Work, Make up and Kids: Own it

Own it

By psychortiz - 03/06/2009 17:40 - United States

Today, I allowed my five-year old daughter to paint my fingernails during a living-room "picnic" we were having. A while later I got called back in to work for an emergency meeting. When I arrived at the meeting I noticed my fingernails were still neon-green. I am a 40-year old man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 618

You deserved it 16 715

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 26/05/2019 17:15

Today, I got a call from my 14-year-old step-daughter while I was out. She'd left nail polish in her pocket when she'd tried to wash the clothes. I now have hot pink streaks on most of my work clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 745

You deserved it 136

By WeldedShut - 03/03/2017 18:00

Today, I was with a wedding party getting manicures. I absentmindedly used a freshly-painted nail to pick my nose and ended up with two beauticians scraping indestructible bright red gel varnish out of my left nostril with acetone soaked q-tips, while everyone sat waiting in complete silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 780

You deserved it 8 267

By Anonymous - 30/04/2009 04:52 - United States

Today, my girlfriend bought this hot pink Chanel nail polish. Bored, she thought it would be funny to paint my nails. I finally gave in and let her paint my toe nails. After she left, my buddy calls to to see if I can give him a ride. I forgot I had a swim meet today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 028

You deserved it 54 358

By badmom - 30/01/2018 19:00

Today, I was told that I was a terrible mother, I was ruining my daughter’s life and that I was raising her to be promiscuous. Why? Because I'd painted my 2-year-old’s fingernails. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 609

You deserved it 659

By crazyvulva9216 - 27/01/2009 01:17 - United States

Today, I got bored on the toilet and decided to paint my nails. I ended up having to wait half an hour to wipe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 829

You deserved it 68 936

By Anonymous - 27/04/2011 19:16 - United States

Today, I awoke to make-up all over my face and nail polish on my hands and feet because my daughter wanted "daddy to look pretty." I have a job interview in an hour and none of it is coming off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 536

You deserved it 5 374

Primitive art

By Anonymous - 19/04/2021 00:30

Today, I went to check on my 2 year-old daughter in her playroom, since she was being awfully quiet. I walk in to see her finger painting with her own feces on her kiddie table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 915

You deserved it 300

By inosehowthatgotthere - 10/02/2011 01:12 - United States

Today, the woman giving me a manicure found a booger under one of my fingernails. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 354

You deserved it 52 582

Great start

By whytoday - 14/05/2011 06:50 - United States

Today, on the first day of my nanny job, I wanted to impress my employers with how trustworthy and responsible I am. During the sixty seconds that I went to pee, the two-year-old found a black Sharpie and scribbled all over the wall. Nail polish remover made it ten times worse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 463

You deserved it 8 356

By twinkletoes - 17/09/2012 06:32 - United States

Today, I went to get my nails done for the first time in a while. I don't like to go that much because two of my toes are connected, and I'm very self-conscious about it. The man painting my toes started laughing when he saw them and called all the other employees over to look. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 113

You deserved it 2 576

AlphaC 0

Thursday 4 June 2009 1:57

You have a five year old daughter. That immediately exempts you from being called gay or unmanly. You're not gay/unmanly because you have neon-green fingernails. You're a parent of a five year old daughter. Cheer up, it's not THAT bad.

justme001 0

Thursday 4 June 2009 2:00

Hey, it means you participate in your kid's life. Good for you, eff anyone who would say otherwise.

Comments

taz3195 0

Thursday 4 June 2009 3:37

Wow.... I bet they looked pretty!!!

yaa 0

Thursday 4 June 2009 3:38

Jee my dad would never let me paint his nails.

iDuck 0

Thursday 4 June 2009 3:40

Old people like you shouldn't be on the Internet. D :

Emwo 0

Thursday 4 June 2009 3:45

Blaming the kids can get you out of a lot of stuff. xD As long as it's not serious

56578 0

Thursday 4 June 2009 3:53

Hey, she is your daughter and you were being a good dad. The people at work will understand.

guserickson 0

Thursday 4 June 2009 3:54

awww bro! but good 4 u. sounds like your a good dad! but neon green! c'mon!

Phoenix_GAD 0

Thursday 4 June 2009 3:55

this is not an fml. this is seriously sweet. haha my dad never would have done that for me. all i can say is you must be a super awesome dad. congrats on ur extremely creative daughter! and be proud of ur green nails!! i personally like bight colors for nail polish. try electric blue next time. amazing.

jamieraemac 0

Thursday 4 June 2009 3:58

God bless you for being like that. I wish my dad would so much as think of playing with me when I was little. Stay a good dad, take some pictures and love love love. Your daughter deserves it

mwischmann 0

Thursday 4 June 2009 3:59

Aww cute :)

elsieenchanted 0

Thursday 4 June 2009 4:05

"Don't you just LOVE my neon green nail polish? I do!" Aha.(: But, you could just explain. :] I remember when I was like 5 or 6 I would put hair clip's in my dads hair and paint his nails. Trust me, you'll be fine.