Work: One of those people

One of those people

By Vercsi - 19/02/2015 15:47 - United Kingdom - Newcastle Upon Tyne

Today, my attention-seeking, insanely thick co-worker explained that due to her new diet she can't eat bread. She "can eat pizza" though. When we pointed out that they’re pretty much made of the same ingredients, she wouldn’t believe us. I sit right behind this idiot every day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 317

You deserved it 2 762

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Same thing different taste

By ice4eva - 21/06/2019 14:05

Today, I was eating pizza and I started bitching about how our campus doesn't have any healthy food choices, and that I was forced to eat this disgusting, greasy pizza. My friend then pointed out that I was standing next to the salad bar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 501

You deserved it 3 555

Power dynamic

By whole wheat or nothing - 30/12/2022 15:00

Today, my girlfriend viciously chewed me out for not taking a sandwich to work to save money. I don't have a problem with packing lunches, but the store-brand white bread she insists on buying is disgusting. She won't listen to me, and refuses to let me buy anything else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 971

You deserved it 330

Unusual cruelty

By Angryparent - 06/09/2022 08:00 - United States

Today, I found out that my overweight daughter’s teacher starved her during a pizza party. She made her wait an hour until the entire class got a slice and their seconds. When it was her turn, there was only one tiny slice. According to her, she, “looks like she hasn’t missed a meal, she’ll be alright.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 673

You deserved it 368

Channeling Gordon Ramsay

By ThisIsGonnaBeALongFewDays - 13/02/2023 22:00

Today, my cousin came by to visit, and we went out to a pizza restaurant for dinner. She’s a very picky eater, so much so that she takes the cheese off the pizza, despite me politely asking her not to. One of the chefs walks by, sees it, and yells, “What have you done to my beautiful pizza!?” at us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 737

You deserved it 312

Life hacks

By just walk away - 07/04/2022 01:00 - United States

Today, I wanted to believe that people couldn't possibly be this stupid, but prior to surgery my brother's wife was put on an all-liquid diet. The idiot didn’t realize that putting cake and ice cream in a blender didn’t make it a fucking clear liquid. She argued, “I’m not eating it, I’m drinking it!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 012

You deserved it 107

By Fatlady43 - 19/01/2010 05:08 - United States

Today, my niece offered me a slice of cake. After I refused, she asked, "Why not? Aren't fat people always hungry?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 283

You deserved it 6 521

Huh?

By Anonymous - 14/07/2009 18:03 - Spain

Today, I went to a restaurant for lunch. The waiter brought some bread and I started eating it as I waited for him to take my order. When he approached me he looked at me and said, "Don't eat too much bread honey. It'll make you fatter." Not fat, fatter. I never thought of myself as fat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 270

You deserved it 7 068

By a fatty - 15/02/2011 06:25

Today, the lady running the pastry shop asked who I buy the second pastry for every day. I lied and told her that it's for a coworker. I eat them both. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 702

You deserved it 36 428

By Anonymous - 29/07/2017 19:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, my co-worker offered me sweets, then chocolate and then biscuits. Repeatedly. She knows I'm trying to diet for my wedding. She does this every day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 475

You deserved it 454

By Anonymous - 13/12/2011 20:26 - United States

Today, I had to convince my girlfriend that, no matter how much she makes herself burp, she won't lose any weight. She still doesn't understand why. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 396

You deserved it 3 958

khorstmye 15

Thursday 19 February 2015 19:08

But pizza is healthy right?

AhmadTarhini 8

Thursday 19 February 2015 19:11

One just can't simply give up eating pizza tbh

Comments

ThatDamHuntress 20

Friday 20 February 2015 4:25

You said We at least some of your co-workers are sane!

tdawg91 17

Friday 20 February 2015 6:11

#54 don't bother arguing with her

tiggles2000 18

Friday 20 February 2015 6:15

The ingredients are exactly the same for bread and pizza dough. Only the quantities are different

SplineMan 4

Friday 20 February 2015 17:00

Well, yes, your life DOES suck because you work with her, but think about how much HER life sucks if she actually believes this :x

jessdexter 5

Saturday 21 February 2015 3:07

why do you care that's her life

BeanOfFury 5

Saturday 21 February 2015 6:31

Let her believe it then. Lessons learned the hard way stick longer.

Shade1982 20

Thursday 26 February 2015 12:28

Hardly, people tend to find excuses and other things to blame along the way for that.

ally8 21

Sunday 22 February 2015 1:39

Is this a gluten thing? Maybe she's having gluten free pizza?

superbry 5

Sunday 22 February 2015 20:07

time to find a new seat, you don't want the stupid to spread.

millsjoshua949 12

Saturday 19 September 2020 23:56

Not sure why it matters to you what this woman eats.

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The Top

Today, my wife waited until we’d been married for two weeks to tell me she has a mountain of credit card debt that she’s been hiding from me. This explains why she insisted the mortgage and car be in my name, her credit score is so low that it’s almost a double digit FML

I agree, your life sucks 521

You deserved it 145

Today, I pulled my Christmas tree out of my mother-in-law's garage, only to find out rats had ruined all the lights. The tree cost $2600. FML

I agree, your life sucks 190

You deserved it 514

The Top

Today, I tried to blink out a small speck of dirt that was caught in my eye. Instead, I learned what it feels like to suffocate a small, angry spider with your eyelid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 543

You deserved it 3 838

Today, I realised my sex drive has improved massively since I started fantasising about Bruno from Encanto on the regular. I thought my lack of appetite was because of my mental health issues. Apparently not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 889

You deserved it 310

Today, I went to the casino and put $500 into a game and lost it all. I tried another $100 and won it all back, plus some. Instead of walking out ahead, I kept trying to hit bigger and ended up losing all my rent money. Rent is due and now I can’t pay it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 165

You deserved it 3 692

Today, my girlfriend posted “Alexa, play 'Flowers' by Miley Cyrus” as her Facebook status, all because I didn’t return her 14 missed calls. Apparently, taking an online proctored exam, which required absolute concentration counts as “talking to other women.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 051

You deserved it 123

Today, the company I applied for called up congratulating me in getting the job. I was ecstatic. Quickly enough I texted a few mates that I'd got the job. Twenty minutes later they called again, saying the trainee had accidentally called the wrong applicant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 571

You deserved it 2 981

Today, I thought it was a good idea to flush the stink bug I found in my kitchen. Later I went in the bathroom to take a crap, and next thing I know, I feel a stink bug on my privates. I guess it didn't flush after all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 019

You deserved it 8 725