Intimacy: Message in a mattress - FML

Message in a mattress

By FASHlONABLE - 05/04/2010 07:32 - United States

Spicy

Today, I came back from a week long class trip. My mother took it upon herself to replace my bed sheets and clean my room. Apparently, she found a note under my mattress from my ex-boyfriend. It said "For all you future dudes, Connor was here first!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 312

You deserved it 10 025

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Same thing different taste

Get Out

By Anonymous - 25/07/2013 06:04 - Australia - Mulgrave

Today, I came home to find that my mother had cleaned my room, and she'd done a very good job, too. So good in fact, that she even managed to remove all of the furniture, replacing it with a note that said, "It's time to go, sweetie XO". FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 143

You deserved it 8 137

Enough is enough

By Rachaael - 19/01/2023 02:00

Today, I fell asleep at my boyfriend’s house and missed my curfew. It’s almost 4 a.m. Scrambling, I arrived home to find the locks changed. On the door knob was a note: “Go live with your boyfriend, you slut. See if he cooks and cleans up after you. I’ll help you move out your stuff in the morning. - Mom” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 880

You deserved it 396

Not now, mom!

By Anonymous - 28/09/2020 18:02 - United States - Gillette

Today, my mother showed up to pick something up from my house. I was sleeping and before I knew it she was in my bedroom, jumping on my bed, saying hi to my ex-girlfriend who she thought was with me. It wasn't my ex, and I doubt that girl will ever want to hang out again after that awkward morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 280

You deserved it 199

By nomorecleaning - 16/03/2013 12:17 - United States - Augusta

Today, I discovered that the reason my mom hasn't been noticing the extra cleaning I've done lately is because her boyfriend took credit when she asked about it; and was rewarded for it in bed. I helped him get with my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 165

You deserved it 4 039

Get out

By wtf - 14/03/2011 04:07

Today, I came back to my boyfriend's house where I've been staying to find all my things thrown outside, ruined, including my entire CD collection, textbooks and clothes cut up. All because I had left my phone there and had got a text from a guy saying, "Hi, how have you been?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 542

You deserved it 8 966

By laydeegaga - 07/03/2010 08:13

Spicy

Today, my mom cleaned my room, while doing so she found a very detailed sex book I got from an ex boyfriend as a "gift". For years I had her convinced I was still a virgin, until today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 417

You deserved it 28 936

Carrier pigeon

By Anonymous - 10/03/2022 12:00

Today, I sent my girlfriend a nice "Good morning" text after I woke up. Then I found a paper note stuck to my bedroom door, in which she broke up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 020

You deserved it 90

By Anonymous - 15/10/2013 20:52 - United Kingdom - Stretham

Today, my parents dropped by my new house, and my mother offered to tidy up for me while I was out. After they left, I noticed that her "tidying up" included throwing out all the pictures of my girlfriend and replacing them with pictures of herself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 598

You deserved it 4 843

By Madeline Lee - 09/04/2012 21:34 - France - Pessac

Spicy

Today, I woke up to the sight of a zucchini and a condom on my bedside table, along with a note saying "I know it's tough being single." Apparently my mom has boundary issues, my dad will laugh at anything, and the fact I just got dumped means nothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 685

You deserved it 3 036

By Anonymous - 10/08/2018 06:00

Spicy

Today, I found out my roommate has been using my bed for months because he didn't want his sheets to "smell like gay sex" when his mom washed them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 839

You deserved it 328

Next

Top comments

wrigglezeus 0

Monday 5 April 2010 16:04

legend lol

Blur009er 0

Monday 5 April 2010 16:06

territory claimed

Comments

girlfailure 0

Tuesday 6 April 2010 0:28

haha epic, connor is beast!!!

LevyLove 17

Tuesday 6 April 2010 0:59

maybe it's John Connor and he came to deliver that note from the future!!! LOL 

aardvarkish 15

Tuesday 6 April 2010 1:10

I'm sure she just chuckled at innocent our children are, these days.

polarcap10 0

Tuesday 6 April 2010 1:14

connor epic win ydi

hollybabby 0

Tuesday 6 April 2010 2:27

this is hilarious but my ex is named connor sooo this is kinda weird

dsegui4 0

Tuesday 6 April 2010 2:56

-15 me too! y r most Connors fat??

Is_mise_Uzi 0

Tuesday 6 April 2010 3:00

Haha... :)

leadrunner751 3

Tuesday 6 April 2010 3:18

Connor for the win!

nrose1000 0

Tuesday 6 April 2010 3:32

lol r u lezbo #60? ur freekin hawt

jklonm2 0

Tuesday 6 April 2010 4:06

why is this an FML that's a win in my book!

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The Top

Today, I heard my sister masturbating in her room. I took the dog around the block to get out of the house, and I came back to see her leaving her room. She had my electric toothbrush in her hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 809

You deserved it 64

Today, I finally got my paycheck from working at my minimum wage job for the last three months. I was delighted when I saw it was worth $846. On my way to cash it, I destroyed my car's suspension. It's going to cost almost $800 to fix. FML

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You deserved it 6 718

The Top

Today, my boyfriend told me that his daughter only liked me because she thought that we look like siblings. FML

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You deserved it 92

Today, I found out my husband only started to date me because he thinks I look like his daughter. She was 5 at that time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 936

You deserved it 153

Today, I walked around for hours with a Post-it on my back reading, "I JUST HAD SEX!" My boyfriend stuck it on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 753

You deserved it 8 225

Today, I got an A+ on a writing assignment. My teacher asked me three times if I really did write this article myself, and didn't memorise an article from the Internet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 507

You deserved it 127

Today, my boyfriend told me why he stood me up last night instead of coming over to visit. Apparently me telling him I couldn't wait for him to do naughty things to me turned him off, and made him feel like a piece of meat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 128

You deserved it 11 774

Today, I woke up to large spot of blood in my underwear. This wouldn't be too big a deal if I didn't have a penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 433

You deserved it 1 632