Intimacy: Neat - FML

Neat

By moms know best??? - 27/07/2013 21:41 - Canada - Morinville

Spicy

Today, I received some unwanted anal sex tips. They were unwanted because I'm not into anal sex, and the tips came from my drunk mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 869

You deserved it 4 658

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. More…

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Same thing different taste

You what?

By charliesangel123 - 21/02/2010 17:16 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I was waiting downstairs at my boyfriend's house as he got ready to go. His mom came over and said she was so glad her son had met me, that I made him really happy. I smiled thinking how nice that was of her to say. She then continued, "Still, he tells me anal is a no?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 515

You deserved it 3 721

By Anonymous - 23/02/2012 20:25 - United States

Spicy

Today, my mom tried to give me the sex talk, while I was mounting my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 819

You deserved it 37 528

Inference

By Canuckboy - 24/06/2021 07:59 - Canada

Spicy

Today, a few weeks after coming out to my parents, my mother randomly asked me, "Your father and I have tried anal sex a few times, but it hurts too much. D'you have any advice on what to do?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 539

You deserved it 404

By DanniRae - 13/03/2009 13:48 - United States

Spicy

Today, my mom was helping me clean out stuff from college. She opened a box and took out some anal beads I got as a gag gift. She asked, "What are these?" I answered, "They are for massaging your back". She then insisted I show her. I massaged my mother with anal beads. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 328

You deserved it 70 723

TMI

By mael - 25/11/2008 08:54 - France

Spicy

Today, I was looking for a magazine in my mother's bedside cabinet and I came across some daft test about sex. Apparently, my mother likes anal, oral, and my dad's cock is bent. Nauseous. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 547

You deserved it 10 495

Easy mistake to make

By Becca Velveeta - 26/10/2019 14:00

Spicy

Today, my mother's boyfriend sent me pictures of my mom sucking him off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 254

You deserved it 201

By idontevencareanymore - 23/05/2014 21:25 - United States - Jarrell

Today, my mom came home drunk and crying, so I tried to comfort her and asked what was wrong. She wasted no time admitting that she'd hooked up with her ex-husband, AKA my dad, but that it'd sucked for her because he has a tiny penis. Thanks, I really needed to know that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 209

You deserved it 4 706

TMI mom!

By Anonymous - 13/04/2022 16:00

Spicy

Today, my drunk mom informed me that out of all my potential brothers and sisters she’s swallowed over the years she’s "glad" I’m the one she "accidentally drooled onto her crotch, swam up her fanny and invaded" her "virgin egg." This kind of shit is why I moved out at 16 and still have a therapist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 553

You deserved it 154

By speed-dialing dr kevorkian - 27/02/2016 07:25 - United States - Two Rivers

Today, my mom came home heavily drunk. As I was taking care of her, she told me all about how I was a mistake. That didn't hurt nearly as much as when she told me she wishes I'd died during her pregnancy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 160

You deserved it 1 320

By jannister - 13/08/2012 19:25 - Germany - Bad Blankenburg

Today, my mom threw my tampons in the garbage and said that from now on, I'll be buying pads instead. Turns out she read a scare story going around by email that all the local teens are soaking their tampons in alcohol and inserting them anally to secretly get drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 918

You deserved it 2 151

Next

Top comments

FlyingPie 17

Sunday 28 July 2013 5:32

At first I thought the word "tips" was being used as a double entendre.

RoboCunnilingus 23

Sunday 28 July 2013 5:35

Anal sex tips from drunk mom? -changes porno-

Comments

Damned_Architect 25

Sunday 28 July 2013 6:25

Ouch!!! Mom, that hurt!

Enslaved 36

Sunday 28 July 2013 6:27

"Oral sex makes my day Butt Anal sex makes my hole weak"

worldclassrager 39

Sunday 28 July 2013 6:53

Well maybe the tips will help your sex life...and maybe posting them might give us a hand or two in our relationships...

Slaught000 9

Sunday 28 July 2013 6:53

This is the most disgusting FML I've ever read. My organs cringed at the thought of it.

JasonUMN 15

Sunday 28 July 2013 6:56

At some point in time, you just have to excuse yourself out the back door in situations like this.

Royalistic 8

Sunday 28 July 2013 8:12

Or demonstrate.

TheCanucklehead 22

Sunday 28 July 2013 8:30

1st off, your going to need a cucumber, lettuce and tomato. After hours of pain and agony...I'll finish my sandwich. Then I'd be happy to give you tips

braceinevitable 8

Sunday 28 July 2013 8:30

I wish my Mom would give me such great advice.

imdabess 9

Sunday 28 July 2013 8:59

There's always that saying "mother knows best"...

wdthompson1 18

Sunday 28 July 2013 9:15

Those Canadians...always so helpful.

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The Top

Today, I’ve worked hard to lose ten kilos. It took daily workouts and walking 10 kms a day to make the weight finally move, and I’m the fittest I’ve been in years. My mum, after having not seen me for a while, says in front of everyone during the holidays, “Wow, those injections have worked for you!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 504

You deserved it 79

Today, my 8 year-old little sister said, "F*** you" to my mom. My mom thought I told her to say that and grounded me for a month. Later, my sister came up to me and said, "Gotcha, bitch." FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 123

You deserved it 4 210

The Top

Today, while trying to get my boss to reconsider laying off much of my department, I accidentally convinced him to lay me off too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 980

You deserved it 6 146

Today, I was violently throwing up due to severe morning sickness. My boyfriend looked at me, then turned and walked away. In the end, my daughter gave me some paper towel and her juice. My 18-month-old is more supportive of my pregnancy than her 30-year-old father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 482

You deserved it 6 230

Today, the guy I’ve had a crush on for ever declined a date with me to see the new Deadpool & Wolverine movie because he isn’t interested in dating. I decided to go to see the movie on my own. I ran into him at the same screening I went to, all cozied up with another girl. What the hell does she have that I don’t? FML

I agree, your life sucks 280

You deserved it 527

Today, my mother refused to buy a cat because my sister is allergic to them. She bought a rabbit instead. I'm allergic to rabbits. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 417

You deserved it 1 523

Today, I went to see my favorite band. It was all amazing and great until I decided to go crowd surfing. I was maybe too heavy because people jumped away instead of catching me. I fell right on my tailbone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 697

You deserved it 32 362

Today, after I was surprised by my husband announcing he was coming off the drink and going to the gym to get in shape, I found out that I've been such a fool, as it turns out the pre-workout shakes he kept making contained about 5 shots of vodka, so he could drink at home without me moaning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 973

You deserved it 151