Precision flinging

By oh god why - 06/10/2019 00:01

Today, while I was changing my tampon, I somehow managed to fling period blood into my eye. I wish I was making this up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 757

You deserved it 248

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

My body hates me

By How? - 09/10/2022 22:30

Today, I'm on the last few days of my period. After nothing came out the whole day, a dollop of blood suddenly poured out, somehow managed to entirely circumvent the giant pad I was wearing, and went straight into my underwear, pants, and the chair I was sitting on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 476

You deserved it 158

Ouch

By Anonymous - 31/07/2020 02:03

Today, while brushing my teeth half asleep, I stabbed myself in the eye with my toothbrush, toothpaste included. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 111

You deserved it 567

Out of it

By Anonymous - 10/01/2022 05:01

Today, I'm sick with a fever, and on my cycle I was too tired and forgot to change my tampon, and ended up putting another one in. I woke up to go to the bathroom and ended up pulling two out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 978

You deserved it 365

By mindy12182 - 29/12/2018 17:00 - United States - Des Moines

Today, while doing my disabled client's makeup I got my period. I'm hoping that she didn't notice a red stain on her white bedspread when I stood up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 393

You deserved it 622

Splatter analysis

By Anonymous - 14/04/2024 08:00 - United States - Pataskala

Today, after I wore a pad last night, I woke up this morning, took off my underwear to use the bathroom, and a huge period glob flew hit the rug and splattered everywhere. The globs got on every piece if clothing I wore. I then had to clean what looked like a crime scene. FML

I agree, your life sucks 529

You deserved it 128

By stitchesupmyass - 01/11/2011 21:50 - United States

Today, I got my period. Last week, I fell out of a window and landed between my legs on a bush; I have massive swelling down there, and stitches over the ripped flesh. Now I'm bleeding out my period on top of the lingering wounds down there. It hurts even to pee, let alone menstruate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 761

You deserved it 4 684

Too stupid

By Anonymous - 15/02/2020 01:00

Today, I was picking my nose so aggressively that I flicked a booger right into my eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 480

You deserved it 2 285

By Strainer - 23/05/2015 04:38 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I strained so hard trying to take a crap that I broke a blood vessel in my eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 558

You deserved it 5 996

By Talented73 - 25/04/2017 20:00

Today, while brushing my teeth, I applied the toothpaste to my toothbrush when a few bristles got caught on the lip of the tube and flung a glob of toothpaste into my eye. My eye is now bloodshot, but at least it's minty fresh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 130

You deserved it 398

Blow it

By Anonymous - 22/10/2021 01:59

Today, I reached to pick out a booger stuck in my nose that had been irritating me, and ended up poking myself in the eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 332

You deserved it 725

Susan Yee 9

Sunday 6 October 2019 1:00

On positive side, at least it’s your own blood.

Charlie Given 26

Sunday 6 October 2019 4:11

🤣🤣😂 That takes talent

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 6 October 2019 0:24

I hope you are!

Susan Yee 9

Sunday 6 October 2019 1:00

On positive side, at least it’s your own blood.

EmDizzle2007 28

Sunday 6 October 2019 1:14

something you usually have to pay to see

bullsonyourface 20

Sunday 6 October 2019 2:37

I'm actually incredibly impressed

BurnInDemonFire 34

Sunday 6 October 2019 3:52

How hard did you pull?

Charlie Given 26

Sunday 6 October 2019 4:11

🤣🤣😂 That takes talent

Mara Malayin 4

Sunday 6 October 2019 11:15

This is probably the first “FML” ive laughed at in YEARS 😂😂

ThatOneLonelyAsian 31

Sunday 6 October 2019 11:55

thst last line gives it away

ojosRojos 28

Sunday 6 October 2019 19:51

Omg that would be traumatizing! Hope your eye is okay

Taurus_ChicKa 36

Tuesday 22 October 2019 5:22

Carrie White, is that you?

Keywords

Love Cheating Work Money Relatable My ex Jealousy Accident Health Medication ADHD Snow Weather Miscellaneous Awkward Embarrassing Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts

The Top

Today, I found out I'm going to be a grandfather. I'm 29, my son is 13 and the girl in question is 16. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 124

You deserved it 40 855

Today, my boyfriend and I were in the shower and things were getting heated. I tried to move position, but slipped and fell, bringing the shower curtain I'd grabbed onto down with me along its support rod. My ass hit the floor just as hard as the rod hit my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 538

You deserved it 10 056

The Top

Today, I had the lovely experience of witnessing a tow truck cause a couple thousand dollars' worth of damage to my broken-down car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 815

You deserved it 1 345

Today, as I was leaving for work, I discovered my neighbor had just passed away. I found out when I came across his body lying in my front yard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 451

You deserved it 2 164

Today, my mom confused me with my dad. She got in the shower with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 88 981

You deserved it 6 665

Today, I got up early because I had a bunch of work to do. It's now 11:50 p.m and I still haven't managed to get anything done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 332

You deserved it 609

Today, while at an important meeting at work, I got to watch helplessly as a police officer gave me a parking meter ticket. Added to that my boss chewed me out for "never paying attention and staring out the window during meetings". FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 494

You deserved it 11 333

Today, I found out my 8th period science teacher got fired. Our final is tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 237

You deserved it 338