Family, Awkward and Miscellaneous: Mortifying

Mortifying

By whatashame - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my dad was on the couch and I sat down next to him. As I was reading a text message, I saw my dad's fat stomach sticking out so I patted it. After the first two pats, I realized I was patting in the wrong place. I patted the family jewels. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 557

You deserved it 80 740

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Same thing different taste

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I agree, your life sucks 18 009

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I agree, your life sucks 2 584

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I agree, your life sucks 55 531

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Today, I walked into the dining room to find my mom popping pimples on my dad's back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 246

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By Fatty - 27/12/2009 07:15 - United States

Today, the guy I've had a crush on came over to my house. My Dad came in to see how we we're doing, looks at me and says "Man... You've REALLY been puttin' on the pounds!", pokes me in the stomach a few times, and leaves. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 502

You deserved it 4 177

PlasticShark 0

Wednesday 1 April 2009 12:31

YDI for even wanting to pat the belly in the first place... that's just... disturbing... =

sarah8909 0

Wednesday 1 April 2009 12:30

So the jewels were sticking out where you were patting or you just didn't bother looking and decided to pat him in that general area? YDI

Comments

King_of_Kings 3

Wednesday 1 April 2009 15:09

not getting enough action outside of home?

Jime 0

Wednesday 1 April 2009 15:12

i find it funniest that after 2 pats, your dad didn't say anything YOU had to notice it $10 says he enjoyed it

skittles88 0

Wednesday 5 May 2010 4:46

#34 yur funny:))

Mattyknows 0

Wednesday 1 April 2009 15:15

Let's review. Your dad has his junk hanging out the couch You sat next to your dad; with his gear hanging out, then proceeded to "pat" the gear. One "pat" wasn't enough. Your dad didn't think to stop you, as you proceeded to "pat" your first home a second time. Is that right? If so . . . **** your mum's life. She puts up with some weird ass shit.

Lotus_Eater 0

Wednesday 1 April 2009 15:19

Since when does a fat belly look like a package? I don't get how you couldn't tell the difference... :/

DeeJayD 0

Wednesday 1 April 2009 15:20

What's even more creepy is that your dad didn't do anything after the first one. Aaaaaawkwaaaaaard.

omg_18 0

Wednesday 1 April 2009 15:38

wtf.

mistress_friday 0

Wednesday 1 April 2009 15:39

This is beyond disturbing. You must be a really observant person to not notice what you were patting. Why the hell would you be patting your dad's stomach anyway?

ms_nobody 0

Wednesday 1 April 2009 15:54

First off, Why the hell would you be patting your dad's stomach? and Second, HOW the hell do you confuse a man's junk with his stomach? YOU ARE RETARDED!