Health: Ouch

Ouch

By beateneggs - 02/03/2010 19:57 - United States

Today, while shopping with my mother, she handed me a frozen turkey to put in the cart, but ended up swinging it into my nuts instead. I feel like a giant battered eggplant, and I think I'm now impotent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 429

You deserved it 3 431

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Same thing different taste

By emeraldarcher74 - 19/11/2016 18:34 - United States - Lake Stevens

Today, my mother made me a delicious meal of gravy, stuffing, mashed and sweet potatoes, and cranberries. Overjoyed, I tried to give her a hug. Instead, I accidentally punched her in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 265

You deserved it 1 343

Violence is never the answer

By Anonymous - 04/06/2023 14:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my coworker warned me that if I made one more dad joke, she’d belt me with a frying pan. Alas, I did not believe her capable of such violence, which is why I now sit here with a bag of frozen peas pressed to the 3-inch lump on the back of my head. Plus she was sacked, so now I feel horribly guilty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 956

You deserved it 699

By beleria - 23/04/2012 22:41 - United States

Today, I went grocery shopping. As I was leaning in to pick up some produce, someone viciously slapped me on the butt. I whirled around and nobody was anywhere in sight. Now I'm starting to worry that I'm losing my mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 238

You deserved it 2 892

By Jeff - 02/08/2019 04:00 - United States

Today, after a stay at the hospital for two broken legs, I finally got home and attempted to relax. My dad went to hand me the remote and dropped it right on my nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 651

You deserved it 138

By Anonymous - 23/11/2017 01:30

Today, I took a well-aimed TV remote to the testicles. My wife’s pregnancy cravings are really bad and I forgot to restock the cupboard with apricot jam and packets of sage and onion stuffing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 483

You deserved it 775

By bbbkingsey - 23/07/2009 07:10 - United States

Today, while walking through the park, a little boy came running up to me and hit me in the nuts with a stick. I fell on the ground and looked up just in time to see his mom giving him the thumbs up with a smile on her face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 883

You deserved it 4 373

In pain

By Khail Lozano - 02/04/2022 00:00

Today, I was making my bed and had an armload of pillows. One slipped and I tried to catch it between my arm and leg. I missed, sending my fist into my nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 744

You deserved it 260

By pasquale - 20/09/2014 06:54 - Australia - Parramatta

Today, my mother threw an egg at my face with force because I returned home 5 minutes late to dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 045

You deserved it 5 631

By Anonymous - 21/11/2015 21:12 - United States - Rockville

Today, I sliced my finger on a frozen chicken cutlet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 719

You deserved it 2 792

By Eggs - 15/11/2013 05:00 - United States - Port Richey

Today, I fell down in the street when a speeding car chucked a hard-boiled egg at my butt. While I waited for the feeling in my legs to return, they came back and threw more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 094

You deserved it 3 149

JojoBrown520 0

Tuesday 2 March 2010 23:38

giant battered eggplant? O.o

jennacide 0

Tuesday 2 March 2010 23:35

Thats what you get for trying to do a womans job! jk :)

Comments

Schwarzenegger87 0

Thursday 4 March 2010 7:56

fdgdfgfd

Batman4890 0

Thursday 4 March 2010 19:58

So lemme get this straight; she handed you (she didn't throw it) a turkey and you couldn't even handle that? Thank god you can't have babies...

jebusandme 1

Friday 5 March 2010 23:52

So clearly she handed you the turkey and you dropped it on your sack... and called it swinging... You're not impotent, you just have a pussy

88sforlife 0

Tuesday 8 June 2010 6:09

Tell Her To Take It Herself And Get In The Kitchen

nhfromtheheart 0

Friday 13 August 2010 6:05

....eggplant?

dusty209 0

Tuesday 22 February 2011 7:12

r u fat? shaped like an eggplant?

MileyCyrusIsHot 5

Sunday 17 April 2011 16:16

eggplant????

Horned_Frog_82 0

Tuesday 5 July 2011 5:58

I'm just curious.. Did you happen to ever be an eggplant? Because I don't even know what that feels like...

superbubbles 4

Monday 27 August 2012 19:58

The produce number for eggplants where I live is 4081. :P

stephieadhd 8

Sunday 30 September 2012 13:53

Beautifully written OP

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I agree, your life sucks 494

You deserved it 132

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I agree, your life sucks 39 943

You deserved it 3 987

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I agree, your life sucks 23 211

You deserved it 1 636

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I agree, your life sucks 1 797

You deserved it 897

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I agree, your life sucks 37 679

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Ouch

Same thing different taste

Violence is never the answer

In pain

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