Family, Awkward and Miscellaneous: Mortifying

Mortifying

By whatashame - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my dad was on the couch and I sat down next to him. As I was reading a text message, I saw my dad's fat stomach sticking out so I patted it. After the first two pats, I realized I was patting in the wrong place. I patted the family jewels. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 557

You deserved it 80 740

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Same thing different taste

Dad!

By ScarredDaughter - 29/03/2016 05:01 - United States - Chula Vista

Today, my family and I were laying on my parents' bed watching a movie. My dad wrapped his arm around me and began rubbing my shoulder. That would have been fine, if it actually had been my shoulder and not my boob. Needless to say, we were both mortified. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 257

You deserved it 2 001

By smf_ds - 31/07/2015 20:48 - Portugal - Rebordosa

Today, I witnessed my dad spreading his ass cheeks to show my mom the rashes his hemorrhoids are giving him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 074

You deserved it 2 225

Nice view

By Sexting Parents - 16/11/2012 02:45 - United States - Short Hills

Today, my dad asked me to send my mom a text since he was driving and I was in the passenger seat. I pulled up my mom's contact on his phone, and I found that my mom had recently sent my dad a picture of her jugs, along with the message, "We miss you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 863

You deserved it 2 753

Fact of scratching

By Anonymous - 24/01/2020 14:00

Today, I was eating chips with my father. After I finished eating a chip I felt something between my teeth, It was pubic hair. I soon realized my dad was scratching his testicles while eating chips. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 410

You deserved it 307

By Anonymous - 25/06/2010 00:14 - United States

I agree, your life sucks 97 968

You deserved it 6 544

Moobs

By Anonymous - 30/06/2009 22:19 - United States

Today, I met with a friend who had gained some weight since I saw him last. After a friendly hug, I put my hand on his new man boob and, without thinking, left it there way too long. I realized that I was groping him and, in a panic, did the only thing I could think of. I patted it. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 009

You deserved it 54 701

Chubby life

By Anonymous - 10/02/2020 18:00

Today, I was tying my hair up when my dad rubbed my stomach and asked how his grandchild was doing. He knows I'm not pregnant and that I've been trying really hard to lose weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 584

You deserved it 295

By fml - 03/09/2013 06:31 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, my dad told me I was folding my laundry all wrong. I said with a smirk, "A little clothes-minded, are we?" He slapped me. Hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 531

You deserved it 12 104

By imblue42 - 24/06/2015 05:16 - United States

Today, I walked into the dining room to find my mom popping pimples on my dad's back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 246

You deserved it 3 701

By Fatty - 27/12/2009 07:15 - United States

Today, the guy I've had a crush on came over to my house. My Dad came in to see how we we're doing, looks at me and says "Man... You've REALLY been puttin' on the pounds!", pokes me in the stomach a few times, and leaves. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 502

You deserved it 4 177

PlasticShark 0

Wednesday 1 April 2009 12:31

YDI for even wanting to pat the belly in the first place... that's just... disturbing... =

sarah8909 0

Wednesday 1 April 2009 12:30

So the jewels were sticking out where you were patting or you just didn't bother looking and decided to pat him in that general area? YDI

Comments

Blanadestroyer 0

Wednesday 1 April 2009 12:57

Jewelery, huh? Did you pat the scepter or the orbs too?

BigZadii 0

Monday 4 October 2010 19:35

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

Silhouette_fml 0

Wednesday 1 April 2009 12:58

There is a famous saying that goes "Look before you leap". You may want to try that next time >_>

troubledshampoo 0

Wednesday 1 April 2009 13:10

Agreed with #6. YDI.

iKayla 0

Wednesday 1 April 2009 13:22

This just makes me wonder, "Is there more to this story that any of us should know about?"

jazminbliss 2

Wednesday 1 April 2009 13:24

lol #15. agreed with $13

dontcallmekim 0

Wednesday 1 April 2009 13:28

i would move out.

jdawg2010 0

Tuesday 1 November 2011 15:39

I agree, kim.

Four 0

Wednesday 1 April 2009 13:31

How did this make it? -.-

Jasper_fml 0

Wednesday 1 April 2009 13:43

how the **** do you not notice the difference?

bitchplease69_fml 0

Wednesday 1 April 2009 13:53

**** YOU. FAIL. BITCH.

Yuuhi 0

Wednesday 1 April 2009 13:56

you totally felt up your dad LOLZ

Keywords

Animals Cats Poopoo peepee Gross Smells Love Awkward Miscellaneous Embarrassing Health Painful First Dates Christmas Work Social Media Music Grieving Anniversary Boredom Abuse Ironic Intimacy Drunk Am I overreacting? Transportation AITA Alcohol Parents Gun control Kids

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 21 471

You deserved it 1 271

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I agree, your life sucks 30 895

You deserved it 2 156

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I agree, your life sucks 11 290

You deserved it 45 057

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I agree, your life sucks 39 568

You deserved it 9 452

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I agree, your life sucks 14 554

You deserved it 2 934

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I agree, your life sucks 48 798

You deserved it 3 167