Health, Students and Scary: Paranoid

Paranoid

By rockefoe - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was studying late and kept hearing weird screeching sounds from outside. I couldn't figure out what it was and started getting really freaked out. It wasn't until later that I realized it was just my nose whistling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 962

You deserved it 33 808

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Same thing different taste

Snug as a bug…

By Anonymous - 02/10/2019 02:01

Today, my nose had been feeling weirdly uncomfortable all day. After I got home, I blew my nose really hard. I found that a bug had been resting inside my nose the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 791

You deserved it 168

That's a great look!

By MissQ - 20/06/2020 17:01

Today, I was trying to learn how to whistle. On the elevator ride up to my room, I was experimenting with tongue placement and mouth position. At the height of my facial contortions and probable spitting, the elevator doors opened to reveal the guy I've been crushing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 193

You deserved it 642

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By Ring a ding ding - 15/10/2023 21:00 - United States

Today, because my room was cold as ice, I couldn't sleep in there, so I went to my living room. It was at that moment that I realized just how bad my tinnitus is when I don't have my fan or any other form of constant noise to drown it out. I couldn't stop focusing on it, so I remained awake all night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 601

You deserved it 121

By Anonymous - 05/06/2017 22:00

Today, I woke up early to weird scratching and smacking noises. After gathering enough courage to check what it was, I found out it was just an ant stuck on a piece of paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 211

You deserved it 345

By SoSoRachel - 31/10/2012 21:03 - United States - Dunlap

Today, while giving a speech at work, I started sneezing. After what seemed to be the last sneeze, I went on talking. Apparently it wasn't, and I blew out my eardrum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 377

You deserved it 1 892

By woof? - 19/04/2015 17:09 - United States - San Francisco

Today, while studying for an exam, the neighbor's chihuahua started barking outside. After a few seconds, my mom yelled out for me to stop laughing. She honestly thought the barking was my laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 595

You deserved it 3 452

By Anonymous - 12/05/2012 22:09 - Netherlands - Vianen

Today, while at work, I managed to scrape open the inside of my nose with my fingernail, drawing blood in the process. I had to quickly up an explanation for my scream that didn't go: "Well, I was scouting for boogers..." FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 502

You deserved it 24 715

By Matti - 17/08/2018 22:00

Today, as I sat on the toilet, I heard a noise outside. I peered through the window and found myself staring directly at my neighbor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 193

You deserved it 241

Creepy Crawly

By chelseasdead - 04/07/2021 06:01

Today, I was smoking a cigarette outside and kept thinking I saw something moving out of the corner of my eye. I would look and there was nothing there, so I kept brushing it off. Finally I figured out it was an earwig crawling through my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 897

You deserved it 137

Could you stop doing that, please?

By Scabs - 09/08/2010 16:54 - United States

Today, I was in the car with my parents' friends. I was in the back with my window down when I felt something strange hit my ear. I then realized that the person sitting in front of me was picking their scab and throwing it out the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 809

You deserved it 2 639

marinus_fml 19

Wednesday 30 June 2010 16:09

hahah hate it when that happens :)

dacho 7

Wednesday 30 June 2010 16:12

lol, happens to me sometimes xD Except I figure it out rather quickly, when it starts to follow me around xD

Comments

Ingkognito 4

Wednesday 30 June 2010 23:21

wow. That's normal... I gues...

hghiPigh 0

Wednesday 30 June 2010 23:27

ydi for being snotty

ughblahsuckit 0

Thursday 1 July 2010 0:07

That's weird and gross. hah. and you sound stupid. how didn't you realize it was your nose? grrrreeat job.

thecatsmeow_xx 9

Thursday 1 July 2010 1:10

AHAHA. No word of a lie. This just happened to me the other night too! aha I got scared too. XP

cheergirly16 0

Thursday 1 July 2010 5:18

How is this an fml though.....lol

TheWhiteSpectre 0

Thursday 1 July 2010 5:18

Sounds like the perfect idea for a blonde joke......

TaNmKm 0

Thursday 1 July 2010 13:42

You are a stupid clueless mother Fcuker!

soccerdilan 0

Friday 2 July 2010 3:37

dumbass dushbag

redoxy_fml 0

Friday 2 July 2010 6:45

im calling a bluff on this one. unless you're not smart enough to realize that the noise and your breathing is in sync

chippa 24

Saturday 3 July 2010 19:54

Most people breathe automatically and don't pay any attention to it whatsoever. You wouldn't notice if something was in sync with your breathing. This happened to me once, only it just took me a couple mintues to figure it out. :S xD