Kids, Sex, Parents and Intimacy: Nice to know

Nice to know

By Gemma - 06/01/2012 23:16 - United Kingdom

Today, my mother thought it would be a good idea to tell me that I was conceived on an airplane toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 732

You deserved it 3 080

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Same thing different taste

TMI

By ew. - 17/08/2010 04:28 - Canada

Today, I learned that I was conceived on a public bus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 298

You deserved it 4 860

By jared77 - 02/08/2011 16:26 - United States

Today, my mom decided to give me a bloodcurdlingly graphic sex talk. On a plane. I'm 23. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 759

You deserved it 2 875

By Anonymous - 04/09/2010 19:16 - United States

Today, I was on a plane when I suddenly felt the need to use the toilet. I didn't make it in time and I had to spend the remainder of my trip in soiled clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 852

You deserved it 16 270

By GeorgiaBOYY - 04/01/2010 17:40 - United States

Today, while using the bathroom on an airplane, someone walked in on me wiping my butt. That person just so happened to be the stranger I was sitting next to. It was an 8 hour flight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 167

You deserved it 8 195

Creeped out

By boardman - 25/05/2009 02:17 - United States

Today, I found out my parents joined the mile-high club. While I was on the plane. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 470

You deserved it 4 974

You sure this is the right time?

By KidCudi227 - 19/07/2011 05:42 - United States

Today, my mom gave me the "birds and the bees" talk, while she was taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 837

You deserved it 3 395

By Anonymous - 22/06/2012 14:11 - United States

Today, I went on a long flight. I was fortunate enough to sit next to a great girl. However, she must have thought I was not so great, because she moved to the empty seat across the aisle. Next to my dad. Who then told stories about how I always get motion sickness on airplanes. I then threw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 750

You deserved it 3 729

By mile high clubber - 14/07/2013 10:41 - United States - Bensalem

Today, while on the airplane, the cute girl next to me and I instantly hit it off. When I excused myself to the bathroom, I must have given her the wrong impression. She wanted to join the mile high club; I just wanted to take a crap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 169

You deserved it 13 685

The talk

By airplanes-suck - 21/08/2009 00:20 - United States

Today, I went on a plane and was sitting next to a mom with her 12-year-oldish daughter. Apparently, they decided to have "The talk." On the plane, right next to me. I heard everything, and actually learned new things. I'm 35. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 327

You deserved it 6 682

Smells like Toddler Spirit

By anon - 06/03/2017 00:00

Today, a toddler threw up on my backpack mid-flight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 618

You deserved it 381

kjcamaro3 5

Saturday 7 January 2012 7:44

Does that make you a member of the mile high club?

omfg_creepers 8

Saturday 7 January 2012 7:45

There's not much room in those bathrooms even for one person. Are your parents contortionists?

Comments

taurusxdee 10

Saturday 7 January 2012 19:27

How the hell?! We're they anorexic midgets?!

bubo_fml 10

Saturday 7 January 2012 19:34

Mile high or it's in your eye!

Okayitwasme 0

Saturday 7 January 2012 21:59

Do you like to fly?

abb31897 0

Saturday 7 January 2012 23:27

I was born on one. I feel your pain, bro.

StormsKnights 2

Sunday 8 January 2012 0:01

i was concieved at a purple rain concert in the back of a limo....Our parents are freaks...

ShadowPeo 11

Sunday 8 January 2012 0:29

Well at least you now know

tommyfox 19

Sunday 8 January 2012 2:25

Were there any venomous snakes involved?

xxHodgieLuvs1Dxx 0

Sunday 8 January 2012 2:35

Gee.. That would of been kinda awkward!

maddienoelle 13

Sunday 8 January 2012 5:17

That's why the plane was shaking.

Track1991 0

Sunday 8 January 2012 6:03

Maybe she's hinting that she wants to go on a plane again, "Get your pilots license."

Keywords

Work Money My ex Jealousy Love Accident Health Medication ADHD Snow Relatable Weather Miscellaneous Awkward Embarrassing Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts Fight

The Top

Today, after a broken smoke detector in my home caused the fire department to come, I got an angry visit from my neighbor who was upset because she had parked in front of a fire hydrant and got a ticket. She demands that I pay it, "or else." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 746

You deserved it 2 452

Today, I came home from the minimum-wage job I suffer through to support my now ex-boyfriend's ailing music career. It seems his time management skills suck almost as badly as his music, because I found him in my bedroom, licking whipped cream off my step-sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 855

You deserved it 4 564

The Top

Today, my mother cooked breakfast for everyone at my house. Then I later found one of my sex toys in the sink. I “casually” asked her what she used it for, and turns out she used it to make everyone’s scrambled eggs. She thought it was an electric egg whisk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 309

You deserved it 566

Today, I tried to propose to my girlfriend, but when I took out the ring it flew out of the box and disappeared. She's been crying for 3 hours and I'm down 2 grand. I still don't know what her answer is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 693

You deserved it 546

Today, I proudly put on display the custom clock I'd spent 3 months building from scratch. It struck the hour and promptly fell off the wall, breaking my wife’s antique vase that she'd inherited from her great nana. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 026

You deserved it 243

Today, I discovered that the vitamin I've been taking for hair growth actually works really well. Unfortunately, it only works on my leg hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 711

You deserved it 1 837

Today, I held a party for my family so I could announce my pregnancy. In the middle of my speech, my mother stopped me, saying, "Nobody gives a rat's ass, where's the booze?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 715

You deserved it 4 052

Today, I got a new job. I'm 26 and I left an amazing job to move back to be around my family. I have no choice but to take this job. I will be placing my finger in a dead turkeys ass, cutting open its stomach, and ripping out its guts. 15 per minute. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 106

You deserved it 10 783