Sex and Intimacy: My ears!

My ears!

By puking now - 14/12/2013 00:34 - Canada - Sherwood Park

Today, my sister brought a guy home while our parents were out. They had sex in her bedroom. I heard everything. The worst part wasn't her stupidly excessive moaning; it was that the moans sounded eerily similar to a cow mooing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 189

You deserved it 5 162

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Same thing different taste

By whoawhoawhoa - 28/12/2010 22:04 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I heard my parents going at it upstairs. He said, "sounds like they're having more fun than we did." To make it worse, he crept to their door and put his ear to it, telling me what he heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 632

You deserved it 4 984

By OhFseriously123 - 06/08/2009 10:05 - Italy

Today, I was having sex with a girl. She was really into it and not holding back on the noise...That is, until I received a text message from my little sister next door reading "If she is making that much noise, she is probably faking it...Trust me, I know." FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 554

You deserved it 13 643

Good moaning

By jackson - 06/09/2010 17:02 - United States

Today, I was woken up by my sister and her husband pretending to make moaning sounds in the room next to mine. I began to make moaning sounds as well to fight back. It turns out the "moaning" was actually their dogs snoring down stairs. Breakfast was awkward. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 144

You deserved it 39 120

Creeped out

By shawty - 22/08/2010 12:14 - Australia

Today, I heard my mother and father having sexual intercourse, and I found out that my mother moans the same way as my girlfriend. Guess who I now think about every time my girlfriend moans? FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 192

You deserved it 6 469

By Awkward... - 29/01/2013 09:40 - United States - Killeen

Today, my sister's boyfriend called while she was out. The second I answered he tried to have phone sex with me. When I explained to him that I wasn't my sister and that we just sound the same on the phone, he replied, "Don't care, let's keep going." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 247

You deserved it 5 001

Nooooooo!

By ScarredEars - 12/08/2010 12:02 - United States

Today, I heard my parents having sex. It wouldn't have been so bad if we weren't in the same hotel room. They thought I was asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 386

You deserved it 3 801

By why - 28/07/2014 01:55 - United States

Today, I listened to my best friend describe having sex with her boyfriend in explicit detail. This would have been fine, but her boyfriend is my little brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 718

You deserved it 5 527

Disrespectful

By awskme - 09/01/2010 00:36 - France

Today, I was having passionate sex with my girlfriend of nine months. She was making a lot of noise, so I told her to keep it down, and reminded her that my parents and sister downstairs. A few minutes later, I got a text from my sister, saying my parents wanted to make sure I was wearing a condom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 851

You deserved it 29 099

By glittercat - 26/01/2009 23:44 - United States

Today, I heard my mom moan in the other room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 259

You deserved it 3 323

By Anonymous - 03/01/2009 16:48 - France

Today, I can hear my parents having sex in the next room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 691

You deserved it 4 395

Nyx_fml 23

Saturday 14 December 2013 5:05

Seems like her boyfriend wasn't the only one getting milked.

Nederlander95 14

Saturday 14 December 2013 5:04

I guess he was just a real BULL in bed

Comments

mxij 13

Saturday 14 December 2013 19:31

Well then, I guess you know what an animal she is in bed

xerbrus 14

Saturday 14 December 2013 19:46

i think i know your sister :p

havok87 11

Saturday 14 December 2013 23:34

Is she fat?

willsies 1

Saturday 14 December 2013 23:44

They had a cowgasm

Xotoolyxo 16

Sunday 15 December 2013 1:12

Moooooooooooooooo-ve it over there?

p_nafnaf_fml 12

Sunday 15 December 2013 11:40

I'm wondering : why didn't you left since you felt so annoyed ?

TheRoyalBattler 5

Sunday 15 December 2013 11:44

After you herd her, did you feel like moooooo-ving out?

mattdaviess 6

Sunday 15 December 2013 19:56

Well, you were on the other side of the wall, you don't really know what he's into...

Superman_Geek15 6

Monday 16 December 2013 3:08

Im guessing your sister isnt old enough to have sex if she has to do it when the parents are out

allliseee 8

Monday 16 December 2013 9:33

Tell your sister, she'll never make any sound again.

Keywords

Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Sleep Work Love Dating Annoying Am I overreacting? Health Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts Fight Neighbours Cops Drugs Relatable Medication Dogs Animals Teenagers Ironic Video games Gamers Zoom

The Top

Today, I walked into the living room to find my 11-year-old daughter about to kiss her "not my boyfriend" on the lips. When I asked what she thought she was doing, she peeled a piece of scotch tape off her lips and said, "It's okay! We're using protection." FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 189

You deserved it 11 246

Today, I came home from the minimum-wage job I suffer through to support my now ex-boyfriend's ailing music career. It seems his time management skills suck almost as badly as his music, because I found him in my bedroom, licking whipped cream off my step-sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 855

You deserved it 4 564

The Top

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. We decided to have sex in her basement. All awesome, until her mom walked down and wanted to watch a movie with us. I had to watch it naked under a blanket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 337

You deserved it 7 932

Today my neighbor's asked me to feed their two horses while they go on vacation for a month. I happily agreed. As they were getting in the car to drive off, they added, "Oh, and water the plants!" They have six acres. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 476

You deserved it 1 234

Today, I was filling out paperwork with my new doctor. During the questionnaire, she asked if I was sexually active. I said yes. She then asked, "What do you do?" I told her I normally did vaginal, but sometimes anal. She blushed and started to laugh. She was asking where I worked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 266

You deserved it 47 309

Today, we recently found out I'm infertile, and I thought we were both devastated, until my partner posted a drunk video to Facebook, basically celebrating that we will never have, "crying, nappy-shitting, soul-sucking, bank account-draining little sods." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 279

You deserved it 392

Today, in my psychology class, we were given a sheet that had a list of stressful events and we were to select the ones we had experienced in the last 12 months. I got highest in my class of above an 80% chance of getting a life threatening illness due to stress. Everyone laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 431

You deserved it 3 218

Today, I bought an expensive, heat-resistant double-sided tape to attach my dashcam to the windshield. It didn't last five hours, but has stuck nicely to the floor mat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 556

You deserved it 168