Miscellaneous: Nuts

Nuts

By dieders - 21/11/2016 06:34 - United Kingdom

Today, I woke up and opened my curtains to see my gardener up a ladder in front of my window tending to the plants growing up the side of the wall. This would've been fine if his ballsack wasn't hanging out his shorts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 837

You deserved it 1 143

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Same thing different taste

By Sprinkles - 04/02/2015 07:44 - Australia

Today, I discovered my elderly neighbour likes to roam around his yard naked and wash his balls with the sprinkler. I'm never going to grab a snack in my kitchen again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 896

You deserved it 2 729

By Deconstructed - 19/05/2009 20:13 - United States

Today, my husband let me sleep in while he worked on the landscaping by our backyard pool. Ready for a shower, I stripped naked, opened the back door to let the dog out, and stepped out to ask him how it was going. Turns out he'd finally hired a landscaping crew. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 100

You deserved it 27 997

By Alexismaria - 23/10/2014 20:05 - United States

Today, I walked into the kitchen at the exact moment my uncle decided to bend over in short shorts. Apparently, his ballsack decided it needed extra room, because it dangled out of his pant leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 778

You deserved it 3 280

By Well okay then - 09/10/2016 17:12 - United States - Palmdale

Today, after letting the painters working on my house know that they're more than welcome to use my restroom, I walked outside only to find three of them pissing in my garden. One even aimed for my tomatoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 339

You deserved it 772

Avoidance issues

By ProAwkward - 18/06/2013 04:07 - United States - Grand Prairie

Today, as I was walking home, I noticed a man and a woman arguing in their driveway. To avoid an awkward situation, I crossed the street. I then had to walk past a creepy guy watering his plants in his underwear while looking directly at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 792

You deserved it 5 859

Freakshow

By iheartnjdevils - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my landlord sent tree cutters to take down a tree in our front yard. I didn't realize their job included walking around the house and gratuitously staring at me through the window as I dressed. My boyfriend won't complain because he's afraid our rent will go up in retaliation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 952

You deserved it 8 050

By Anonymous - 25/01/2011 02:33 - United States

Today, while at the urinal doing my business, my trousers fell all the way to the ground. As I bent down to pull them back up, my boss walked in the bathroom and thought I was mooning him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 957

You deserved it 3 813

By PeepShow - 06/08/2009 06:04 - United States

Today, it was just too hot. I stripped down and, being home alone, pranced around nude, lip synching and playing air guitar to some music. I was getting really into when I opened my eyes and looked out the window to see an old man with binoculars on his terrace. He wasn't birdwatching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 276

You deserved it 47 094

Bad boy!

By Carrie - 23/02/2021 21:30

Today, I was enjoying my dinner by my patio window when I spotted a cat roaming through my backyard. As I observed it explore my yard, I also watched as it climbed onto, then took a piss on the freshly clean clothes I had left to dry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 887

You deserved it 141

By cheddar - 20/07/2011 22:17 - United States

Today, I woke up feeling great. I opened up the blinds and looked out from my window just in time to see a man ripping my mailbox from the ground and sprinting away with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 446

You deserved it 2 639

magicdust95 31

Monday 21 November 2016 18:01

There's nothing like beginning the day with the sight of the sun high up in the sky and hanging ballsacks. Have a great day OP !

TacoTheDank 27

Monday 21 November 2016 18:10

Haha yes! I moderated this like two hours ago and it already has been accepted. It's a real FYL though, no one wants to see a ballsack hanging out...

Comments

extremereviews 26

Monday 21 November 2016 20:39

Does your chain hang low does it wobble does it glow

jbivens1992 17

Monday 21 November 2016 20:41

Oh my gosh...lol. As horrible as that probably was to experience...its also pretty funny.

RichardPencil 30

Monday 21 November 2016 22:40

I gotta know! Was he wearing really short shorts, or did he have a ridiculously long scrotum?

OhPuhleeze 23

Tuesday 22 November 2016 12:25

My thoughts exactly. I wanted to add Pics or it didn't happen..

JEHR 13

Monday 21 November 2016 22:54

There needs to be a PSA that your inseam should never be shorter than your TSL (total scrotal length), this is all too common.

cuz803 44

Monday 21 November 2016 23:07

Close the curtains, go back to sleep, and pretend that never happened. Have a good day OP

dieders 24

Monday 21 November 2016 23:12

Yeah I think that's needed ?

torrea 19

Tuesday 22 November 2016 4:35

Nothing like a cup of coffee and a ballsack in the morning to start your day.

donb23 23

Tuesday 22 November 2016 15:39

Shorts sounds like he was wearing briefs!!

whatshuman43 8

Tuesday 22 November 2016 17:31

This is my argument for men not wearing short shorts, people just don't understand until they experience it first hand, sorry op

dieders 24

Tuesday 22 November 2016 23:22

It really wasn't he best of sites I can assure you, for any time of the day

saffy66 34

Wednesday 23 November 2016 6:50

The most amazing part of this story is that it was warm enough somewhere in the UK for shorts to be worn.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I was walking to my car after grocery shopping when I dropped my heavy-ass bag, which then ripped. Everything spilled out, and while I was picking it up, a kind stranger ran over to help me… by accidentally stepping on and smashing my carton of eggs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 345

You deserved it 76

Today, I was called by my son's school. They said he'd been forging my signature and comments in his reading book. He didn't forge them. I don't know what's worse: my handwriting looking like a 6 year-old's, or being too cowardly to admit it. He has a week of lunch detention, but I still have my dignity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 391

You deserved it 115 804

The Top

Today, my demented little sister walked up to me and kicked me between the legs. I told my parents, but they just accusingly asked me what I did to provoke her. When I said, "Nothing", they accused me of lying. There is no justice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 130

You deserved it 3 481

Today, things began to get hot and heavy between my boyfriend and me. Suddenly, in a deep, sexy voice, he whispered, "God help me for what I'm about to do." Thinking it was just an odd manner of dirty talk, I mumbled about liking it. He then farted very loudly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 070

You deserved it 1 154

Today, I went to the grocery store where I work to pick up my pay check. After I got it, I headed back to the dorms to take a quick nap before Chemistry later. I woke up, and my check was gone. I later found it. In the form of a text from my roommate saying he gambled away 'our' money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 553

You deserved it 4 025

Today, I hit a parked car which was sticking out in the road and practically unavoidable. I left a note on the windshield saying, "You deserved to get hit - you park like an asshole." Later I realized that the paper I tore to write on was the back of my bank statement, name and address included. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 495

You deserved it 79 845

Today, a stranger pulled me out of the path of a speeding taxicab. He then took one look at my face, said, "I should've left you there", and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 561

You deserved it 4 552

Today, I went through my boyfriend’s phone. He'd told his brothers, mom, and mutual friends that I was at a psych ward, after I went crazy. We have been back together for four months now after that situation, so no wonder I got the vibe they hate me. Why lie about something so stupid? FML

I agree, your life sucks 409

You deserved it 225