Animals and Health: Polly Want a Wax

Polly Want a Wax

By Baldy - 07/09/2017 13:00

Today, I was using pre-waxed strips to wax my eyebrows when my parrot investigated by walking through them. He then screamed, flew into my hair, thrashed around, and got stuck. I now have two bald spots and two parrot bites. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 697

You deserved it 656

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Same thing different taste

By No Nip - 25/04/2019 12:00

Today, I was making breakfast with my parrot on my shoulder. He was excited about the food, and in his rush to climb down to the counter, bit through my nipple. I had to get stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 985

You deserved it 486

By margretlle - 26/04/2009 04:07 - United States

Today, I was walking in the kitchen with my parrot on my shoulder and my dog running around. Something freaked out my bird and she bit my ear and started flapping her wings in my face. Surprised, I took a step back, tripped over my dog, fell, hit my head on the stove, and got knocked unconscious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 742

You deserved it 8 415

By Eyebrowless - 06/06/2015 16:29 - United States - Willingboro

Today, I decided to wax my eyebrows. My entire eyebrow came off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 014

You deserved it 13 917

Eyepatch nightmare

By 1eyedpirate - 08/10/2023 00:02

Today, after years of my husband offering to trim my bangs, I finally let him. On the first snip he managed to cut the skin beneath my eyebrow. Ten minutes before that, our newborn shat all over me, even getting it in my hair. To make me feel better, since we have a parrot, my husband said that I could finally fulfill my dreams of being a pirate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 592

You deserved it 161

Flooftastic

By Anonymous - 26/05/2024 22:00 - Australia

Today, I tried to wax my own Brazilian. My housemate’s cat rolled onto a half-used wax strip on the floor. The poor cat now has a small, less-fluffy patch, and I still haven’t figured out how to wax myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 191

You deserved it 337

By I will find you and I will fucking fuck y - 05/01/2014 20:39 - United Kingdom - Falmouth

Today, I woke up from a short nap, only to find two waxing strips stuck to my eyebrows. I now have very little of my eyebrows remaining, and just as little idea which idiot in my family pulled this stupid excuse of a prank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 079

You deserved it 4 968

By Anonymous - 11/12/2009 21:58 - United Kingdom

Today, I was shaving my underarms, when I heard a noise. I quickly turned my head to see what it was and got the razor caught in my hair. I'm now sporting a very attractive bald patch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 860

You deserved it 8 410

By honey soy - 29/01/2012 06:31 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend was flying his toy helicopter at my head. It got stuck in my hair and I now have a bald patch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 950

You deserved it 3 510

By Anonymous - 10/10/2010 09:05 - United Kingdom

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to use my epilator on my eyebrows. Needless to say I now have the eyebrow equivalent of a comb-over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 922

You deserved it 27 200

Grooming tips

By love bitten - 14/07/2021 10:01 - Australia

Today, after two months of having a bird, she finally trusts me enough to perch on and even preen me. Unfortunately, it seems she thinks my freckles are lice and she's made it her mission to bite them off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 900

You deserved it 157

Lobby_Bee 17

Thursday 7 September 2017 14:12

That font gave me cancer.

bkwusa 15

Thursday 7 September 2017 15:01

Lesson learned, next time put your parrot in a different room or in a cage when waxing your eyebrows!! Hope the hair grows back soon.

Comments

Lobby_Bee 17

Thursday 7 September 2017 14:12

That font gave me cancer.

bkwusa 15

Thursday 7 September 2017 15:01

Lesson learned, next time put your parrot in a different room or in a cage when waxing your eyebrows!! Hope the hair grows back soon.

Sinshine 28

Thursday 7 September 2017 15:37

Don't ever do something like this with animals (or little children) around.

RichardPencil 30

Thursday 7 September 2017 15:48

Now you can become a scary looking pirate! Either for Halloween or on the high seas, your choice.

dexter420 21

Thursday 7 September 2017 15:50

Corny

mt21mt 15

Thursday 7 September 2017 15:54

Please take better care of your bird(s). Please put it/them in a safe place when you are doing something that is potentially dangerous or deadly for it/them. Please.

Jonathan Spaulding 5

Thursday 7 September 2017 21:46

I can barely read this

Lillysar91 20

Friday 8 September 2017 2:52

Why are you trying to wax with your parrot wandering around? Wax strips are sticky and messy and gets caught up in everything. Sorry for the bald patches though.