Intimacy: Today, I texted a girl who I had hooked up with the night before...

By Anonymous - 08/05/2009 11:37 - United States

Today, I texted a girl who I had hooked up with the night before to see if she wanted to hang out again. She responded, "I think we should keep it the way it was, before last night." I just met her last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 811

You deserved it 13 781

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Same thing different taste

By Malarky - 23/06/2016 19:10 - United States

Today, I had a cute girl over and we cuddled on my bed. Later she texted me that she had decided that she didn't want to ever do that again because it turned her on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 246

You deserved it 1 240

Make the most of it

By Godmish - 02/01/2009 05:37 - France

Today, I received a text message from my girlfriend, saying, "Do you remember the last time we slept together?" I replied straight away, "Of course, it was great!" To which she replies, "I hope you made the most of it, because it was the last time." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 588

You deserved it 2 751

By badhabit - 31/05/2019 22:00

Today, I went out with my ex-girlfriend, with whom I have a good friendship with and am in fact still in love. I picked her up at her house and we had a perfect night together that ended with sex in my car. As I dropped her off, she turned to me and said, "I hope you know we're just friends." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 860

You deserved it 1 668

No. Just… No.

By none - 22/08/2013 04:27 - United States - San Antonio

Today, I had sex. The guy texted me an hour later, saying, "That was awkward. Let's not do that again." FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 391

You deserved it 8 831

Whoops

By Anonymous - 12/04/2016 02:38 - United States - Glen Ellyn

Today, an old friend of mine texted me, saying we should hang out. I thought it was really sweet and was excited to see her again, until she realized that she was texting the wrong person, and canceled our plans immediately. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 597

You deserved it 1 344

We need a break

By pst - 21/11/2010 01:06 - South Africa

Today, the hooker I have been seeing regularly for almost a year texted me to say she thinks we should no longer see each other again. I just got dumped by a hooker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 688

You deserved it 59 254

Saucy

By weeble_wobbles09 - 08/01/2010 05:09 - United States

Today, I was texting this guy that I hooked up with yesterday. We were gonna do it again but he had basketball practice. I was talking to my friend about it, and sent her a text saying "Oh well. I have explosive diarrhea anyways." She wasn't replying, so I checked my sent box. I sent it to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 459

You deserved it 25 927

By Anonymous - 15/10/2010 17:15 - Nepal

Today, I texted my ex boyfriend that I still loved him. He texted back asking if this was some sort of booty call. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 589

You deserved it 33 772

By Mr. Hopeless - 13/02/2009 21:59 - United States

Today, I texted this girl I really like and she didn't answer. She did about two hours later and it said, "Sorry, I was having sex at the time you texted me. So how are you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 965

You deserved it 4 235

By Noname - 30/12/2008 16:53 - Australia

Today, after seeing a girl for a few weeks on and off I sent her a text to see if she wanted to go out the next saturday. Predictive text changed "go" to "in". So..."Why don't we in out on saturday?" She stopped calling me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 007

You deserved it 4 920

Crash92 0

Friday 8 May 2009 16:09

Damn, I guess that means your pretty bad.

WildClown 0

Friday 8 May 2009 16:34

Next time be a man and call her. Texting is for the weak.

Comments

Crash92 0

Friday 8 May 2009 16:09

Damn, I guess that means your pretty bad.

RoryStorm239 0

Thursday 1 April 2010 0:42

well, they ARE from massachusetts...

CitizenSnipz 0

Wednesday 30 June 2010 8:11

Win. Pure win.

morthug 11

Friday 7 December 2012 20:54

***you're

Button_x 0

Friday 8 May 2009 16:09

Wow, what a bitch. =

rukusrazor 0

Friday 8 May 2009 16:10

Precise. And to the point. You got pwned.

juggyjones 0

Friday 8 May 2009 16:14

ha, you fail in the sack.

juggyjones 0

Friday 8 May 2009 16:13

ha, you fail in the sack.

asttro_boy 0

Friday 8 May 2009 16:22

Classic meme: "You're Doing It Wrong!"

Nemesis2747 4

Friday 8 May 2009 16:17

guess is was a one night fail

hamzy 0

Friday 8 May 2009 16:26

She ment she wants to stay drunk?

spamme 0

Friday 8 May 2009 16:29

no more cookies for you

z4opv14 0

Friday 8 May 2009 16:23

Sucks to be you.

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The Top

Today, I dressed up nicely to see the guy that I like and have been talking to for the last 3 months. Just when I thought he was finally going to ask me to be his girlfriend, he told me that he's actually had a girlfriend for 3 years now, but was too afraid to tell me because he really likes me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 793

You deserved it 148

Today, I came home from class to find a nasty note on my roommate's toaster oven. Apparently, cleaning it once a week isn't enough, and she wants it cleaned right after using it, which she never told me all school year. I'm banned from using it. FML

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You deserved it 330

The Top

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You deserved it 7 001

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I agree, your life sucks 976

You deserved it 114

Today, the girl I have a huge crush on only likes my Instagram posts if it's a post about food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 323

You deserved it 573

Today, I had to use a sick day from the school I teach at. While I was off, another teacher called me mid delirium, because my students were borderline rioting over the work I left for them. I'd asked them to read a book and edit the one-page essay they've had two weeks to work on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 365

You deserved it 1 722

Today, I was walking downtown when a bum approached me for some change. I planned to give a couple dollars but after pulling out my wallet exposing my cash, the bum beat me unconscious. The bum is a 5'0" tall woman; I'm a 6'2" male out $200. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 140

You deserved it 34 271

Today, my girlfriend woke me up by saying, "Good morning! We're going to be vegans from now on." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 430

You deserved it 214

Same thing different taste

Make the most of it

No. Just… No.

Whoops

We need a break

Saucy

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