Kids, Sex, Parents and Intimacy: Nice to know - FML

Nice to know

By Gemma - 06/01/2012 23:16 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, my mother thought it would be a good idea to tell me that I was conceived on an airplane toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 732

You deserved it 3 080

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

TMI

By ew. - 17/08/2010 04:28 - Canada

Spicy

Today, I learned that I was conceived on a public bus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 298

You deserved it 4 860

By jared77 - 02/08/2011 16:26 - United States

Spicy

Today, my mom decided to give me a bloodcurdlingly graphic sex talk. On a plane. I'm 23. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 759

You deserved it 2 875

By Anonymous - 04/09/2010 19:16 - United States

Today, I was on a plane when I suddenly felt the need to use the toilet. I didn't make it in time and I had to spend the remainder of my trip in soiled clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 852

You deserved it 16 270

By GeorgiaBOYY - 04/01/2010 17:40 - United States

Today, while using the bathroom on an airplane, someone walked in on me wiping my butt. That person just so happened to be the stranger I was sitting next to. It was an 8 hour flight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 167

You deserved it 8 195

Creeped out

By boardman - 25/05/2009 02:17 - United States

Spicy

Today, I found out my parents joined the mile-high club. While I was on the plane. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 470

You deserved it 4 974

You sure this is the right time?

By KidCudi227 - 19/07/2011 05:42 - United States

Spicy

Today, my mom gave me the "birds and the bees" talk, while she was taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 837

You deserved it 3 395

By Anonymous - 22/06/2012 14:11 - United States

Today, I went on a long flight. I was fortunate enough to sit next to a great girl. However, she must have thought I was not so great, because she moved to the empty seat across the aisle. Next to my dad. Who then told stories about how I always get motion sickness on airplanes. I then threw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 750

You deserved it 3 729

By mile high clubber - 14/07/2013 10:41 - United States - Bensalem

Spicy

Today, while on the airplane, the cute girl next to me and I instantly hit it off. When I excused myself to the bathroom, I must have given her the wrong impression. She wanted to join the mile high club; I just wanted to take a crap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 169

You deserved it 13 685

The talk

By airplanes-suck - 21/08/2009 00:20 - United States

Today, I went on a plane and was sitting next to a mom with her 12-year-oldish daughter. Apparently, they decided to have "The talk." On the plane, right next to me. I heard everything, and actually learned new things. I'm 35. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 327

You deserved it 6 682

Smells like Toddler Spirit

By anon - 06/03/2017 00:00

Today, a toddler threw up on my backpack mid-flight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 618

You deserved it 381

Next

Top comments

kjcamaro3 5

Saturday 7 January 2012 7:44

Does that make you a member of the mile high club?

omfg_creepers 8

Saturday 7 January 2012 7:45

There's not much room in those bathrooms even for one person. Are your parents contortionists?

Comments

Beareyouseae 3

Sunday 8 January 2012 6:07

Your mom should've flushed.

dukeunidude 4

Sunday 8 January 2012 8:36

Today I took a huge crap in an airplane, it turned out to be my baby. FML

nvo 6

Sunday 8 January 2012 8:37

Which proves she was a hot chick - at least before she got knocked up with you. Kinda sweet that she trusts you with that information now ... i guess you're officially grown up

dukeunidude 4

Sunday 8 January 2012 8:38

Don't you get free flights? Maybe only on SWISS air?

somewhatlucky 1

Sunday 8 January 2012 10:23

pics or it didn't happen

sknhdchick 4

Sunday 8 January 2012 12:37

At least you WERE conceived. Think of all those poor little swimmers that didn't make it.

dodzin 9

Sunday 8 January 2012 14:20

Be proud of your parents

gabbyknight1 0

Sunday 8 January 2012 17:56

Must have been a quickie

Starstruckluv 4

Monday 9 January 2012 5:26

At least it's a great story to tell from everyone who was born in a hospital

Knarf_fml 10

Monday 9 January 2012 13:46

You're the first Mile High Baby I've ever heard about! Congrats

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Keywords

Love Cheating Money Relatable Work My ex Jealousy Health Accident ADHD Medication Weather Snow Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts

The Top

Today, I had my first job interview and didn't have much of an appetite because of the nerves, so I grabbed a brownie that my roommate had left in the fridge and ate it on the train ride in to the city. About 20 minutes into my interview, I was so stoned I couldn't speak. FML

I agree, your life sucks 202 590

You deserved it 51 964

Today, I got into an argument with my boyfriend, who recently had to move away, about not calling me enough. Apparently his moving had meant that we were now taking a break, he just forgot to talk it over with me. He still wants to visit, and keep the relationship in bed alive though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 669

You deserved it 4 364

The Top

Today, my husband and I were starting to get freaky. He was rubbing himself on my lady parts and I looked over to my side where my dog was intensely following my man’s junk with her eyes. I laughed so hard I farted, peed myself, and broke a cup in under 5 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 982

You deserved it 515

Today, I was watching TV when a Dentyne gum commercial came on and stated that the average person spends more than 20,000 minutes kissing. I've spent less than three. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 332

You deserved it 6 080

Today, I asked my boyfriend where he went to lunch. He said he went to Wendy's. I teased him and asked if he got tired of eating burgers and Frosty's all the time. His response? "What? No, I mean at Wendy's. You know, the hot girl from work?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 256

You deserved it 6 581

Today, my girlfriend of 3 years broke up with me because I added an old high school friend on Facebook. She claims this person is getting in the middle of our relationship. I haven't talked to him in years, and he lives across the country. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 913

You deserved it 167

Today, while at a boring lecture, I heard some people behind me whispering and laughing. I turned around, wondering what was so funny, which made them laugh even more. I then realised it looked like I'd been giving my pen a blowjob for the last 10 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 974

You deserved it 35 663

Today, in an attempt to save money on waxing, I bought Veet hair removal cream. I also discovered it has the same effect on carpets. Now I have to pay for a replacement. So much for saving money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 265

You deserved it 13 912