Oh, hai Mark!

By Anonymous - 11/10/2019 12:00

Today, my boyfriend's antisocial father actually decided to talk to me. Too bad I couldn't respond, due to the fact that I still had his son's penis in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 177

You deserved it 802

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Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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By acinorev - 07/08/2021 22:01

Today, my boyfriend's antisocial father actually decided to talk to me. Too bad I couldn't respond, due to the fact that I still had his son's penis in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 111

You deserved it 514

By pleasedtomeetyou - 13/01/2010 16:42 - United Kingdom

Today, I met my boyfriend's notoriously difficult mother. I had been looking forward to meeting her and making a good impression. Unfortunately, I could not greet her as her son's penis was still in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 149

You deserved it 16 378

By Anonymous - 22/05/2010 23:22 - United States

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my dad called my cell. He ended the phone call with, "and tell your boyfriend to shut up, I can hear him moaning." FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 585

You deserved it 47 211

Not now!

By XxDiabolikalXx - 24/08/2010 07:30 - France

Today, while having dinner, my boyfriend decided to tell everyone about our sex life. It wouldn't have been too bad except my father was sitting right next to me. My boyfriend's excuse was that he wanted to make my dad laugh. He didn't laugh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 808

You deserved it 4 327

By Oh God - 24/05/2018 06:00

Today, I met my new boyfriend’s family for the first time. Unfortunately for me, his dad walked in to ask what we wanted for dinner while we were having sex. Even worse was that my boyfriend kept going while his dad was there, and his dad later said he was glad I was “the woman”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 133

You deserved it 1 457

By CALIdime_15 - 05/05/2012 05:42 - United States

Today, I watched my boyfriend have a full on conversation with his penis. He also talks to his penis nicer than he talks to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 358

You deserved it 4 920

Breaking news

By I Know How to Pick'em - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Canada - Beaverton

Today, as I had a chat with my boyfriend and a couple of his friends, one of them had brought up my boyfriend's son and his other child who was due any day now. The conversation would have went well, had I known that he had a son and a pregnant girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 852

You deserved it 2 685

By Anonymous - 01/03/2011 17:32 - United States

Today, while getting it on with my boyfriend, I decided to be spontaneous and do something sexy. I started taking his underwear off with my teeth. My teeth dragged over his shaft, and my braces cut up his foreskin in the process. Now he's not talking to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 760

You deserved it 62 033

You have the same voice!

By EternalBlossom - 14/07/2015 05:03 - United States

Today, I had decided that I was ready to have sex with my boyfriend. So, I called him and told him how naughty I felt, only to realize that I had called my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 522

You deserved it 24 081

By Anonymous - 04/01/2014 23:13 - Canada - Hamilton

Today, my boyfriend met my parents. Within minutes, my dad managed to verbally sever his balls and reduce him to tears, "just for fun" apparently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 699

You deserved it 5 699

bl3ur0z3 17

Friday 11 October 2019 16:57

You could have taken it out to make small talk.

TCRII 29

Friday 11 October 2019 13:35

Your life sucks. Literally, at that moment, your life sucked. Hope dad was on the phone or outside a locked door. Lol

Comments

TCRII 29

Friday 11 October 2019 13:35

Your life sucks. Literally, at that moment, your life sucked. Hope dad was on the phone or outside a locked door. Lol

BurnInDemonFire 34

Friday 11 October 2019 15:33

How long does it take you to pull a **** out of your mouth? It's not like you're trying to solve a puzzle in the dark. If your boyfriend's dad stayed on the other side of the door, he wouldn't have seen you. If, however, he was in the room with you, that dude knew exactly what was going on, so you could have stopped, and replied regardless.