Family, Awkward and Miscellaneous: Mortifying

Mortifying

By whatashame - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my dad was on the couch and I sat down next to him. As I was reading a text message, I saw my dad's fat stomach sticking out so I patted it. After the first two pats, I realized I was patting in the wrong place. I patted the family jewels. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 557

You deserved it 80 740

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Same thing different taste

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I agree, your life sucks 32 863

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I agree, your life sucks 3 410

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I agree, your life sucks 97 968

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I agree, your life sucks 18 009

You deserved it 54 701

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I agree, your life sucks 2 584

You deserved it 295

By fml - 03/09/2013 06:31 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, my dad told me I was folding my laundry all wrong. I said with a smirk, "A little clothes-minded, are we?" He slapped me. Hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 531

You deserved it 12 104

By imblue42 - 24/06/2015 05:16 - United States

Today, I walked into the dining room to find my mom popping pimples on my dad's back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 246

You deserved it 3 701

By Fatty - 27/12/2009 07:15 - United States

Today, the guy I've had a crush on came over to my house. My Dad came in to see how we we're doing, looks at me and says "Man... You've REALLY been puttin' on the pounds!", pokes me in the stomach a few times, and leaves. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 502

You deserved it 4 177

PlasticShark 0

Wednesday 1 April 2009 12:31

YDI for even wanting to pat the belly in the first place... that's just... disturbing... =

sarah8909 0

Wednesday 1 April 2009 12:30

So the jewels were sticking out where you were patting or you just didn't bother looking and decided to pat him in that general area? YDI

Comments

F14Shado 0

Wednesday 1 April 2009 23:50

ROFL #35 FTW

kmcmillin18 0

Thursday 2 April 2009 0:03

why were your dads balls out while you were there? and why would you ever pat your dads stomach fat? and was he awake? cause if he was..why didnt he stop you?

the_ik 0

Thursday 2 April 2009 0:15

HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAH!!! WOW.... thats ****** up but he didnt even like try to tell you that it was his stuff??? lol what a nice dad/

ReneeAsa 0

Thursday 2 April 2009 0:29

ok so i get the whole patting his belly. I mean when I visit home and dad has put on a little weight or something i make a joke out of by pattin his belly buuuuuut the part I don't understand is why they hell didn't he tell you the first pat of the junk??? jw

Marysenjo 0

Thursday 2 April 2009 1:07

ewww ew ew ew. why would you wanna do that in the first place anyway??? that's so disturbing!!!! i'm gonna have nightmares now :S

xlucklessloverx 0

Thursday 2 April 2009 1:12

so you basically started giving ur dad a handjob and he said... nothing? well i dont think its you we have to worry about...

kellster 2

Thursday 2 April 2009 1:30

UM. Why the hell were your dad's balls hanging out?? Or did you just miss the fat you were aiming for? Why would you randomly pat any person without looking first? YDI hardcore for utter, utter fail!

LiLOnE 0

Thursday 2 April 2009 1:30

yewr wierd first off all why would yew pat his stomach? [freak]

planetearth 0

Thursday 2 April 2009 1:36

(1) why is your dad sitting around with his nuts hanging out? (2) how did you confuse nuts with belly (3) why are you patting bellies? You fail at life.