Awkward, ACAB and Cops: Paul Fart Malt Clop

You should had a sign that said "FREE BREAST EXAMS - SHOW YOUR ****" Mall security are nothing but a bunch of police acadamy rejects that have to be dicks because they need to order Extenze.

EasillyAmused 0

Saturday 28 November 2009 21:59

omg what a bitch mall cop! he was just lealous that you were getting hugs....i would have told him no one loves him just out of spite LOL

Skull_300 0

Saturday 28 November 2009 22:01

This isn't your day... I printed your FML and then tore it up!

Keywords

My ex Love Awkward Friends AITA Jealousy Health Embarrassing Poopoo peepee Sports Proposal Snow Cold weather Annoying Cheating Relatable Money Work DIY Kids Parenting Accident Parents ADHD Medication Weather Miscellaneous Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird

The Top

Today, after about a year of keeping it a secret from my girlfriend, I told her about my foot fetish. She said "EWWWWWWWW!" and left. She's ignoring my calls and has changed her relationship status to single on Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 573

You deserved it 6 604

Today, my husband filed for divorce. He also put himself “In a relationship” with my daughter on Facebook. She turned 18 a few days ago. He says it’s no big deal because, “at least I waited until she was legal.” The spineless idiot just doesn’t get it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 087

You deserved it 160

The Top

Today, I found out my best friend was cheating on her boyfriend. After confronting her boyfriend and showing him proof, he responded with denial and didn't believe me. Now my whole circle of friends not only think I'm trying to start a rumor, but that I'm a home wrecker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 576

You deserved it 8 786

Today, I found out that I have a highly irrational fear of little people. I made this self discovery when my mother introduced the family to her new fiancé. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 553

You deserved it 5 287

Today, while waiting for my interview to start, I tried to slip out a silent fart. It ended with shit running down my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 612

You deserved it 1 358

Today, my boyfriend keeps trying to convince me that the hickey on his neck was from his friend attacking him with a vacuum cleaner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 495

You deserved it 431

Today, my five-year-old stepson announced that he is finally no longer scared of flushing toilets. Immediately after, I discovered that he's now decided that he's scared of the bathroom sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 015

You deserved it 3 358

Today, I was petting my female hamster when I felt a big mass under her. I immediately thought it was a tumor so I poked it to see if it hurt her. It didn't. Turns out my female hamster is actually a male, and he has really big balls. I touched my hamster's balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 160

You deserved it 1 927