You start by saying soulmate but I don’t see it from the rest of your sentence.

did he have a paternity test done? If not then he should.

You can't divorce your soulmate. Or, maybe you could disabuse yourself of the ridiculous concept of a "soulmate," and realize everyone has feet of clay. Then, you can divorce the ******.

There is no such thing as a “soulmate” or “the one”. There are only people who may or may not be compatible. Compatibility is a two way street - You each have to be good for each other... People are neither perfectly good nor completely bad. When the problems start to outweigh the good things it is time to carefully evaluate the relationship. It is usually better to try to fix the relationship if possible than to abandon it at the first difficulty. But there are times when we need to be honest with ourselves and understand when things are fixable and when they aren’t likely to ever be fixed. You also have to prioritize. Humanly speaking, it’s easy to put a higher value on what we now want but can’t seem to have, and to discount what we have that might be important to us when we end the relationship… OP, only you can decide if this relationship has a future for you. You can seek counseling from someone who’s opinion you value - But probably not from a friend because they usually tell you what they think you want to hear and that’s not ultimately helpful… Personally, my thoughts are more sympathetic toward your husband. If you want a divorce because of the consequences of your husband providing child support to a child of his, he probably deserves a better wife. I get that sometimes the day to day financial struggles get you down and may put your own dreams on hold. But much of life is a struggle - It seems to be part of being human. Sometimes you do have to pull the plug when you are at your wits end. But the older you get, the more probable you are to find that otherwise marriageable prospects have children they have to support so consider that in your calculations.