Work, Creepy, Make up and Intimacy: Perv - FML

Perv

By Anonymous - 08/05/2009 14:53 - Canada

Spicy

Today, while working as a makeup artist in the mall, I was approached by a man who wanted to try lipstick, which isn't unusual we do a lot of drag. While I was applying it, he started to make gross noises and, after a quick glance, I realized he had a massive erection. He then whispered, "Mmmm don't stop now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 82 751

You deserved it 4 545

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Same thing different taste

By C BOMB - 14/09/2015 23:58 - Australia - Toowong

Today, I was getting coffee when I pulled my lip balm from my pocket and started playing with it in my hands, tapping it on my face and lip. There were there two gorgeous guys in front of me who kept turning around and staring at me. I was actually holding a tampon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 892

You deserved it 19 360

By theunluckylifeofme - 26/06/2013 20:33 - United States - Gilroy

Spicy

Today, while I was working the drive-thru, a couple came through. As I was handing back their change they began giggling. I looked down to see the man's sex-nose fully erect. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 770

You deserved it 5 111

By Anonymos_fmler - 21/10/2014 00:38 - United States - Franklin Park

Today, I was shopping when a woman stopped me and asked me what lipgloss I was wearing because my lips looked gorgeous. I had to explain to her it was just the grease from the Slim Jim I had just eaten. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 913

You deserved it 5 293

By Anonymous - 20/05/2009 18:34 - United States

Today, my friend and I decided to wear a new red lipstick. The guy I like turned around, looked at her and said, "Red is a really interesting, sexy color. Pretty bold. Not bad." and he smiled. I waited, smiling also, only for him frown and say, "Your teeth are REALLY yellow." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 074

You deserved it 17 587

By creepedouthostess - 17/06/2009 07:12 - United States

Spicy

Today, while working in a restaurant, I took an elderly man to his table under a red colored lamp. He asked me if this was "the red light district." I thought he was just kidding until when I was placing down the menus he leaned in and whispered creepily in my ear, "You know, you're really sexy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 470

You deserved it 3 126

By forever damaged - 21/12/2015 04:24 - United States - Wallkill

Today, while I was working at a gas station, a man came up to the register with his zipper undone and his penis hanging out in full view. I had to awkwardly hand him his change while trying not to look or make eye contact. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 707

You deserved it 1 652

By sammy18f - 24/02/2015 03:46 - United States - Brentwood

Spicy

Today, a man asked me for directions outside of a local store. After about five minutes into the conversation, I noticed he had whipped his penis out and was stroking it. He then asked me if I liked what I saw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 113

You deserved it 3 784

By Mayabie - 16/10/2011 21:08 - France

Today, at my job in a cosmetics department, I was helping a customer find something to her taste. She said, "I want a lipstick like yours. Something that says, 'I'm a bitch'." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 199

You deserved it 6 402

By Job Seeking - 22/01/2013 11:14 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I was cleaning at work when an elderly gentleman walked towards me, paused, and with a wink said, "That's what I like to see: a girl on her knees." This is the same workplace where another old man informed me that my yellow uniform made me look like a "suggestive cheesecake." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 145

You deserved it 3 005

Delusional

By why - 06/11/2020 23:01

Spicy

Today, I was at work. I had a male patient expose himself to me. He then apologized and said he thought that's what I wanted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 185

You deserved it 112

Next

Top comments

penguinz 0

Friday 8 May 2009 20:12

danggg sooo gross

maedoc 0

Friday 8 May 2009 21:11

well did you finish him off at least?

Comments

evanawesome123 11

Saturday 21 February 2015 15:36

Wtf

Keywords

Awkward Shopping Miscellaneous Stressed out Work Mental health Gross Health AITA Am I overreacting? Weddings Family Love Relatable Phone calls Embarrassing Pranks Shoes Kids Farts Cute Parents Birthday Argument Keys Neighbours Wanker Intimacy Students Coworkers

The Top

Today, at work at an OB office, I heard a ruckus in the hallway before a very large woman burst into my room and tried to attack my very pregnant patient. Crazy lady is the wife of the pregnant lady’s baby daddy, who is nowhere to be found. I don’t get paid enough for this shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 480

You deserved it 60

Today, I was in a store parking lot when I got a text from an unknown number saying, "I see you, I know what you did last summer, you wicked little shit." I freaked out and looked around in a panic. It turns out that it was my "hilarious" dad testing his new phone from across the parking lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 358

You deserved it 118

The Top

Today, I found out that the “stranger” I’ve been confessing my kinky, dark, and disgusting fantasies to online is a friend from high school, who figured out it was me by the third sentence. Now I'm praying she has a heart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 609

You deserved it 1 397

Today, while I was on the floor stocking a bottom shelf, a man walked up behind me and humped the back of my head. He ran away laughing. This kind of shit happens all the time. I hate my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 580

You deserved it 2 957

Today, I learned that the girl I love thinks I'm gay. To be honest, I'm having doubts too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 341

You deserved it 15 350

Today, I didn't make dinner fast enough so somebody had a yelling and screaming temper tantrum. It would be understandable if the person who threw the tantrum was a child, and not my 57-year-old father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 400

You deserved it 2 931

Today, my dad found out that I'm a member on a bodybuilding forum and decided to join it too. It's only been a few hours, but he's already told everyone that he's my dad, posted that I'm a "total pussy in real life", and questioned my sexuality. Thanks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 303

You deserved it 5 216

Today, I was feeling nauseous so I decided to take some Pepto Bismol. However, the fake cherry flavor immediately made me vomit all over the kitchen floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 761

You deserved it 130