Sex, Awkward and Intimacy: Nuts

FML for mobile
Free

Nuts

By Anonymous - 15/09/2011 20:03 - United States

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. Not only did he last just 2 minutes, he also sat there for a while afterwards, smacking his semi-erect penis in awe and saying, "Look, it's still hard! How crazy is that?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 900

You deserved it 6 165

Fête de la Musique: Notes et Négligences
When melodies meet misadventures, the Fête de la Musique becomes a symphony of laughter! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Lady Vulva - 19/09/2015 02:56

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It lasted about 20 seconds, and he cried during it. I later heard him telling his friends he'd given me a "damn good pounding" and "made her cum 3 times". I wish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 015

You deserved it 3 082

By Anonymous - 03/11/2012 01:23 - Canada - Bedford

Today, I finally lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It hurt like hell, was over in less than a minute, and he tried to reuse the condom for a second round. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 070

You deserved it 6 097

By ShouldveStayedAVirgin - 13/01/2016 18:30 - United States - Houston

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend of 7 years. He thrusted as fast as rabbits. I waited years for 10 seconds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 943

You deserved it 7 097

By EliseV - 03/11/2014 18:56 - United States - Chino Hills

Today, I lost my virginity. In the middle of it, he just gave up and said he wasn't in the mood anymore. Then I had to listen about his past failed relationships for over an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 995

You deserved it 6 016

Giggle loop

By Anonymous - 18/03/2010 10:39 - United States

Today, I decided it was time to lose my virginity to my boyfriend. After about ten minutes he started going faster and his stomach was slapping against mine. It was making a weird sound so I started laughing. Apparently that wasn't sexy and he went soft. My first time and we didn't even finish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 359

You deserved it 38 350

Absolute beginners

By dancerr2210 - 09/06/2010 04:01 - United States

Today, after making out with my boyfriend for the first time, it took me an hour to convince him he was still a virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 293

You deserved it 6 975

Waste

By Annie - 31/08/2011 03:17 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Two minutes in, he goes, "Wow, this is strenuous" and stopped. I waited three years for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 836

You deserved it 5 309

By unsatisfied - 09/02/2010 03:33 - France

Today, I lost my virginity. It took all of 30 seconds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 477

You deserved it 5 366

By anonymous - 11/02/2012 05:57 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. He swore it wouldn't be 2 minutes long this time. He was right. It was 3 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 998

You deserved it 5 644

By sadsexer23 - 16/02/2010 03:10 - United States

Today, I took my girlfriends virginity and had given it my all. When I had finished, sweating and tired, I looked down at her and smiled, obviously pleased with myself. She looked up at me and said, "Wait, was that it?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 849

You deserved it 6 743

enonymous 8

Friday 16 September 2011 1:10

Dude 2 minutes? I want this guys autograph. Setting world records... I think I'm at 30 seconds of fury myself

Mauskau 35

Friday 16 September 2011 1:12

If it was his first time that's why it was quick, tends to be for guys as it's a new feeling to them and they love it XD

Comments

MosephMatar515 6

Wednesday 9 January 2013 7:29

I laughed so hard after reading this!!

Anumayis 34

Monday 4 March 2013 19:51

My boyfriend did the same penis-slapping thing. he's still amazed by it.

Captain_Flappers 7

Monday 11 March 2013 4:39

He's a keeper

The_9th_Doctor 18

Monday 16 September 2013 17:28

I feel so sorry for you. time to get someone new

DickChappy99 6

Sunday 29 December 2013 19:51

The first times always a bit awkward

CoriCat 25

Thursday 3 April 2014 19:25

Two minutes isn't that bad. It's longer than most.

ilmanator 7

Tuesday 6 May 2014 5:24

has he ever masturbated before wtf

CoriCat 25

Monday 12 May 2014 14:29

Most guys don't last very long until you start having regular sex. Don't be so whiny. Your first time isn't going to be amazing.

MsMarchBaby 5

Thursday 16 October 2014 0:14

That's so like crazy

aaashketchum 21

Wednesday 13 April 2016 23:49

No round 2?!

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous I need your advice Love Awkward First Dates Health Hair Money Technology Parents Kids Dating My ex Cute Alcohol Mental health Birthday Family Death Funerals Poopoo peepee Work TV shows Sex Video games Gamers Friends Intimacy School Embarrassing

The Top

Today, I'm 25 and still a virgin. At this point I'm not sure to feel embarrassed or proud. Imagine being 25 and not know what the fuck you are doing in the bedroom. I don't know who it would be more awkward for, me or them. Maybe I'll just avoid human interaction all together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 470

You deserved it 184

Today, I went to the doctor because recently I've had a white liquid coming from my breast. I found out it's milk. I'm not pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 023

You deserved it 4 824

The Top

Today, my friend dragged me out of a movie because they swore a bit and there was drug use. Apparently, she's a Mormon now, and, "doesn't want her values compromised." This from the same girl who tried to get me to try crack a few weeks ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 778

You deserved it 238

Today, I parked my car in a garage that cost $13 for every 10 minutes past 10 o'clock. When I came back to the garage at 10, I had forgotten where I parked it and spent an hour looking for it. I paid $78 to lose my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 826

You deserved it 41 836

Today, the two and a half hours it took our poorly air conditioned taxi to go 20 miles in stop-and-go traffic was highlighted by our son projectile vomiting all over my wife, a suitcase, and the car. It ended with me having to pay both for the ride, as well as for cleaning the inside of the taxi. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 374

You deserved it 3 234

Today, I realized my lack of spatial awareness has hit a new low when it took me 15 tries to type the word “At” instead of “Ay.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 610

You deserved it 218

Today, while teaching juniors about black holes, I said, "Imagine everything being sucked into a black hole." An African-American student shouted, "I'd better start clenching!" Nobody took the lesson seriously after that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 536

You deserved it 5 838

Today, my husband, who told me last week he was unhappy, wasn't in love with me anymore and is "talking" to someone else, asked me if I could give him the information for the people we've previously rented from, so he can move out. I gave him what I still had. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 071

You deserved it 135