Intimacy: Nice!

Nice!

By BigPurplePresent - 28/07/2009 13:34 - South Africa

Today, I was really upset after work, so I tearfully asked my boyfriend to bring something over to cheer me up when he visited later. An hour or so later he arrived, having bought me a brand new large purple dildo to "brighten my mood." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 073

You deserved it 18 141

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

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Same thing different taste

By csgocockblock - 27/07/2016 17:26 - United States - Jenks

Today, when I got home from work I was pretty "in the mood" so I put on some cute undies and a tank top and went to get my boyfriends attention, he was so into his new computer game all I got was a half smile and a pat on the head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 447

You deserved it 2 727

By -___- - 29/09/2013 19:46 - United States - Winfield

Today, I sent my boyfriend a text asking him to come over a little later and have some "fun" with me. He texted back, "WTF babe? Breaking Bad's on tonight. You got a dildo, fucking use it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 782

You deserved it 27 696

By Anonymous - 23/03/2013 15:21 - Norway - Trondheim

Today, I went to the airport after saying goodbye to my, for some reason, giggling boyfriend. I learnt why he was so cheerful when I opened my purse in front of the guards, only to find pink-furry handcuffs, and a huge dildo. They pretended not to know what it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 354

You deserved it 6 839

Snuggle up

By addictedtofml - 24/02/2009 07:31 - United States

Today, I called my boyfriend crying to tell him I had the most terrible day. He said I should come over, and he would make me feel better. I said I just want to snuggle, and I was impressed with his sincerity. Then he said, "Can we snuggle... with my dick in you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 812

You deserved it 19 982

Good one

By Anonymous - 16/12/2012 00:06 - United Kingdom - London

Today, on the way out to buy groceries, my boyfriend asked if I'd like him to buy some of my favourite flowers. Happy with his rare show of affection, I said yes. When he returned, he gave me a bag of our usual brand of flour and laughed hysterically in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 305

You deserved it 4 391

By "BunnysKitty" - 15/09/2017 23:15

Today, per my boyfriend's request, I bought some lingerie. He got so excited when he saw me, he ripped it off me right away. After we were done he used it to clean up. I essentially bought a $40 cum rag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 061

You deserved it 894

By pride? what's that? :( - 01/09/2012 00:23 - Belgium - Leuven

Today, I was feeling depressed and got very, very drunk. This evening, I was feeling equally desperate, and ended up having to get my special dildo removed from my asshole at the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 804

You deserved it 40 499

Red-handed

By Anonymous - 08/08/2023 22:00 - United States - Wolcott

Today, I was really excited to fuck my boyfriend when I got home from work. When I got home, I found him excited and… fucking someone from work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 725

You deserved it 192

So frustrating!

By Justawoman - 04/06/2014 15:52 - Denmark - Aarhus

Today, my boyfriend complained all day about being bored, so wanting to cheer him up, I put on some sexy clothes and went to his house. I got on his bed in my underwear and called him over. He quickly decided he'd rather play Diablo for the next five hours instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 578

You deserved it 8 638

By Anonymous - 02/09/2012 13:38 - United States - Baltimore

Today, I was showing my boyfriend some stuff I bought that day: a new thong and a bag of his favorite brand of peanuts. He was more excited about the peanuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 313

You deserved it 5 136

kawa_fml 0

Tuesday 28 July 2009 20:01

aw, that's nice of him!

Dfeline 2

Tuesday 28 July 2009 20:06

Ever considered that he was trying to make you laugh, consequently brightening your mood? Be glad. Most FML boyfriend's would just tell you to stop whining and make them a sandwich.

Comments

ONYA 0

Tuesday 28 July 2009 22:02

don't listen to these fools. That really wasn't cool for him to do and I'd be extremely hurt FYL

Finnboghi 0

Tuesday 28 July 2009 22:21

Girl, you have issues. If you really think sex is so terrible that you would be hurt by the very suggestion of it, you don't have a hope in hell of ever having a meaningful relationship. On topic, this is scientifically the best possible present for you; if you have a sense of humour and laugh about it, then you'll be cheered up quickly. If you and him use it together, you'll strengthen your bond with him, which releases hormones to calm and relax you. If you use it on your own, your ****** causes such a rush of endorphins that you can't help but feel good.

IheartCoffee27 0

Tuesday 28 July 2009 22:21

What's there to be hurt about?

Tubasaurus 0

Wednesday 29 July 2009 0:04

We need another WHHAAAAmbulance over here!

lyssaboo 0

Wednesday 29 July 2009 4:57

lol

mike1921 0

Thursday 30 July 2009 1:29

ONYA, if her mom died or something (this seemed to just be a bad day at work) and he did this, than maybe that'd be justified. I don't think it would unless he was trying to get laid because somethin genuinely horrible happened. He isn't getting laid, and the odds are what happened was minor.

greenfairy0 0

Tuesday 28 July 2009 22:04

yeesh, your bf actually went out to buy you a *****, could have been worse, he could have gotten you a flavored condom instead...

girlnamedkris 0

Tuesday 28 July 2009 22:12

wait how is that a bad thing

Rdnckmuffdver02 0

Tuesday 28 July 2009 22:13

Atleast it was a "Brand New One"...OP YDI that could of been fun for both of you! But what the hell you probably cried again over not approving of his gesture. Next time call one of your girlfriends, she might tell you to use the *****.

smiller0789 3

Tuesday 28 July 2009 22:14

Would've made me laugh...

sabrinasuzanne 0

Tuesday 28 July 2009 22:15

I would be THRILLED! Send your boyfriend my way.

missIrene 6

Sunday 27 February 2011 23:38

I know right?

Eelusive 0

Tuesday 28 July 2009 22:17

Did it work?

portablecupid 3

Tuesday 28 July 2009 22:18

I fail to see the FML here.

zee209 0

Tuesday 28 July 2009 22:35

Not an FML...Do you not have a sense of humor? He seems like a very awesome boyfriend to me! He could have told you to suck it up, not visited you OR brought you anything. I'm pretty sure he was trying to make you laugh by buying you a *****. It would have made me laugh. So I guess YDI for having no sense of humor and probably being a bitch to him.