Intimacy: Not now!

Not now!

By Victim - 27/06/2009 13:47 - United States

Today, at lifeguard class, I played a victim while my peers strapped me to the backboard in the water. When I was strapped down, I got wood in a wet swimsuit. My hands were strapped down so I could do nothing to hide it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 451

You deserved it 10 091

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
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Same thing different taste

By Higgs - 02/06/2009 19:10 - United States

Today, I went to the pool. When I hit the water the top of my swimsuit came off so I tried to put it on underwater. The lifeguard thought I was drowning and pulled me out in front of everyone. Topless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 150

You deserved it 6 231

Baywatch

By Jenn - 16/12/2016 00:50

Today, in my lifeguarding course, I had to pull a 200-pound boy out of the pool in an exercise to practice using our legs when lifting. I, being only 90 pounds, tried pulling and ended up falling into the pool, landing with my lady parts on his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 234

You deserved it 841

By Anonymous - 11/06/2011 00:14 - United States

Today, I was swimming at the water park, when out of nowhere a lifeguard bombed into the pool, grabbed me, and hauled me to the surface, running his hands over my chest in the process. Apparently, the way I swim makes it look like I'm in my drowning death throes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 446

You deserved it 7 721

By "mbrider" - 12/08/2017 16:00

Today, I saved a woman from drowning at a pool where I lifeguard, but when I got her out of the water she started screaming about sexual assault. Apparently I accidentally brushed her breasts when pulling her up and out of the water. She wants to sue me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 898

You deserved it 269

By Anonymous - 31/07/2014 05:00 - Australia - Darlinghurst

Today, a new session started for my swimming squad. I walked down to the pool, tripped over a stray equipment bag, and belly-flopped into the pool in front of everyone, fully clothed. I'm the coach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 086

You deserved it 5 105

By Anonymous - 29/05/2012 18:43 - United States - Springfield

Today, while taking part in a lifeguarding exercise, I was supposed to "drown" to get another guard to save me. After all was done, my boss called me into his office and screamed at me for "drowning the wrong way," and threatening our reputation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 366

You deserved it 2 177

Looking cool

By Anonymous - 18/05/2014 04:48 - United States

Today, while lifeguarding, I slipped and fell from my chair and onto the cement. Embarrassed and actually quite hurt, I tried to climb back up to the chair, but it tipped. I fell half onto the cement half into the pool, just before the chair landed on top of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 866

You deserved it 6 084

By Anonymous - 22/05/2010 00:19 - United States

Today, at the pool, I tried to impress the hot lifeguard by doing the perfect dive. Afterward, I realized my shorts were floating through the water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 695

You deserved it 12 514

Sick moves, bro

By Fish - 19/03/2009 15:47 - United Arab Emirates

Today, we were hanging around the pool with a couple of friends and a crush of mine. Thinking I would be able to impress her with a well-performed dive off the diving board, I went up and attempted my best dive. I slipped as I jumped, hitting my head on the board. I had to be saved by the lifeguard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 301

You deserved it 55 376

By mytoehurts - 26/06/2015 13:09 - Canada - Ayr

Today, I was at my lifeguarding exam. Everything was going well until I went to 'save' someone and slipped and bellyflopped into the pool. I broke my toe, and the person I was supposed to save ended up saving me instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 425

You deserved it 2 883

shotgunner2 0

Saturday 27 June 2009 19:16

hahaha i hope the people tying you down were chicks in bikinis

seb12992 0

Saturday 27 June 2009 19:16

Ouch. Were you being strapped down by a group of hot girls?

Comments

Person1233 12

Sunday 28 June 2009 6:07

How could you call him a perv? -.- Guys get boners at random times a lot. I once got a boner while eating a cheeseburger... Unless something is wrong with me O_O

sundance 0

Sunday 28 June 2009 6:26

Oh, man. When i took my guard class the boy i was strapping down got a boner twice. I had to do it again the next day, bet you can guess what happened. Everyone saw him.

toothdecay7758 0

Sunday 28 June 2009 7:15

Wow, how old was he?

PollySighDevil 0

Sunday 28 June 2009 6:55

There doesn't necessarily have to be a reason... sometimes it just happens, especially when your younger

squigglyshark 0

Sunday 28 June 2009 7:43

That's kinky

fantasyflamz 0

Sunday 28 June 2009 8:24

FoundManyLemons 0

Sunday 28 June 2009 8:37

hahahaha

doof_fisch 2

Sunday 28 June 2009 8:40

I bet you were thinking of doing the (ahem!) BREAST stroke with one of your peers.

crvenazvezda 0

Sunday 28 June 2009 8:44

fyl man, at least if there were chicks they might be intrigued by your size ;)

yeah_oops 2

Sunday 28 June 2009 8:59

yeah, i had the same thing happen, and my girlfriend was one of the ones doing the strapping. she thought it was funny and laughed at me afterwards. we leave the hands and arms floating free during the strapping procedure, though, not tied down. you try to just lay limp while your partners work around you at strapping you, but at the same time you realize that your hand is bumping against something very soft, and the girl strapping you in is about chest-deep in the water. next thought is "don't get a--crap, too late..."