Love: Scary

Scary

By Anonymous - 22/08/2012 20:08 - United States

Today, I realized how much I hate my girlfriend, when I got excited as the doctor told me I should refrain from having sex for the next two months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 801

You deserved it 31 441

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

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Same thing different taste

Take a ticket

By ugh - 24/05/2015 19:53 - United States - Dearborn

Today, I realized that my relationship has hit a new low when I made an appointment with my girlfriend to have sex. I have a two week wait. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 131

You deserved it 5 125

By Anonymous - 08/01/2013 05:20 - United States

Today, I got into an accident on my motorcycle. When I told my wife that the doctor said I couldn't have sex for two weeks, she couldn't contain her joy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 012

You deserved it 8 751

Childfree

By Anonymous - 17/08/2015 08:33 - United States

Today, after hearing the doctor saying my girlfriend can never be pregnant, I got a bit too excited. I'm currently on the 5th hour of the silent treatment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 703

You deserved it 42 895

By rawdoglyfe69 - 17/04/2013 06:14 - United States - Helena

Today, I learned two things. First, my girlfriend loves sex. Second, I'm practically the only one she hasn't had sex with in the 2 months we've been dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 507

You deserved it 6 080

Get it on

By Anon - 13/07/2023 00:02

Today, my girlfriend raged furiously at me for never initiating sex. The reason I haven't been initiating is because she was on a medically-ordered sex ban, and she "forgot to tell me" that her doctor had cleared her two weeks ago. She's still mad at me, and there's still no sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 051

You deserved it 173

By beaverless - 02/05/2011 20:26 - United States

Today, my girlfriend kindly broke the news to me that she doesn't want to take part in any sexual activity anymore because it's getting too boring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 558

You deserved it 17 599

Turntables

By Bill Mantie - 18/04/2021 02:00

Today, after months of successfully taking strides to boost my long diminished libido, I found out my girlfriend, who always had a healthy sex drive, has now lost hers. Oh, how the tables have turned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 122

You deserved it 149

Show and tell

By Boyufd - 22/04/2020 23:00

Today, it was the first time I was about to have sex with my girlfriend of 3 years, since I'm self-conscious about my size. When she saw it, she started laughing. She was mad I didn't want to continue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 179

You deserved it 312

By Jack - 30/11/2013 08:31 - United States - Reynoldsburg

Today, I realized my girlfriend has been "on her period" for almost two months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 476

You deserved it 12 089

By baron - 01/06/2009 17:36 - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 131 679

You deserved it 7 573

Hockeyboy4280 18

Wednesday 22 August 2012 23:43

First ever guy to get excited over those words...

deadxwedding84 5

Wednesday 22 August 2012 23:43

Ouch. Maybe you should dump her?

Comments

Urpoppy 21

Thursday 23 August 2012 1:09

It's time to break up buddy.

kittygirl21 5

Thursday 23 August 2012 1:18

That's jacked up. Stop leading her on if u don't like her. Ydi.

Marrach 7

Thursday 23 August 2012 1:33

Does she know? Is she rebellious? Snobby? If not, you should've broke up eons ago.Otherwise YDI, you're only gonna hurt her the longer you stay.

dog1999 2

Thursday 23 August 2012 1:35

Time to stop pretending everything is fine and let her know how you feel. Will be better for the both of you.

robo_thunder 13

Thursday 23 August 2012 1:44

More like f her life for thinking she is in a happy relationship when really shes with a dick who is leading her on.

DeadxManxWalking 27

Thursday 23 August 2012 1:53

Excited over no sex? WHAT ID THIS SOCERY?!?

jarockstar27 10

Thursday 23 August 2012 1:56

Aaaannnnddd why are you still with her?! Seriously do yourself a favor and break up with her....its better for both of you

laxonlaxonlax 5

Thursday 23 August 2012 2:04

Why are you still with her..?

perdix 29

Thursday 23 August 2012 2:14

Things are going to be great when you get married! When the doctor tells you to refrain from sex with the wife you hate, you'll **** in your pants!

AidenSurvival 7

Thursday 23 August 2012 2:17

Dump her if you hate her. I don't understand why couples do this shit. I'll never understand relationships.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, on my first day as a community support officer, a 7-foot meathead in the middle of a domestic argument told me to “piss off shorty”, and when I asked him not to swear at me, he picked me up one-handed and threw me in a builder's skip full of mud and wet cement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 560

You deserved it 351

Today, I was driving without my seatbelt on, when I noticed a police car approaching. I panicked and desperately fumbled around for my seatbelt, only for them to pass by with just a funny look. Then it hit me that I was riding my motorcycle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 551

You deserved it 49 635

The Top

Today, my new boyfriend is such a city boy he couldn’t handle one night of pretend camping in the garden. Apparently, it was too cold, he ran out of Diet Coke, and just generally got bored, so he went back inside to watch TV in bed, but sure, he wants to hike in the mountains with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 016

You deserved it 203

Today, my mom grabbed my phone, said she was taking it because I'd been disrespectful, and hung up my call. I'd been speaking with a work client. This is the gratitude I get for paying all her bills for the past 2 years, all because she's too lazy to get a job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 002

You deserved it 1 931

Today, my boyfriend stated that we should play a game where one person asks the other a question, and they answer it with a picture. I thought it sounded fun so I said yes. His first question was, "Do you shave your vagina?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 554

You deserved it 2 188

Today, I was napping with my boyfriend and his dog. The dog was making odd coughing noises, but my boyfriend refused to kick him out of the bed. A few moments later, I rolled onto my stomach, into a pile of dog vomit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 682

You deserved it 4 563

Today, I tried to jump through the closing train doors to make it in on time. I missed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 817

You deserved it 27 630

Today, I accompanied my dad to the airport for him to say goodbye forever to his childhood best friend. After their "dude goodbyes", right as they turned away, they started to whimper, did a sad squee-like sound, faced each other, then hugged and cried like kids. I have no idea if I should laugh, be sad, or get embarrassed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 115

You deserved it 666