Kids: Sarcasm void

Sarcasm void

By Anonymous - 09/08/2014 17:32 - United States - Amherst

Today, my psychotic step-dad asked me if I'm doing drugs. I replied with a massive amount of sarcasm: "Yeah, all of 'em. Especially meth." He flipped out, searched my room top to bottom, then grounded me "for good" until I tell him where I hid the supposed drugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 365

You deserved it 13 919

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Same thing different taste

By tokinallday - 02/01/2015 19:23 - United States - Kingsport

Today, my mom and step-dad tore my room apart looking for the stash of drugs they thought I had. I've never touched drugs in my life, and I guess they believe me now. Didn't stop them from making me clean up the mess they made, though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 370

You deserved it 2 502

By WaltTheFuckDad - 01/09/2013 23:06 - United States - Salida

Today, my dad tore my room apart for the second time, looking for drug-making equipment. His reasoning is that I must be dealing drugs, because I'm a chemistry major who likes to watch Breaking Bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 386

You deserved it 3 609

By Anonymous - 18/10/2014 18:33 - United States

Today, my psycho mom walked in while I was chilling and having fun with some friends. She kicked them out and now wants to drug test me, because, "Nobody's that happy without drugs." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 958

You deserved it 3 068

By cazorp - 05/01/2012 11:43 - United States

Today, my mom told me she's a drug addict, sold my bed to buy meth, and then lectured me about how I should be okay with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 417

You deserved it 2 464

By FFS - 06/05/2018 01:30

Today, my mother has taken her drug paranoia to a new level. She threw away an open but nearly full bag of dried mint because she's sure I emptied and refilled the bag with marijuana to hide it from her. She then tried to ground me in my own house in front of my wife and daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 595

You deserved it 352

By Anonymous - 22/04/2015 13:39 - United States - Columbus

Today, my dad sat me down and angrily accused me of doing drugs, all because he's noticed I've recently become a lot more energetic and emotional than usual. The truth is, I'd been smoking weed daily for 3 years and just decided to never smoke it again 2 weeks ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 816

You deserved it 6 065

Miscommunication

By kay-z - 21/06/2014 20:32 - United States

Today, my dad heard that the guy who bullied me at school died recently of a drug overdose. For some reason, he thinks we were actually best friends, and thinks I'm doing drugs too. I'm now not allowed out of the house except to go to school. He won't listen to a word I say. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 965

You deserved it 4 013

By lehonX9 - 06/06/2015 09:11 - Germany - Hanover

Today, my mom found my weed stash and went berserk, grounding me and saying she's going to have my bedroom door removed. Less than an hour later, I found her laughing and smoking the same stash with my dad in the backyard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 816

You deserved it 9 725

By zephyrgk - 02/09/2013 01:15 - United States - Wilmington

Today, I was grounded by my dad for "popping pills like a gangbanger". I take prescription ADHD medicine and a multi-vitamin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 794

You deserved it 3 113

Sneaky dad

By say no to dick - 18/04/2014 22:56 - Australia - Newcastle

Today, I found out that my father faked his whole "mid-life crisis", just so he could gain my trust and get me to admit that I smoke weed, and to tell him who I buy it from. Hello year-long grounding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 746

You deserved it 43 597

Hunthas 17

Saturday 9 August 2014 22:52

If ever there was a time to whip up some Breaking Bad blue meth this is it :D Best of luck... Bitch!

mz135 12

Saturday 9 August 2014 22:53

Wow I'm sorry OP. My step dad is the same way. What works for me is just explaining to my mom what happened. She usually shuts him up

Comments

Dozer1988 14

Saturday 9 August 2014 23:55

Meth ain't no joke, stay off the dope. True story.

sorahearts_fml 10

Saturday 9 August 2014 23:55

What a idiot. I would just be like you're not my father so deal with it.

worldclassrager 39

Sunday 10 August 2014 0:13

Sarcasm isn't the best way to reply...in a serious matter

DARKDAY07 16

Sunday 10 August 2014 0:18

you know what they say sarcasm killed the cat....

OhFuck_WHYME 8

Sunday 10 August 2014 0:47

that be curiosity buddy.

cryssycakesx3 22

Sunday 10 August 2014 2:04

curiosity salted the snail...

AverageJoey 18

Sunday 10 August 2014 0:26

I don't even know how to help, just...idk FYL OP

HarleyQuinn1996 8

Sunday 10 August 2014 0:30

Tell him you hid them in the unicorn cave next to the rainbow waterfall.

TanzWolf 26

Sunday 10 August 2014 0:43

YDI if you knew he was psychotic.

Memma_fml 14

Sunday 10 August 2014 1:11

Ahhh stupid people stupid people everywhere

maddiebot18 3

Sunday 10 August 2014 3:41

7⃣

jwileh 3

Sunday 10 August 2014 4:23

kill him, kill him with fire

Keywords

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Today, I walked into the living room to find my 11-year-old daughter about to kiss her "not my boyfriend" on the lips. When I asked what she thought she was doing, she peeled a piece of scotch tape off her lips and said, "It's okay! We're using protection." FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 189

You deserved it 11 246

Today, my boyfriend started to suck on my boob, which I quite enjoy, until he said he was breastfeeding and called me "Mummy". I don't think I can ever let his mouth near my boobs ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 006

You deserved it 3 398

The Top

Today, I had whiplash after my dad and I were rear ended by a suburban. Despite the state trooper saying I should go, my dad delayed taking me to the ER because he wanted to pick up the dog from "doggy daycare" and take her for a nice long walk, while I waited for my mom to come home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 051

You deserved it 1 531

Today, I was at Universal Studios. Beetlejuice said to me, "Glad to see they're letting the Weasleys out of Harry Potter Land!" I'm a redhead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 794

You deserved it 337

Today, I was about to kiss my boyfriend in a courtyard when a soccer ball hit me in the head, hard. My boyfriend remarked that it made a "hollow sound" when it hit me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 612

You deserved it 193

Today, at a bar, I overheard two attractive men speaking in French. I went over and tried to introduce myself with what little French I know. They looked at me like I was crazy and then said in English, "What are you doing?" Turns out they weren't speaking French. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 165

You deserved it 10 264

Today, my roommate gets up at 3:30am for work and wakes me up each time. I try not to complain about it, but whenever I come back to the apartment at midnight, she gets mad that I woke her up. I told her that she wakes me up in the morning, but apparently that’s different because she’s going to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 483

You deserved it 133

Today, I accidentally cut myself with a razor blade on my toe. Not only does it sting really badly, but it reinforces the fact that I have abnormally hairy toes that need to be shaved. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 001

You deserved it 5 184

Sarcasm void

Same thing different taste

Miscommunication

Sneaky dad

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