Customers, Gross and Work: Say it, don't spray it

Say it, don't spray it

By grossedout - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was helping an old lady at my job. While I was in mid-sentence, she coughed wet phlegm directly into my mouth. It tasted vile and caused me to have a panic attack while working. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 394

You deserved it 3 125

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Same thing different taste

Grossed out

By Anonymous - 10/11/2018 14:00

Today, I was helping this girl to the nurse’s office because she was so sick that she could barely walk. About halfway there, she stopped and vomited on me. My jaw was dropped in shock when she threw up on me again. A little went into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 801

You deserved it 350

By burntloyalty - 26/03/2011 20:54 - United States

Today, I had such a violent coughing fit that my stomach emptied itself all over the floor while at my sales job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 212

You deserved it 3 225

By westwoodcosmo - 27/01/2016 22:35 - United States - Mesa

Today, I took a swig of my Dr Pepper while having a meeting with my manager. As soon as I was about to swallow, I began coughing, and spat a whole mouthful all over her face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 332

You deserved it 3 618

Coming and going

By Kristat - 01/04/2012 04:32 - United States

Today, because I was the only manager scheduled, I went into work despite feeling sick to my stomach. While sitting down with a customer, I got the urge to throw up and tried to hold it back. Instead I vomited in my mouth, instinctively swallowed and started choking in front of the customer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 796

You deserved it 3 392

buys case of Listerine

By Sick Guy - 24/03/2018 20:30 - United States - Boynton Beach

Today, I wasn't feeling well at work. While I was in the bathroom losing my lunch, a very large piece of food came up. The resulting splash of toilet water went straight up into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 953

You deserved it 365

By guy - 30/07/2012 03:24 - United States - Avon Lake

Today, I was taking a walk when I noticed an elderly man on the ground, unmoving. Being a registered nurse, I tried to give him CPR. As my lips touched his, he hacked a loogie and spat it into the back of my throat. I swallowed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 164

You deserved it 5 808

Self-own

By Anonymous - 20/01/2021 08:01

Today, out of nowhere, I started violently choking on my own saliva and shat myself in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 054

You deserved it 136

Nightmare Fuel

By anon - 01/06/2018 01:30

Today, at work, I had a coughing fit so bad I actually shat myself. What felt like a gallon of liquid crap poured down my trouser leg onto the floor. I work in a competitive office and this happened in front of 30 spiteful coworkers who love posting pics online. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 673

You deserved it 376

By wheezy - 03/12/2013 17:28 - United States - Bay Springs

Today, while giving speech in class, I choked on my own spit and had a coughing fit while everyone stared at me intently. When I finally regained my composure, my teacher told me my time was up and to sit down. I hadn't even got finished the first paragraph. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 927

You deserved it 4 221

By fuckthisandfuckthatandfuckyoutoo - 28/07/2013 16:23 - United States

Today, I was preparing a customer's meal in my restaurant's kitchen, when I choked on my own saliva and went into a coughing fit. The head chef, who's always hated my guts, accused me of trying to hock a loogie into the meal and fired me on the spot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 665

You deserved it 3 572

acneegg 7

Thursday 9 December 2010 9:08

Sounds like something from Drag Me To Hell

lafrenchie 4

Thursday 9 December 2010 9:09

You'm had a panic attack, huh?

Comments

naximus93 0

Thursday 9 December 2010 9:38

Don't worry, OP. It could have been worse. She could have spit her dentures out at you also.

Xythenol 6

Thursday 9 December 2010 9:53

Lmao, ew. FYL OP, go wash your mouth out

Describe 0

Thursday 9 December 2010 9:53

I like your style.

mintcar 9

Thursday 9 December 2010 9:57

Omgsh, thats incredibly disgusting. I can understand miniature droplets from coughing, but phlegm is pretty thick. How'd it end up in your mouth? Maybe I'm not reading the FML correctly. It's 4:00 am, time for bed.

Mr_Zachary 0

Thursday 9 December 2010 10:22

Should have given that old hag a flying kick in the meat curtains.

schwancy 2

Thursday 9 December 2010 10:23

Is it just me or do the most recent group of FMLs all seem to have grammar issues? Wake up mods!

Crimsonhead 0

Thursday 9 December 2010 10:30

Why do old people think they can get away with whatever they want? Oh, because people don't like to say anything to them about their lack of manners and respect. “Oh, she's old. She can't help it”. Bullshit. I hope you told her what a dirty c*nt she was.