Health: Newbie - FML

Newbie

By stanky - 19/06/2015 14:47 - United States - Columbus

Today, I was about to leave for my honeymoon with my new husband, when he saw my deodorant in my bag. He picked it up and asked what it was. When I said it was deodorant, he gave me a confused look and said, "Girls don't wear deodorant." He actually believed that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 344

You deserved it 3 007

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Same thing different taste

By cleangirl - 14/03/2011 23:45 - United Kingdom

Today, my new boyfriend was at my flat for the first time. He picked up something in the bathroom and said 'What the hell's this?'. I told him what it was for, and he said 'You girls and your weird female products. Who needs all this stuff?'. It wasn't a female thing. It was shampoo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 543

You deserved it 4 625

By Anonymous - 27/11/2010 02:09 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend announced he has stopped wearing deodorant because he thinks his BO smells "manly." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 108

You deserved it 3 309

By Dee - 13/07/2009 00:41 - United States

Today, I was at a party at the house of the guy I really like. We were talking when he pulled me into his room. I was excited he was finally taking our friendship to the next level, until he handed me a stick of deodorant, saying "I didn't wanna tell you in the hallway, but you really need this." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 062

You deserved it 22 008

By SphereMaiden - 22/02/2018 01:30

Today, after ignoring me for about a week, my boyfriend finally broke up with me. Why? He discovered that I use prescription deodorant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 769

You deserved it 387

Stinky

By Anonymous - 07/08/2024 17:00 - United States - Milwaukee

Today, I went to work at my new job after taking a shower but I'd forgotten to put on deodorant. I started getting strange looks and wondered why, only to find out later that everyone was talking about me, including someone I have a crush on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 180

You deserved it 347

By Oops - 27/08/2010 04:06 - United States

Today, I realized that it wasn't my science partner that smelled bad, it was me. How? The guy I have a crush on handed me a stick of deodorant and said, "Please use it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 863

You deserved it 37 068

The pits

By BFF4L - 12/02/2024 22:00 - Canada

Today, I was running late for work and grabbed what I thought was my deodorant. Turns out, it was my husband's foot spray. Now I'm at the office smelling like a combination of roses and athlete's foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 210

You deserved it 346

By m - 09/09/2009 20:16 - United States

Today, we went to the mall and my husband picked me out some perfume. When I asked him why he liked that particular one he responded with, "that's what's the stripper at my bachelor party was wearing." He was completely serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 775

You deserved it 4 239

Strange Diet

By Anonymous - 17/10/2019 18:00

Today, I woke this morning to my girlfriend asking me how many calories are in her deodorant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 436

You deserved it 206

Stealth

By smellyhair - 02/11/2014 11:28 - United Kingdom

Today, I was shopping for a new deodorant, and this guy was standing in the way. He wouldn't move, so I crouched down to get the one I wanted, right when he did the most violent fart right in my face. Then his wife came over, made a face and he whispered, "I think that girl just farted". FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 141

You deserved it 3 867

Next

Top comments

mukduk 21

Saturday 20 June 2015 0:25

How did he not notice all of the women's deodorant right next to the men's deodorant in the store?

lulinator 40

Saturday 20 June 2015 0:25

Well, it's true. We don't sweat, burp, or fart.

Comments

esca6angel 16

Monday 22 June 2015 8:01

Welcome to sex Ed. 101

wheelchairchick 11

Monday 22 June 2015 12:33

How do you get to marriage without knowing somebody is that stupid?

analise1998 25

Saturday 4 July 2015 22:31

hahahahahah

qpdoll 19

Saturday 9 January 2016 20:13

No he's right, we just shower in unicorn blood and that takes the smell right out.

kevinsagirl2323 8

Tuesday 7 November 2017 5:16

So he's never seen the commercials..ads..and womens deodorant for sale right next to the mens. right.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, on my way home from watching a movie with a girl, I began having an erection because I thought I could kiss her goodnight. She dropped me off at home, and with my full blown erection, I walked in front of her car with the headlights on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 434

You deserved it 46 510

Today, a slightly older guy friend of mine told me that he thinks of me as a little sister. Immediately afterwards, he tried to make out with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 438

You deserved it 87

The Top

Today, I was having some rare good sex with my husband, when he suddenly said, "I'm fuckin' BORED," and pulled out so he could go play his video games. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 181

You deserved it 5 620

Today, my house was the only house left that still had its Christmas lights up, so I decided to take them down. Almost done, my fingers brushed over a spiderweb. Startled, I jumped off the ladder and broke my shoulder. Oh, and the spider still managed to stay on my hand, giving me a panic attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 697

You deserved it 8 401

Today, I took my wife and our 6 year-old son to a company party. Sometimes I take my son to work with me, so he knows my coworkers. One of them walked over and introduces herself to my wife, and my son says, "Yeah, they go to into the bathroom together all the time during break!"’ Thanks, son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 298

You deserved it 3 489

Today, I was talking to my mom lamenting the fact that none of my few relationships seem to last longer than 2 months. She asked why and I said, "because I'm paranoid, obsessive compulsive, judgmental, defensive, and stubborn." Instead of encouraging me, she said, "Well, at least you're honest." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 612

You deserved it 46 658

Today, to spice things up, my boyfriend suggested we wear disguises. Amused by the idea, I accepted. That's how I ended up having sex with Gandalf. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 795

You deserved it 11 020

Today, I had a big figure skating competition. Many of the girls before me fell or did not execute their jumps correctly. Me? I skated a flawless program. I was placed last because they said I didn't push myself hard enough to the point of falling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 457

You deserved it 3 094