Intimacy: Run faster

Run faster

By Noname - 15/03/2009 19:32 - United States

Today, I went for a jog in my neighborhood. While I was running I passed my girlfriend's parents who were out for a walk. Trying to make a good impression, I stopped to talk. When I got home I realized I was wearing a shirt that friends gave me as a joke. It said "Blow me, bitch. It's my b-day." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 170

You deserved it 79 272

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Same thing different taste

By helloitsbrian6969 - 24/05/2009 19:50 - United States

Today, I went to the store to buy groceries. I didn't care how I looked, so I wore an old shirt that said, "Thousands of my potential children died on your daughter's face last night." I ran into my girlfriend's parents at the store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 003

You deserved it 158 320

By Mazzam - 19/11/2008 11:33 - France

Today, it's my birthday. My girlfriend gave me the present she'd bought for me. I said, joking, "I hope it's not a tie!" It was a tie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 279

You deserved it 18 565

By Anonymous - 16/01/2013 05:52 - United States - Sacramento

Today, I was walking out of my girlfriend's house with her when I saw her thong drying on the rack. I picked it up, sniffed it and put it on my face as a joke. She replied with, "Those are my mother's." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 539

You deserved it 53 647

By Lolrus - 28/03/2009 16:50 - Qatar

Today, I was jogging through my neighborhood and then I notice this cute guy running beside me, we stoped and flirted for a while and my mom drove past. She then rolled down the window and said "Honey, you owe me for the dry cleaning on your period pants." FML

I agree, your life sucks 103 190

You deserved it 5 766

By Rizma - 27/11/2014 15:12 - France - Grâces

Today, I went off for a jog. Outside, I saw my really cute neighbour, so in an effort to appear fit, I accelerated and kept my head up. As I got close, I smiled at him, just as a huge fly flew right up my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 988

You deserved it 4 573

By jane smith - 01/07/2010 12:11 - Australia

Today, it was my boyfriend's birthday, and I thought I'd surprise him after work by wearing nothing but a smile on his bed. As I heard someone come in, I had a huge smile on my face. Turns out it was his dad and all his friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 591

You deserved it 18 053

By johnboy - 09/11/2010 17:08 - United States

Today, I went for a run. When I got home, no one was there so I took off my clothes and laid on the cool wood floor. I decided to call my girlfriend and we started talking in baby voices. That's when my mom walked into the house witnessing everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 835

You deserved it 37 146

By babysitter - 06/01/2011 05:57 - United States

Today, I was on a walk when I ran into the woman whose kids I babysit. We had a quick chat, and I noticed she had just blown her driveway clean. As I left, I said "You did a nice blow job!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 701

You deserved it 14 347

The show must go on

By gabess - 04/01/2009 01:59 - France

Today, to amuse my girlfriend, I put on her sexy nightshirt and went out on the balcony for a smoke, all while shaking my booty about in front of her window. She laughed, until one of her neighbors shouted, "HELLO!" from the upper floor, grinning at the show. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 956

You deserved it 10 616

Breaking news

By Anonymous - 23/11/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, I was feeling motivated to improve my unhealthy miserable life and went for a jog. Halfway through, I tripped on my own shoelace and scared a couple walking their dog. According to my wife, it's already been gossiped about in our neighborhood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 226

You deserved it 69

FlightNav 0

Monday 16 March 2009 2:19

Wearing that shirt in public is just *asking* for a FML to happen. That's a total "you deserve that one", dude. Nice.

amirn86 0

Monday 16 March 2009 2:18

Oh man... that's why I could never get myself to actually wear shirts like that, out of fear for situations like that happening to me

Comments

pitts_the_shit 0

Monday 16 March 2009 14:59

And yes, number 34. A joke shirt that a kid was JOGGING in, meaning he never wears it normally, dictates his persona. Please. Like you said, the fact that he stopped to talk should give you a good enough view of his persona, degrading attire be damned. :P

FXCKMYLIFE 0

Monday 16 March 2009 15:11

What I don't understand is, wether you met up with her parents or not, the whole rest of the neighborhood would have seen it, which is rude in and of itself

sarah8909 0

Monday 16 March 2009 15:15

I think it's funny! It's just a joke t-shirt slogan I'm sure they won't jdge you on it (although a worrying number of people on here seem to have)...plus, if they had a problem with it you would have known from how they were talking to you. And newsflash people, just because the t-shirt says it's his birthday, doesn't mean he only wears it on his birthday...geez

audiogasmic 0

Monday 16 March 2009 15:18

HHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA. That sucks. Pick a less...parentally-offensive shirt? next time. :P

Yuuhi 0

Monday 16 March 2009 15:22

Lol so many people here say 'don't wear t-shirts like that in public" i ask why? Maybe the parents actually have a sense of humour :) Don't worry man!! :)

Zic_fml 7

Monday 16 March 2009 15:40

That's a nice shirt. And her mother does it too.

cj_gurl 0

Monday 16 March 2009 18:39

Sorry to say this, but by wearing that shirt OUT IN PUBLIC and then running through a populated area, you set yourself up for it. Aren't you glad they didn't have young children with them that were going to ask them all about it later?

idoloveitbaby 0

Monday 16 March 2009 19:49

ha ha, if you would have noticed before you actually stopped to talk, you should have just ran up, said your birthdate outloud to the parents, and ran off. give em something to think about. they would then know what day their daughter is giving you a ********.