Love: Not so anal retentive then… - FML

Not so anal retentive then…

By Anonymous - 03/02/2017 22:00 - United Kingdom - Hull

Today, after finally breaking up with my controlling girlfriend, she took a shit in my socks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 351

You deserved it 742

St. Patrick's Day: Shamrocks and Tribulations
Green anecdotes of jealousy, full of shamrocks and pints, for a memorable St. Patrick's Day! More…

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Same thing different taste

By Wronged - 21/09/2009 10:53 - Singapore

Today, my girlfriend decided to break up with me because she found a bra in my cupboard. It was hers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 530

You deserved it 3 575

By skrewedguy - 08/12/2011 03:33 - United States

Today, my girlfriend left me. Knowing that I am a germaphobe, she took all of my cleaning supplies and spread mud and trash everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 695

You deserved it 6 625

That one weird friend

By MsSmellyFeet - 16/11/2022 04:00 - United States - Bedford

Today, my friend and I went back to my house after a gym session. After I took my shoes and socks off in the foyer, I told her to wait while I brought some post-workout smoothies. I came back to find her sniffing my socks. She stared back at me for a bit, said, "Uh, catch ya later", and left with my socks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 880

You deserved it 138

Morning surprise

By JayBausch - 17/08/2009 20:48 - United States

Today, I went to retrieve my sneakers that my wife made me leave outside the door of our hotel room. Somebody had shat in one of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 765

You deserved it 7 066

By CHStennis_4 - 03/09/2011 04:48 - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Because she farted, and thought it was "too awkward". FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 315

You deserved it 3 867

By whysheheartless - 03/11/2009 07:24 - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. By making out with her new boyfriend in front of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 903

You deserved it 3 067

Dodged a bullet

By Anonymous - 22/10/2022 04:00

Today, I went through the stuff that I'd left at my ex’s place and started unpacking it. I found a pair of another girl's panties. We broke up a little over a week ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 766

You deserved it 165

By Anonymous - 22/04/2009 20:15 - Canada

Today, as soon as I got home, my girlfriend was waiting for me at the door. She told me she was breaking up with me, the reason? She found a girl's shirt in my closet and that she didn't need a cheating boyfriend. That shirt was mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 448

You deserved it 12 488

Santa or Satan?

By Cat poo - 23/12/2024 16:00 - United States - Smithtown

Today, I woke up, put on my fuzzy socks, walked down my hallway, and stepped in cat vomit. I took off my now wet socks, continued walking down the hallway, and stepped barefoot in cat shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 425

You deserved it 201

By Anonymous - 03/12/2012 11:53 - Canada

Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm breaking up with her because she's very abusive. After a couple of seconds of awkward silence, she kicked me in the nuts and ran away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 098

You deserved it 4 196

Next

Top comments

chudun 18

Friday 3 February 2017 22:10

Sock her ass, she sounds like a piece of shit.

cheeology 22

Friday 3 February 2017 22:07

how does one shit in a sock? I think you need to fight fire with fire and shit on her door step OP, add glitter for a nice touch.

Comments

niallo 23

Friday 3 February 2017 23:43

If that's all it cost you, you did alright. You hear horror stories about some of these bad breakups. Count yourself lucky and move on. Also, change the locks so she doesn't try and do it again.

_fakebelieve 9

Friday 3 February 2017 23:50

That shit socks!

squizzlebee 19

Friday 3 February 2017 23:55

That's some impressive aim

dabomsht123 3

Saturday 4 February 2017 0:18

Take the shit-filled socks stick em in a brown lunch bag put em on her step and light that ****** on fire. Lol

19foxy81 8

Saturday 4 February 2017 0:21

Sounds like a shitty situation :(

Devolution 8

Saturday 4 February 2017 0:55

How did she...nvm

foreverxxi 0

Saturday 4 February 2017 1:04

Good riddance. Now what you need to do is find a pair of gloves and smear it on her car.

RichardPencil 30

Saturday 4 February 2017 1:43

You mean she filled several socks with one turd each or did she pop a squat in your sock drawer. In either case, that's excellent control.

mitch2161998 6

Saturday 4 February 2017 1:45

sounds like a shitty situation.

mermaidgirle 12

Saturday 4 February 2017 14:44

How about no

anthony99 14

Saturday 4 February 2017 5:07

Fake, everyone knows girls don't poop

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The Top

Today, the door handle on my car broke. Now I have to roll down the window and use the outside handle to get out. Not only is this annoying, but my girlfriend gets irrationally angry every time, and rants about how trashy it looks. I can't fucking help that the handle broke, babe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 379

You deserved it 124

Today, my girlfriend told me that her fear of PDA has gotten so bad, she doesn't think she'll even be able to kiss me on our wedding day. Her parents are going be there and she can't imagine showing affection in front of other people, let alone her parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 639

You deserved it 3 224

The Top

Today, I found out I have hypersomnia, which is basically being constantly tired. I've been treated with depression for years because the symptoms are similar. I've failed out of college three times because of this. Now, I think I really am depressed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 546

You deserved it 3 475

Today, I stepped out of the house for some fresh air. It was still dark out, so imagine my horror when I accidentally stepped on a frog. It squealed for a split second before being crushed beneath my uncovered foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 428

You deserved it 6 804

Today, it's my birthday, and my present is that my mom is coming over to see me so that she can borrow three hundred dollars. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 712

You deserved it 3 398

Today, while at a restaurant with my boyfriend, a piece of ice got stuck in my throat. I couldn't get his attention until after it melted because he was busy checking in on foursquare. When he finally noticed my freaking out and I told him what had happened, he laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 499

You deserved it 6 410

Today, there was a wasp tangled in my bed sheets. I found this out when I rolled over it in my sleep, and it stung me on the lower back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 929

You deserved it 74

Today, a drunk driver drove his car through my mailbox. He got pissed, started yelling, and threatened to sue me for "putting the mailbox in the middle of the road". If my front lawn is a road, I'm going to have some serious issues. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 398

You deserved it 2 763