Sex, Weird and Intimacy: Non sequitur - FML

Non sequitur

By lisacasabonita - 12/11/2010 16:31 - United States

Spicy

Today, while at dinner, I told my boyfriend that I wished he liked sushi. He replied, "I wish you liked anal." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 213

You deserved it 42 493

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 19/04/2010 20:36 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me for the first time. He followed it with, "Want to try anal?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 677

You deserved it 9 735

By not impressed - 09/10/2015 18:27 - Canada - Nanaimo

Spicy

Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He replied, dead serious, "That's nice and all, but anal speaks louder than words." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 326

You deserved it 4 606

You what?

By charliesangel123 - 21/02/2010 17:16 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I was waiting downstairs at my boyfriend's house as he got ready to go. His mom came over and said she was so glad her son had met me, that I made him really happy. I smiled thinking how nice that was of her to say. She then continued, "Still, he tells me anal is a no?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 499

You deserved it 3 716

What what?

By Anonymous - 12/04/2022 16:00

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend stuck his finger in my butt and I liked it, but I can’t ever tell him that or he’ll get that smug look on his face like, “I told you so, let’s have anal now.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 501

You deserved it 1 452

By Anonymous - 29/12/2010 11:25 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me for the very first time in three years. Apparently, all it took was anal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 679

You deserved it 13 291

Is it true?

By analgirl - 09/11/2014 13:31 - France - Paris

Spicy

Today, I found out the only reason my boyfriend asked me out is because he thought I "looked like a girl who'd be into anal". FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 142

You deserved it 4 411

By Picaresque - 26/02/2009 17:57 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try anal sex. When he was done, I turned around to see him holding a strap-on with a smile on his face and said 'Now, do me'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 285 923

You deserved it 68 184

The best method!

By Anonymous - 04/01/2020 18:00

Spicy

Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 978

You deserved it 951

Nice try, chief

By Anonymous - 04/04/2011 01:46 - United States

Spicy

Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 975

You deserved it 15 185

By KaiyaOtaku1 - 14/07/2014 23:48 - United States - Seattle

Today, while eating dinner with my boyfriend, I look up to see him staring at me, smiling. Hoping he wanted to say how lucky of a man he was who loved me deeply, I asked him what he was thinking. He replied, "You can't smell that yet? It was a noxious one." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 873

You deserved it 6 655

Next

Top comments

mike3775 35

Friday 12 November 2010 19:02

Nice to see you have a good relationship and can talk things out in a civilized manner Seriously though, this was hilarious on his part I'm sure he was joking like I do with my wife when she nitpicks me

Mpsteve13 7

Friday 12 November 2010 19:01

boyfriend ftw

Comments

justmyluck1212 0

Friday 12 November 2010 19:41

who the **** likes anal? that shit tears ur shit up

luna_y_mar 0

Saturday 13 November 2010 8:51

I agree anal is nasty and I don't kno how ppl can like it. it's downright disturbing.

skb8769 0

Friday 12 November 2010 19:42

that's a valid counter point I do believe

SexyGamerNerd110 8

Friday 12 November 2010 19:44

that sounds just like my ex and I

1personinthiswor 0

Friday 12 November 2010 21:45

Ex for good reason then. lol

elmorous 0

Saturday 13 November 2010 4:21

I think you're sexy 56. Anal or not.

elmorous 0

Saturday 13 November 2010 4:34

sorry mods. seemed funny at the time

ohgodwtf 0

Friday 12 November 2010 19:45

Bs dum Tsssh!

panda_chick 2

Friday 12 November 2010 19:52

Oo BURN!

notsoluckypup 12

Friday 12 November 2010 19:55

sure puts it in perspective dnt it? haha

secrets15 0

Friday 12 November 2010 19:56

wow what a great bf u got there lol

GuitarGod66six 0

Friday 12 November 2010 19:57

Poor guy.

hashoahxxx 0

Friday 12 November 2010 20:01

YES!!!

boobahs 0

Friday 12 November 2010 20:05

lmfao

TaylorTotsYumm 10

Friday 12 November 2010 21:39

I regret looking at your picture.):

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, my cat got his head stuck in the handle of a plastic bag while snooping. Unfortunately, it was the bag I use to put his turds in after scooping them from the litter tray. With the bag trapped around his neck, he got spooked, then ran around the house, spreading turds from the bag as he fled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 108

You deserved it 546

Today, according to my husband's brother, he only went on a second date with me all those years ago because I gave him head on our first date. His father and stepmother supported this claim as well. I can’t decide if I’m more embarrassed they know, or furious that he told them something so crude. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 134

You deserved it 637

The Top

Today, I walked out to my car to see a broken window, a bunch of stuff missing, egg shells, and a note that read "stop banging my boyfriend". I haven't had anyone in over a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 091

You deserved it 3 083

Today, my dad insisted on having a family movie night. He chose the movies Jaws and Mayday. I'm going on a diving expedition tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 992

You deserved it 2 924

Today, my husband shit himself a little during sex, but tried to keep going because he was "so close" and didn’t want to ruin the orgasm. I, of course, shoved him away but it was already down my leg and had stained our cream bedsheets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 441

You deserved it 192

Today, I enjoy reading this site and other people's suffering just to feel better about my own life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 395

You deserved it 8 212

Today, my coworker and I have been sharing the same girlfriend for over a year. She doesn’t know that we each know about the other, but now it’s all over. She blocked both of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 409

You deserved it 940

Today, my husband and I stopped at a scenic overlook on top of a mountain. I looked down and noticed several small shells and excitedly called him over. I said, "I can't believe I found fossils here!" The moment it came out of my mouth, I realized they were pistachio shells. So did he. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 305

You deserved it 25 349