Health, Alcohol, Drunk and Gross: Party hard

Party hard

By jagerbombs - 30/12/2009 19:08 - United States

Today, I woke up at a stranger's house after a long night of drinking. Before leaving, I decided to steal some mouthwash so I didn't smell like a liquor store. Thinking of the night before, I instinctively downed the Listerine like a shot and puked everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 027

You deserved it 46 456

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Same thing different taste

Hair of the dog

By shartface12 - 06/06/2014 22:01 - United States - San Jose

Today, after a big house party the night before, I woke up with a dry mouth and a pounding hangover. I took a swig from a cup I'd left on my bedside table the night before, thinking it was water. Nope; it was vodka. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 973

You deserved it 43 649

Morning pick-me-up

By Anonymous - 30/01/2011 05:05 - United States

Today, upon waking up, I took a sip on what I thought was a cup of water on my nightstand. I quickly discovered it was my roommate's cup of used mouthwash which she was too lazy to throw out the night before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 968

You deserved it 8 665

Partaaaaay!

By Anonymous - 18/07/2013 18:16 - Canada - Kelowna

Today, I woke up after passing out at a very small house party. I'd set a three drink limit, but apparently nobody listened, because there were beer cans everywhere, half my stuff was on the floor, and someone had shat in my bathtub. I had to clean all of it up alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 128

You deserved it 46 984

Straight to jail

By breathalizard - 02/05/2009 06:21 - United States

Today, I left a party after drinking, and was soon pulled over. I frantically grabbed my mouthwash I keep for emergency situations to cover up the alcohol smell on my breath. I was given the breathalyzer almost immediately. I blew a 2.37. Apparently, alcohol is the main ingredient of Listerine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 373

You deserved it 300 343

By Anonymous - 14/05/2015 02:37 - United Kingdom

Today, I got sick of my flatmate stealing my food so I decided to sabotage a leftover pizza with laxatives. I came back home later in the evening after a night of heavy drinking. Guess what I had to eat in my drunken stupor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 259

You deserved it 36 944

Hangover time

By Anonymous - 16/12/2010 20:30 - United States

Today, I woke up to find that I'd left my clothes in my roommate's bedroom. After returning from a night of heavy drinking, I apparently got up to use the bathroom and used her room as a toilet. I don't remember this, but pee stains don't lie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 336

You deserved it 30 378

By Jade - 16/02/2011 05:55

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night because I was thirsty. In my groggy state, I grabbed the first bottle of liquid I could find, opened it, and took a sip. It was nail polish remover. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 343

You deserved it 42 615

By eggnoodles - 13/12/2009 05:44 - United States

Today, I woke up to find myself drenched in piss after a long night of drinking. I immediately sprang into action, tossing my bedding in the washer and hopping into the shower. Running late for work, I threw on a nice dress and got into my car. Guess who also peed in the drivers seat? FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 007

You deserved it 53 188

By anon - 20/06/2014 05:06 - United States - Kennett

Today, I woke up and put my contacts in. It appears that I got drunk enough last night that instead of soaking my contacts in contact solution, I used mouthwash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 345

You deserved it 24 742

By Anonymous - 31/05/2012 19:03 - Canada

Today, I drunkenly staggered home and crashed on the couch. When I woke up I realized it wasn't my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 629

You deserved it 34 439

thegr8dane 0

Wednesday 30 December 2009 23:27

listerine is just more alcohol going inside of you anyway. way to go, champ.

Stumblebum30 5

Wednesday 30 December 2009 23:33

Maybe time for AA?

Comments

Fop 6

Thursday 31 December 2009 1:03

YDI for trying to ******* steal things from strangers. You're a burglar. Go die in a fire.

stephanieeDawnx 0

Saturday 10 December 2011 7:01

What..?

wildchild101 0

Thursday 31 December 2009 1:03

wow dummy, you're not supposed to down it. you swish it. YDI

girlygirllol8 0

Thursday 31 December 2009 1:18

hahahaha #14 ...hilarious

girlygirllol8 0

Thursday 31 December 2009 1:22

wats AA and wats YDI?

ouchmom 0

Thursday 31 December 2009 1:25

I've had that impulse before, but managed not to swallow. sorry buddy.

daleftw 0

Thursday 31 December 2009 1:58

Smell like a liquor store? I dunno about where you live but here, they smell just like a regular store. I think the words you were after was "smell like a drunken hobo".

blastvortex 3

Thursday 31 December 2009 2:34

Don't binge unless you don't mind dealing with the consequences. For pretending that you had your faculties when you clearly didn't though, I'm afraid you either get to accept the no-sympathy vote or the Darwin award. That's what effervescent (Alka-Seltzer) is for.

xxreikoxx 31

Thursday 31 December 2009 2:39

(shrugs) Oh, well. That's what you get for being stupid, OP. No pity points from this member of the jury.

Ducati45 0

Thursday 31 December 2009 2:50

HAHAHA that's actually even stupider considering mouthwash has alcohol in it and you can blow over the limit after using it. I like this story a lot :)