deserved it 276

By Frozen Food Fan - 11/08/2015 14:29 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I posted on Facebook about a cooking mishap I had. My fiancé and ex then spent the next hour trading stories of my other kitchen disasters in the comments. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 972

You deserved it 5 582

Kitchen Nightmares

By cook for yourself dammit! - 12/07/2020 14:01

Today, tired of my husband complaining that my food was basic and bland, I went out of my way to learn to cook using new recipes and fresh ingredients. He complained that I took too long to make dinner, and that the food is "fancied up shit." He can cook his own meals now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 719

You deserved it 220

Food for thought

By Anonymous - 10/08/2023 16:00

Today, in order to not upset my boss's autistic son who believes he is a chef, I had to choke down food that was both burnt and undercooked in the middle, contained way too much salt, and no other seasonings at all. I’m a real chef and I could feel my taste buds dying after eating that slop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 783

You deserved it 210

Next

Top comments

speedy_rudolf 5

Wednesday 29 November 2023 15:28

oh, you're one those, huh? people that start making things / cooking without reading the instructions all the way through... :))

Hangryko 31

Wednesday 29 November 2023 18:35

I assume there was no "jump to recipe" button?

Comments

speedy_rudolf 5

Wednesday 29 November 2023 15:28

oh, you're one those, huh? people that start making things / cooking without reading the instructions all the way through... :))

Hangryko 31

Wednesday 29 November 2023 18:35

I assume there was no "jump to recipe" button?

Yudith 24

Wednesday 29 November 2023 23:50

Scrolling is there for a reason...

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The Top

Today, my mother had "The talk" with me about sex. I spent the entire time confused as to what brought this up, until she mentioned she had found a used condom in the backseat of the car. I haven't had any action in it, and have no idea whose it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 368

You deserved it 2 289

Today, I uploaded a new Facebook profile photo, which got over 20 likes in the space of an hour. The most I've ever gotten before was 10. Surprised, I went to check my picture again, only to notice two guys were sarcastically flipping me the bird in the background. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 972

You deserved it 8 466

The Top

Today, my girlfriend's little brother challenged me to a water gun fight. I accepted, not knowing he was going to fill his gun with vinegar, then shoot me in the eyes with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 710

You deserved it 4 673

Today, I was on a first date and everything was going great, until I realized I had garlic breath from the garlic bread I ate earlier. I tried covering it with a mouthful of wine, but it just made it worse. I ended up trying to avoid any closeness, and now I guess I'll just die alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 563

You deserved it 480

Today, I realized I'm so scared of my manager that I don't even dare to quit my job. The same job I want to quit exactly because I'm so scared of her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 821

You deserved it 10 380

Today, my husband got drunk, which was bad enough, but then he got me to the point where I wanted sex too, so I let him climb aboard. He was inside me for 3 thrusts and then stopped. He’d fallen asleep, so I pushed him off me, mad as hell, then he farted and shit a little bit. I married this twat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 993

You deserved it 803

Today, I called my seven-year old son to help me with the ice-maker on the fridge because it wasn't working. Without even pausing, he turned the child lock off and started laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 519

You deserved it 39 215

Today, my cat managed to digest some of the grass she ate. This makes her poop come out daisy-chained, and sometimes leaves a piece dangling from her ass on a string of grass. Then she runs around like crazy until it falls off, if possible on my bed. I had to catch her and pull it out by hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 074

You deserved it 2 375