Health and Miscellaneous: Silver linings

Silver linings

By HoobidibooFox - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Coseley

Today, I found out the one good thing about having fat rolls: when someone walks in on you sitting on the toilet, they hide your private parts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 844

You deserved it 6 534

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Same thing different taste

Chub rub

By Anonymous - 19/03/2021 13:59 - United States - Malvern

Today, I was pooping in a public toilet and a kid had walked in on me. I then heard him tell his dad, "It's okay, I didn't see anything, he was fat so his chubby legs hid it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 900

You deserved it 190

By ThunderThighs - 23/07/2014 23:24 - United States - Flemington

Today, I was so ashamed of my weight when I sat down and the suction of my thighs made a loud fart noise, I admitted to it being a fart rather than my fat rolls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 201

You deserved it 20 477

By tomchuq - 30/08/2009 07:12 - United States

Today, I realized I can hold a pencil in my fat rolls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 664

You deserved it 61 254

By fatflabbyfail - 20/02/2010 06:09 - United States

Today, after having my bath, I realised that I've gotten so fat that I have to lift up my butt cheeks in order to dry underneath them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 154

You deserved it 42 322

By xkellybabyyx - 25/11/2009 01:05 - United States

Today, I was walking through the streets with my best friend, feeling confident in my new skinny jeans. My friend said, "you really should be wearing a thong with those pants, your underwear line is showing". I was wearing a thong, those lines were just my fat rolls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 907

You deserved it 40 666

Sneaky

By Shamed - 06/09/2011 08:06 - United Kingdom

Today, I was on the toilet at work. After a very loud and very smelly session, I waited until the other stall had been vacated to keep my anonymity. As I leant forward for some toilet roll, my ID fell out of my pocket and into the next stall. When I came out, it was face up near the sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 615

You deserved it 4 964

By Christen - 19/02/2009 21:11 - United States

Today, I walked out of the bathroom when two guys were checking me out and said "nice tail" I smiled and strutted to my next class. When I was about to sit down in my desk, the girl behind me said "did you know you have toilet paper hanging out of your pants?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 390

You deserved it 36 708

By Fattypatty - 09/07/2009 06:21 - United States

Today, I realized how fat I really am. While going to the bathroom I leaned to the side to wipe my butt and heard a crack. Not knowing what it was, I continued to wipe. After I finished, I got up to see that I'd cracked the toilet seat in half. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 322

You deserved it 58 281

Autobodyshaming

By Anonymous - 06/05/2021 16:59

Today, I'm officially fat enough I have to lift my belly out of the way to get to my zipper when I need to pee in public toilets. I hate myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 765

You deserved it 549

By TowelSmellsNice - 16/04/2010 12:34 - Malaysia

Today, I wrapped a towel around my waist so I could take a dump while using my laptop. I sat on the toilet seat and let a big load go. Turns out I forgot to unwrap the towel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 554

You deserved it 70 623

AlaskanG 27

Friday 14 November 2014 9:03

Locks help with that as well.

Steven696 6

Friday 14 November 2014 9:06

The half glass full approach, I like it

Comments

j_cat187 19

Friday 14 November 2014 13:03

I'm going to throw out my sandwich

YaraSanne 12

Friday 14 November 2014 13:15

Gladly you are staying positive

mosquito19 14

Friday 14 November 2014 13:41

you can hide sandwich in your fat rolls too. warm sweaty sandwich.

taybear0 14

Friday 14 November 2014 14:34

i feel like private parts dont really show anyways when sitting on a toilet since theyre underneath you

empbob 20

Friday 14 November 2014 14:59

Unless you have enough fur to make a gorilla jealous... OP could be hiding that

Pmm368 5

Friday 14 November 2014 15:53

Wow, talk about shitty luck.

YouDontNomie 9

Friday 14 November 2014 17:03

They hide them not only when you're sitting on the toilet, lol.

yzzob 3

Friday 14 November 2014 18:57

anyone who has seen me naked, you're welcome!! :-)

KayyKaylyn 14

Friday 14 November 2014 23:47

thats an amazing way to see the brighter side of a situation! lol love it!

chosha_fml 26

Saturday 15 November 2014 2:21

Also good for buoyancy. And keeping warm in winter. :)

Parvati48 15

Saturday 15 November 2014 6:32

Yikes OP, sorry to hear that happened to you but at least you were covered where it counts. :/

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The Top

Today, I went with my girlfriend to her parents' house. They told me I smelled of cheap vodka. When I told them I worked in a bio lab and used ethanol a lot, they said I was too stupid to do anything like that. My girlfriend broke up with me because her parents think I'm a drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 913

You deserved it 3 416

Today, I have an HR meeting to discuss my team's performance. This is the same HR that refuses to hire more people because my department is full. The same HR that complains when tasks are completed late due to the team being overworked, yet refuses to take any suggestions. How do you give feedback to people like this? FML

I agree, your life sucks 480

You deserved it 84

The Top

Today, my 3-year-long dry spell was about to end. A lovely lady over for dinner, good food, wine and lots of laughs. Things heated up nicely in the bedroom when a playful wrestle made my bed shift, snapping two of its legs. The bed collapsed, totally ruining the mood. The dry spell continues. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 875

You deserved it 6 344

Today, I ate 30 chocolate pocket brownies, two caramel chocolates, two Budweisers. All of that while on my breaks at work. I'm a guy and I'm worried about getting diabetes while i'm actually craving more chocolate and sugar treats, my body is getting weaker, I'm getting dumber, fatter, and slower as we speak. FML

I agree, your life sucks 285

You deserved it 1 195

Today, my fiancée wrecked my car so I had to use my other car to pick her up. Ten minutes after I did, my other car broke down in the middle of the road and I had to get it towed. My insurance covers none of these incidents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 874

You deserved it 217

Today, my boyfriend asked me why I chose to date him. After going on for five minutes about how unique and funny he is, I ask him the same question. His reply? "You were the first person to ask me out." He then rolled over and fell asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 170

You deserved it 3 969

Today, I found out how it feels when someone slips and falls while they have a hypodermic needle in your arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 356

You deserved it 2 145

Today, I saw my 22-year-old boyfriend blow his nose into his hand, then wipe his snot on our couch. There was a box of tissues directly in front of him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 468

You deserved it 3 530