Love: Not so anal retentive then… - FML

Not so anal retentive then…

By Anonymous - 03/02/2017 22:00 - United Kingdom - Hull

Today, after finally breaking up with my controlling girlfriend, she took a shit in my socks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 351

You deserved it 743

St. Patrick's Day: Shamrocks and Tribulations
Green anecdotes of jealousy, full of shamrocks and pints, for a memorable St. Patrick's Day! More…

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Same thing different taste

By Wronged - 21/09/2009 10:53 - Singapore

Today, my girlfriend decided to break up with me because she found a bra in my cupboard. It was hers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 531

You deserved it 3 575

By skrewedguy - 08/12/2011 03:33 - United States

Today, my girlfriend left me. Knowing that I am a germaphobe, she took all of my cleaning supplies and spread mud and trash everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 695

You deserved it 6 625

That one weird friend

By MsSmellyFeet - 16/11/2022 04:00 - United States - Bedford

Today, my friend and I went back to my house after a gym session. After I took my shoes and socks off in the foyer, I told her to wait while I brought some post-workout smoothies. I came back to find her sniffing my socks. She stared back at me for a bit, said, "Uh, catch ya later", and left with my socks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 880

You deserved it 138

Morning surprise

By JayBausch - 17/08/2009 20:48 - United States

Today, I went to retrieve my sneakers that my wife made me leave outside the door of our hotel room. Somebody had shat in one of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 765

You deserved it 7 066

By CHStennis_4 - 03/09/2011 04:48 - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Because she farted, and thought it was "too awkward". FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 316

You deserved it 3 867

By whysheheartless - 03/11/2009 07:24 - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. By making out with her new boyfriend in front of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 904

You deserved it 3 067

Dodged a bullet

By Anonymous - 22/10/2022 04:00

Today, I went through the stuff that I'd left at my ex’s place and started unpacking it. I found a pair of another girl's panties. We broke up a little over a week ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 768

You deserved it 167

By Anonymous - 22/04/2009 20:15 - Canada

Today, as soon as I got home, my girlfriend was waiting for me at the door. She told me she was breaking up with me, the reason? She found a girl's shirt in my closet and that she didn't need a cheating boyfriend. That shirt was mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 448

You deserved it 12 488

Santa or Satan?

By Cat poo - 23/12/2024 16:00 - United States - Smithtown

Today, I woke up, put on my fuzzy socks, walked down my hallway, and stepped in cat vomit. I took off my now wet socks, continued walking down the hallway, and stepped barefoot in cat shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 425

You deserved it 206

By Anonymous - 03/12/2012 11:53 - Canada

Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm breaking up with her because she's very abusive. After a couple of seconds of awkward silence, she kicked me in the nuts and ran away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 098

You deserved it 4 198

Next

Top comments

chudun 18

Friday 3 February 2017 22:10

Sock her ass, she sounds like a piece of shit.

cheeology 22

Friday 3 February 2017 22:07

how does one shit in a sock? I think you need to fight fire with fire and shit on her door step OP, add glitter for a nice touch.

Comments

niallo 23

Friday 3 February 2017 23:43

If that's all it cost you, you did alright. You hear horror stories about some of these bad breakups. Count yourself lucky and move on. Also, change the locks so she doesn't try and do it again.

_fakebelieve 9

Friday 3 February 2017 23:50

That shit socks!

squizzlebee 19

Friday 3 February 2017 23:55

That's some impressive aim

dabomsht123 3

Saturday 4 February 2017 0:18

Take the shit-filled socks stick em in a brown lunch bag put em on her step and light that ****** on fire. Lol

19foxy81 8

Saturday 4 February 2017 0:21

Sounds like a shitty situation :(

Devolution 8

Saturday 4 February 2017 0:55

How did she...nvm

foreverxxi 0

Saturday 4 February 2017 1:04

Good riddance. Now what you need to do is find a pair of gloves and smear it on her car.

RichardPencil 30

Saturday 4 February 2017 1:43

You mean she filled several socks with one turd each or did she pop a squat in your sock drawer. In either case, that's excellent control.

mitch2161998 6

Saturday 4 February 2017 1:45

sounds like a shitty situation.

mermaidgirle 12

Saturday 4 February 2017 14:44

How about no

anthony99 14

Saturday 4 February 2017 5:07

Fake, everyone knows girls don't poop

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The Top

Today, I thought I'd make my own coffee at home to save money. As I was grinding the beans, my flatmate's pet parrot decided to join the party and imitate the noise of the coffee grinder. For an hour. I ended up with a headache, a half-finished cup of coffee, and a parrot that now thinks it's a barista. FML

I agree, your life sucks 459

You deserved it 159

Today, all I wanted was stress-relief sex with the guy I sleep with. Instead, I was so exhausted from my day that he thought I wasn't into it and ended up just talking to me about what we're going to do after college. Trading a booty call for a meaningful and heartfelt discussion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 801

You deserved it 39 488

The Top

Today, I was fooling around with my girlfriend for the first time. She put her hand on my cock over my jeans and said, "Get hard for me." I was hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 204 593

You deserved it 32 072

Today, I was talking to a swimmer I just met. I saw a cute guy and whispered to her, "That guy is hot." She asked "Who?" I pointed at him. She turned to see him, then turned back to me and said "Ew, that's my brother." She went to him, whispered something. He turned around to see me and said, "EW." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 653

You deserved it 7 753

Today, I met a woman at a bar, and we went back to my place with her whispering many filthy things in my ear. Then my key broke inside the lock. It was 2 a.m. and freezing, and she was in a dress, I suggested a hotel, but she was now so cold and angry, she got back in our Uber which hadn't left yet and went home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 389

You deserved it 344

Today, my boyfriend fell asleep while still giving me oral sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 252

You deserved it 244

Today, I was telling my boyfriend I had fake orgasms all the time to piss him off. He replied, "That's OK, I'm f***ing three other girls." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 487

You deserved it 144 251

Today, as I worked the drive-through at Wendy's, the hottest girl from my math class pulled up to the window. As I handed her the drink, I asked her what she thought of our math test today. She screamed, "How did you know I had a math test, you creep!", threw the drink at me, and drove off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92 119

You deserved it 7 248