Love: Pants on fire

Pants on fire

By Anonymous - 29/09/2013 04:12 - United States

Today, I texted a cute picture of my boyfriend and me to my mom, who lives very far away. She replied saying that my Photoshop skills are great, but that I don't need to go so far to pretend that anyone would date me, and that there's no shame in being single at 25. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 206

You deserved it 3 284

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Same thing different taste

Thanks for the support

By Anonymous - 25/01/2022 11:01 - Canada - Cornwall

Today, after being bodyshamed by my mother for being too fat (I'm a size 14) and how I shouldn't be wearing shorts because it makes me look ugly and motivates people to comment on my body, I texted my boyfriend to tell him about it. His reply was, "Aww. you cutie. You know she's not wrong." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 240

You deserved it 411

By dpap - 18/01/2013 23:03 - United States - Waukee

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents. The first thing my dad did was comment that given how pretty she looked in our photos, and compared to how she looks in real life, she's amazing at using Photoshop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 229

You deserved it 3 748

Crossed wires

By Anonymous - 23/05/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, I sent a romantic, flirty text to my boyfriend. A few minutes later, I got a reply from… my mom, saying, “I don’t think this was meant for me, but thanks for making my day awkward.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 243

You deserved it 424

By Anonymous - 21/06/2009 08:50 - Australia

Today, I was talking with my mother and expressed my slight disappointment at how many of my friends are getting into relationships, whereas I'm still single. My mother decided to encourage me by saying "Don't worry, sweetie. There are boys out there who don't go for looks. You'll be fine". FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 190

You deserved it 4 023

Cheers

By toastynippies - 24/02/2015 19:32 - United States

Today, my mom sent me a picture of a blank piece of paper, saying it was a drawing of all the people who wanted to date me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 266

You deserved it 3 229

By dylanhollis - 17/01/2014 12:49 - United States - San Antonio

Today, I signed up for a dating site and used a photo of my mother and me at a wedding. Everyone stops responding when they find out they're talking to me and not her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 803

You deserved it 9 187

By Anonymous - 08/07/2012 15:17 - United States - Santa Cruz

Today, my mom wanted to send me a picture of me at graduation, saying that I looked pretty in it. It was a picture of a different girl; definitely not me. Way to go, mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 548

You deserved it 1 819

Mind your own business

By Crazy Mom - 10/06/2013 05:13 - United States

Today, my mom walked into the bathroom while I was taking a pic to send to my long-distance boyfriend. She then told me I would go to hell for flaunting myself at guys. I was fully clothed, sending a pic to see if he liked my new haircut. That and I'm 21. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 247

You deserved it 4 636

Thanks but no thanks

By Anonymous - 04/07/2012 18:01 - United States

Today, I called my mom to see how she was doing. She quickly hijacked the conversation and said that she's signed me up for a dating site, because she feels bad that I can't find a decent man. I've been dating my boyfriend for seven months, and she's seen me with him multiple times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 541

You deserved it 2 405

Controlling

By Future kept man, going cheap FML - 09/06/2022 04:00

Today, my mom was helping me plan for going to college. After 30 minutes of me getting more upset, and her getting more frustrated, she directed me to Tinder, a wedding venue website, and the local address for Planned Parenthood. Her actual words were, "There's no shame in being a stay at home dad these days." FML

I agree, your life sucks 781

You deserved it 187

IceMan11 23

Sunday 29 September 2013 13:28

There is nothing wrong with being 25 and single.

dudeimmadoc 9

Sunday 29 September 2013 13:26

Aww, its okay OP, I'm sure she was just joking!

Comments

dollyBaby87 9

Sunday 29 September 2013 17:19

you and your boyfriend could always go visit her. just make sure you both have a loud fun time somewhere in the house. ;)

Amizee 12

Sunday 29 September 2013 17:58

Funny, but poor you... Hopefully your mum was joking right? ::

Snowbunnnny159 4

Sunday 29 September 2013 21:27

damnnn that's a tight ass mom!

worldclassrager 39

Sunday 29 September 2013 23:13

You love him that's all that matters...your mother shouldn't impact your love life...

zenorag 6

Monday 30 September 2013 7:18

and I*

keyofdestiny13 24

Saturday 4 April 2015 20:11

No, it's "and me" in this case.

nurchok 15

Monday 30 September 2013 19:05

Well thanks mom...

kittykat31 1

Monday 30 September 2013 20:42

bitch

TheAngryPrincess 3

Tuesday 1 October 2013 0:08

Wow. What a bitch.

angiespook 18

Tuesday 1 October 2013 2:13

I never understood how parents could even say that to their kids....

kenzamee 13

Tuesday 1 October 2013 6:38

Annnnnd that's why you live far away!

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The Top

Today, nine weeks after giving birth, my husband and I finally tried to have sex since a friend was watching the baby. Not only could I not get wet due to hormones, but as soon as he got back from buying lube, his drunk brother called needing a ride from the bar. No sex for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 207

You deserved it 324

Today, while on vacation with my siblings and the horde of nieces and nephews, me and hubby managed to sneak in a quickie. It was a quickie alright. For the first time in our marriage he blew his load after 2 strokes because he was afraid of being interrupted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 055

You deserved it 679

The Top

Today, I have a second date with someone I like. Usually, I have a minor acne problem, but this week I've had four of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 733

You deserved it 101

Today, I went on a first date with my crush. Turns out we only have one thing in common: we would both bang Hillary Clinton. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 184

You deserved it 4 630

Today, just like every other day, my company is so dysfunctional that local food chains require us to pay cash up front for our catering, because we routinely take 6 months or more to pay for a chicken sandwich. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 198

You deserved it 218

Today, as I was walking home from work, I got chased halfway home by a wolf. Yes, a wolf. I live in central Norway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 388

You deserved it 3 140

Today, my car got a wheel lock because I had 5 tickets. Three of those tickets dated back to 2006. I got my car and license in 2008. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 382

You deserved it 3 654

Today, I had my first encounter with a guy I met online. When we parted, I was hoping for a kiss but instead he says to me, "I've met stupid in my life, but never like you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 614

You deserved it 692