Work, Make up and Kids: Own it

Own it

By psychortiz - 03/06/2009 17:40 - United States

Today, I allowed my five-year old daughter to paint my fingernails during a living-room "picnic" we were having. A while later I got called back in to work for an emergency meeting. When I arrived at the meeting I noticed my fingernails were still neon-green. I am a 40-year old man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 617

You deserved it 16 715

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 26/05/2019 17:15

Today, I got a call from my 14-year-old step-daughter while I was out. She'd left nail polish in her pocket when she'd tried to wash the clothes. I now have hot pink streaks on most of my work clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 744

You deserved it 136

By WeldedShut - 03/03/2017 18:00

Today, I was with a wedding party getting manicures. I absentmindedly used a freshly-painted nail to pick my nose and ended up with two beauticians scraping indestructible bright red gel varnish out of my left nostril with acetone soaked q-tips, while everyone sat waiting in complete silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 780

You deserved it 8 265

By Anonymous - 30/04/2009 04:52 - United States

Today, my girlfriend bought this hot pink Chanel nail polish. Bored, she thought it would be funny to paint my nails. I finally gave in and let her paint my toe nails. After she left, my buddy calls to to see if I can give him a ride. I forgot I had a swim meet today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 027

You deserved it 54 353

By badmom - 30/01/2018 19:00

Today, I was told that I was a terrible mother, I was ruining my daughter’s life and that I was raising her to be promiscuous. Why? Because I'd painted my 2-year-old’s fingernails. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 608

You deserved it 658

By crazyvulva9216 - 27/01/2009 01:17 - United States

Today, I got bored on the toilet and decided to paint my nails. I ended up having to wait half an hour to wipe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 829

You deserved it 68 935

By Anonymous - 27/04/2011 19:16 - United States

Today, I awoke to make-up all over my face and nail polish on my hands and feet because my daughter wanted "daddy to look pretty." I have a job interview in an hour and none of it is coming off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 535

You deserved it 5 374

Primitive art

By Anonymous - 19/04/2021 00:30

Today, I went to check on my 2 year-old daughter in her playroom, since she was being awfully quiet. I walk in to see her finger painting with her own feces on her kiddie table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 914

You deserved it 300

By inosehowthatgotthere - 10/02/2011 01:12 - United States

Today, the woman giving me a manicure found a booger under one of my fingernails. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 353

You deserved it 52 579

Great start

By whytoday - 14/05/2011 06:50 - United States

Today, on the first day of my nanny job, I wanted to impress my employers with how trustworthy and responsible I am. During the sixty seconds that I went to pee, the two-year-old found a black Sharpie and scribbled all over the wall. Nail polish remover made it ten times worse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 462

You deserved it 8 355

By twinkletoes - 17/09/2012 06:32 - United States

Today, I went to get my nails done for the first time in a while. I don't like to go that much because two of my toes are connected, and I'm very self-conscious about it. The man painting my toes started laughing when he saw them and called all the other employees over to look. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 113

You deserved it 2 576

AlphaC 0

Thursday 4 June 2009 1:57

You have a five year old daughter. That immediately exempts you from being called gay or unmanly. You're not gay/unmanly because you have neon-green fingernails. You're a parent of a five year old daughter. Cheer up, it's not THAT bad.

justme001 0

Thursday 4 June 2009 2:00

Hey, it means you participate in your kid's life. Good for you, eff anyone who would say otherwise.

Comments

TheKitsune 0

Saturday 6 June 2009 0:19

That is amazing. If I saw that you would be my new best friend. There need to be more fathers like you in the world!!

cameo81293 0

Saturday 6 June 2009 6:03

This isn't an FML, this is really sweet. And as soon as you say you have a kid, people'll understand. Hah, i have pictures of my 3 year old self putting hot pink lipstick on my retired marine grandfather. Get used to, little girls don't outgrow the "dress up daddy" stage till they're 7. :p

cactus_fml 0

Saturday 6 June 2009 17:57

AWWWE @ 252 and her marine grandfather.

AndieP22 0

Sunday 7 June 2009 3:55

not an FML. that's Cute, i just wish my dad would have let me do that when i was little. if anything Kudos for being an awesome dad!!

id0nTgiv3af___ 0

Sunday 7 June 2009 4:04

can you say homophobic?

CeltricShock 0

Monday 8 June 2009 4:41

wtf is a 40 year old man doing on FML? lmao. That's not something you read everyday.

tictong 0

Wednesday 10 June 2009 17:35

well, its not that back, fml bbecause of that? no way..

heheh_fml 0

Thursday 11 June 2009 4:29

You're a good dad.

Anu_Ra 0

Thursday 11 June 2009 20:11

I agree with #1 Don't worry people will only see that you're a good father ;D

Anu_Ra 0

Thursday 11 June 2009 20:27

WTF @ 224 AND ALL THE PEOPLE WHO THINK 40+ YR OLDS DON'T USE THE INTERNETS! lol Seriously anybody who thinks 40 is old needs to get off the computer, go to bed and let their mommies tuck them in... How immature! @OP: I love it. I hope the father of my children will be as wonderful as you! :D