Health: Ouch

Ouch

By beateneggs - 02/03/2010 19:57 - United States

Today, while shopping with my mother, she handed me a frozen turkey to put in the cart, but ended up swinging it into my nuts instead. I feel like a giant battered eggplant, and I think I'm now impotent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 429

You deserved it 3 431

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By emeraldarcher74 - 19/11/2016 18:34 - United States - Lake Stevens

Today, my mother made me a delicious meal of gravy, stuffing, mashed and sweet potatoes, and cranberries. Overjoyed, I tried to give her a hug. Instead, I accidentally punched her in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 265

You deserved it 1 343

Violence is never the answer

By Anonymous - 04/06/2023 14:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my coworker warned me that if I made one more dad joke, she’d belt me with a frying pan. Alas, I did not believe her capable of such violence, which is why I now sit here with a bag of frozen peas pressed to the 3-inch lump on the back of my head. Plus she was sacked, so now I feel horribly guilty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 956

You deserved it 699

By beleria - 23/04/2012 22:41 - United States

Today, I went grocery shopping. As I was leaning in to pick up some produce, someone viciously slapped me on the butt. I whirled around and nobody was anywhere in sight. Now I'm starting to worry that I'm losing my mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 238

You deserved it 2 892

By Jeff - 02/08/2019 04:00 - United States

Today, after a stay at the hospital for two broken legs, I finally got home and attempted to relax. My dad went to hand me the remote and dropped it right on my nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 651

You deserved it 138

By Anonymous - 23/11/2017 01:30

Today, I took a well-aimed TV remote to the testicles. My wife’s pregnancy cravings are really bad and I forgot to restock the cupboard with apricot jam and packets of sage and onion stuffing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 483

You deserved it 775

By bbbkingsey - 23/07/2009 07:10 - United States

Today, while walking through the park, a little boy came running up to me and hit me in the nuts with a stick. I fell on the ground and looked up just in time to see his mom giving him the thumbs up with a smile on her face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 883

You deserved it 4 373

In pain

By Khail Lozano - 02/04/2022 00:00

Today, I was making my bed and had an armload of pillows. One slipped and I tried to catch it between my arm and leg. I missed, sending my fist into my nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 744

You deserved it 260

By pasquale - 20/09/2014 06:54 - Australia - Parramatta

Today, my mother threw an egg at my face with force because I returned home 5 minutes late to dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 045

You deserved it 5 631

By Anonymous - 21/11/2015 21:12 - United States - Rockville

Today, I sliced my finger on a frozen chicken cutlet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 719

You deserved it 2 792

By Eggs - 15/11/2013 05:00 - United States - Port Richey

Today, I fell down in the street when a speeding car chucked a hard-boiled egg at my butt. While I waited for the feeling in my legs to return, they came back and threw more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 094

You deserved it 3 149

JojoBrown520 0

Tuesday 2 March 2010 23:38

giant battered eggplant? O.o

jennacide 0

Tuesday 2 March 2010 23:35

Thats what you get for trying to do a womans job! jk :)

Comments

jennacide 0

Tuesday 2 March 2010 23:35

Thats what you get for trying to do a womans job! jk :)

Mx_Rider 6

Wednesday 3 March 2010 0:43

StoryOfTheYear 14

Wednesday 3 March 2010 7:43

getting a turkey?

GeorgeBoosh 0

Wednesday 3 March 2010 10:20

The OP is a complete childish woosy kid. Could say: "A load of bollocks", but he says he no longer has any

folfg0 12

Thursday 9 August 2012 22:58

Let me swing a 10+ lbs chicken in to your testicles and see if you still feel that way douche!

QueenOfStars 0

Tuesday 2 March 2010 23:37

lol!!

JojoBrown520 0

Tuesday 2 March 2010 23:38

giant battered eggplant? O.o

ShadowedHuman 5

Tuesday 2 March 2010 23:47

yea I was wondering the same thing... WTF must be some redneck hick

furismurder 4

Wednesday 3 March 2010 0:43

since when do hicks eat eggplant?? haha

strandedinalimo 0

Wednesday 3 March 2010 9:09

I've never had eggplant. At least I know I'm not a hick?

boog_fml 7

Wednesday 3 March 2010 9:43

I was also wondering why of all things he chose an eggplant. Easily bruised? Purple? =

redbluegreen 40

Wednesday 3 March 2010 23:17

I'm thinking because not only are eggplants very delicate (simply by touching them can they be damaged), and they're usually very large. I think it's an excellent, yet disturbing, description.