Work: Never gets old

Never gets old

By Anonymous - 26/07/2013 03:15 - United States - Kannapolis

Today, I was in a training about the newest changes in CPR. The trainer was discussing chest compression techniques and said she prefers "good, fast, hard pumping." I was the only one who snickered out loud, drawing several annoyed looks from the other trainees. I'm a 45-year-old doctor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 903

You deserved it 20 600

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 28/10/2014 18:35 - United Kingdom

Today, I went to a first aid training course. I had to lie on the floor and pretend I was unconscious. We were supposed to be doing the recovery position, but the guy I was working with decided to perform CPR instead and grope my boobs in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 549

You deserved it 3 485

Ight imma head out

By Anonymous - 10/10/2024 13:00 - United States

Today, I was nervously observing a delicate medical procedure while training at my new job. I tried to stifle a sneeze and instead (as you can probably guess) ripped the biggest, most cartoonishly loud fart of my life. My ass sounded like a tuba and I was asked to leave the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 410

You deserved it 138

By megan - 01/04/2015 17:56 - United States - Lutz

Today, it's April Fool's day. I had to take a CPR class, and everything was going well. We took a break and I went to get a drink of water and started choking. They thought I was making fun of the class, and made me leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 208

You deserved it 2 474

By DUMMIE - 04/03/2010 00:07 - United States

Today, we were working with infant and adult CPR dummies. After practising flawless CPR on the adult dummy, I announced "And that's how you save someone." Then I tripped on the baby dummy and fell. My co-worker stood up and yelled out, "And that's how you kill a baby." FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 642

You deserved it 30 311

By EMT_Koulianos - 25/05/2009 15:14 - United States

Today, I was performing CPR on a woman on her floor while her internal defibrillator kept firing, making her whole body jump. When it fired, her hand went straight up into my nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 129

You deserved it 4 091

By Australian Lifeguard - 22/10/2014 03:18 - United States - Scottsdale

Today, I was giving lifeguard instructions to a couple of teens. When I quizzed them about what they should do when someone is choking, one of them said, "Take a step back" and winked at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 854

You deserved it 4 032

By thedullard - 16/02/2009 05:35 - United States

Today, at the gym, I see a person laying unconscious on the ground with people crowded around. Previously being a lifeguard, and knowing CPR, I ran over and asked a man what happened, preparing to check his vitals. I then realized that the body was a dummy and the employees were doing a drill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 459

You deserved it 31 236

By guy - 30/07/2012 03:24 - United States - Avon Lake

Today, I was taking a walk when I noticed an elderly man on the ground, unmoving. Being a registered nurse, I tried to give him CPR. As my lips touched his, he hacked a loogie and spat it into the back of my throat. I swallowed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 162

You deserved it 5 806

By ViviMage - 20/07/2018 20:30

Today, while working in a blood drawing clinic, a mom sat in the chair holding her 4-year-old child, who kicked me square in the groin. Being a heavyset lady, I shrugged it off and collected the sample, while the child screamed, "Kicking worked on the last man that did this!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 885

You deserved it 397

Pumped up

By Macey Brietenback - 13/04/2023 00:00

Today, I was in the hospital. My mom was with me and the pump was beeping for over two hours because everyone was busy with other patients. The Asian doctor came in and my mom said, “THESE PUMPS SOUND LIKE CHINESE TORTURE!“ He stared at her and was like, “Umm. We don’t actually do that there.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 606

You deserved it 152

CDobs 8

Friday 26 July 2013 9:09

No worries, I'd have done the same thing.

AGB10 19

Friday 26 July 2013 9:10

Nothing wrong with that..I think it's amusing too..specially if the trainer is cute ;) Look on the bright side - Maybe you were the only one in the room who feels 25..and the rest maybe 25 but going in 70..

Comments

fleur_de_fevrier_fml 22

Friday 26 July 2013 10:44

You're never too old for a dirty joke :)

Barjabulesque 7

Friday 26 July 2013 10:45

I don't trust anyone that doesn't laugh at the words pump, rim, enter, or titmouse.....

CharresBarkrey 15

Friday 26 July 2013 12:51

Or duty.

RedPillSucks 31

Friday 26 July 2013 17:22

I laugh everytime I hear my 10 year old nephew say he's going to play call-o-doodie

annie_nk 22

Friday 26 July 2013 10:55

There's new changes to CPR?

Evil_Wench 16

Friday 26 July 2013 11:31

They change procedure every couple of years because they're still not sure how many breaths to compressions is most effective.

CharresBarkrey 15

Friday 26 July 2013 12:52

This is why you have to get re-certified every 2 years...

annie_nk 22

Friday 26 July 2013 20:09

It's been about 3 years for me. Time to find a class!

Smoldering 15

Friday 26 July 2013 11:14

It's ok Op. you don't have a dirty mind, you just have a sexy imagination. There is a bright side to everything.

YeahYeahYeahOK 6

Friday 26 July 2013 11:16

YDI, But really.... I would have had a real hard time not laughing myself :D

tomatosz 23

Friday 26 July 2013 11:20

Fast? Sure, let's not give the heart time to fill up with blood... I heard that one of the most common rookie mistakes is going too fast. 100bpm is ideal iirc (hum along to Stayin' Alive and you'll have the right timing).

mimiminx 23

Friday 26 July 2013 11:50

It's faster than what it used to be. It used to be a compression for every second or so (or 1 gin and tonic, 2 gin and tonic and so on) but now, like you say it's about 100 compressions a min