Intimacy: Nice!

Nice!

By BigPurplePresent - 28/07/2009 13:34 - South Africa

Today, I was really upset after work, so I tearfully asked my boyfriend to bring something over to cheer me up when he visited later. An hour or so later he arrived, having bought me a brand new large purple dildo to "brighten my mood." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 074

You deserved it 18 142

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Same thing different taste

By csgocockblock - 27/07/2016 17:26 - United States - Jenks

Today, when I got home from work I was pretty "in the mood" so I put on some cute undies and a tank top and went to get my boyfriends attention, he was so into his new computer game all I got was a half smile and a pat on the head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 452

You deserved it 2 729

By -___- - 29/09/2013 19:46 - United States - Winfield

Today, I sent my boyfriend a text asking him to come over a little later and have some "fun" with me. He texted back, "WTF babe? Breaking Bad's on tonight. You got a dildo, fucking use it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 791

You deserved it 27 697

By Anonymous - 23/03/2013 15:21 - Norway - Trondheim

Today, I went to the airport after saying goodbye to my, for some reason, giggling boyfriend. I learnt why he was so cheerful when I opened my purse in front of the guards, only to find pink-furry handcuffs, and a huge dildo. They pretended not to know what it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 356

You deserved it 6 843

Snuggle up

By addictedtofml - 24/02/2009 07:31 - United States

Today, I called my boyfriend crying to tell him I had the most terrible day. He said I should come over, and he would make me feel better. I said I just want to snuggle, and I was impressed with his sincerity. Then he said, "Can we snuggle... with my dick in you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 819

You deserved it 19 986

Good one

By Anonymous - 16/12/2012 00:06 - United Kingdom - London

Today, on the way out to buy groceries, my boyfriend asked if I'd like him to buy some of my favourite flowers. Happy with his rare show of affection, I said yes. When he returned, he gave me a bag of our usual brand of flour and laughed hysterically in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 308

You deserved it 4 391

By "BunnysKitty" - 15/09/2017 23:15

Today, per my boyfriend's request, I bought some lingerie. He got so excited when he saw me, he ripped it off me right away. After we were done he used it to clean up. I essentially bought a $40 cum rag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 062

You deserved it 897

By pride? what's that? :( - 01/09/2012 00:23 - Belgium - Leuven

Today, I was feeling depressed and got very, very drunk. This evening, I was feeling equally desperate, and ended up having to get my special dildo removed from my asshole at the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 806

You deserved it 40 509

Red-handed

By Anonymous - 08/08/2023 22:00 - United States - Wolcott

Today, I was really excited to fuck my boyfriend when I got home from work. When I got home, I found him excited and… fucking someone from work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 749

You deserved it 199

So frustrating!

By Justawoman - 04/06/2014 15:52 - Denmark - Aarhus

Today, my boyfriend complained all day about being bored, so wanting to cheer him up, I put on some sexy clothes and went to his house. I got on his bed in my underwear and called him over. He quickly decided he'd rather play Diablo for the next five hours instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 580

You deserved it 8 640

By Anonymous - 02/09/2012 13:38 - United States - Baltimore

Today, I was showing my boyfriend some stuff I bought that day: a new thong and a bag of his favorite brand of peanuts. He was more excited about the peanuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 317

You deserved it 5 136

kawa_fml 0

Tuesday 28 July 2009 20:01

aw, that's nice of him!

Dfeline 2

Tuesday 28 July 2009 20:06

Ever considered that he was trying to make you laugh, consequently brightening your mood? Be glad. Most FML boyfriend's would just tell you to stop whining and make them a sandwich.

Comments

Aciliveth 5

Tuesday 28 July 2009 21:24

He has a sense of humour, unlike yourself. Besides, what bad boyfriend would buy their partner a sex toy? Most men are completely terrified of toys because they think it "replaces them". YDI for not having a sense of humour.

letitbe56 0

Wednesday 29 July 2009 0:55

Do they seriously think that? Boys, skin-to-skin contact releases oxytocin, aka "the love hormone." It makes sex better, and plays an active role in the forming of pair-bonds. That alone should tell you why no toy can replace a real person.

crazy_life44 0

Tuesday 28 July 2009 21:29

You didn't specify what to bring over! lol

papertigers_fml 0

Tuesday 28 July 2009 21:31

you sound whiny. but your boyfriend sounds awesome.

Imawhalerider 0

Tuesday 28 July 2009 21:34

Break up with him and take the *****

akkid17 0

Tuesday 28 July 2009 21:42

Yes! that guy is awesome. i guess you'll think twice about being a whiny bitch lol

hossgray 0

Tuesday 28 July 2009 21:44

To you not like purple or something?

FoundManyLemons 0

Tuesday 28 July 2009 21:44

"Today I was sad and my boyfriend brought me a gift. FML" WTF? YDI in a good way.

lich_fml 0

Tuesday 28 July 2009 21:44

oh jeez. get over it.

hazelwolfeyes 0

Tuesday 28 July 2009 21:50

wow...you consider this a FML? what is it with chicks n thinking their life is ****** over the gestures their boyfriends do? THAT would have made my day. hell my week... if he has this kinda sense of humor n you dont enjoy it, why the hell are you even with him? let him go so he can get a girl who actually will enjoy the things he will do for her... enjoy it while lasts...im sure its not going to last long... FYL for being a whiner... FHISL for being with you... he gets tons of brownie points...hes too awesome...

CupidSparrow 0

Tuesday 28 July 2009 21:54

Specification is the key to a happy relationship with a man. YDI for not being specific. Romantic dreams of him knowing exactly what you want without actually telling him are just that: dreams. You can't blame the guy; at least he did bring SOMETHING, and technically something that could potentially put you in a better mood if you let it.