Sixteen again

By mystupidname - 03/09/2019 14:00 - Denmark

Today, my dad and his new fiancée are like two love-sick bunnies. They start having sex immediately whenever I leave the house. Even when I take out the trash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 077

You deserved it 174

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

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Same thing different taste

Randy Daddy

By franzbiel - 31/10/2009 12:54 - Switzerland

Today, my father decided that since he's paying for my flat, he will use it twice a week to have it off with his girlfriend while I'm away. My parents are still together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 032

You deserved it 2 562

Love and threats

By soontobedumped - 15/01/2012 19:26 - United States

Today, I introduced my boyfriend of two weeks to my parents. My dad asked me to leave the room so they could have some "guy talk". I eavesdropped, only to hear the words "sex-crazed fuck" and a threat to stick bamboo shoots under my boyfriend's fingernails if he ever hurt me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 886

You deserved it 4 880

By Oh God - 24/05/2018 06:00

Today, I met my new boyfriend’s family for the first time. Unfortunately for me, his dad walked in to ask what we wanted for dinner while we were having sex. Even worse was that my boyfriend kept going while his dad was there, and his dad later said he was glad I was “the woman”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 133

You deserved it 1 458

By meeranda - 01/01/2010 05:07 - France

Today, my dad came home from work early only to walk in on me and the boy I'm not supposed to be seeing having sex. Did I mention doggie style? FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 399

You deserved it 32 905

By Anonymous - 12/12/2017 19:00

Today, I returned home from my honeymoon and met my dad for coffee. He told me he's been seeing someone and he's so happy. It's my new mother-in-law. They moved in together during my wedding weekend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 654

You deserved it 356

Priorities

By MacBook - 14/05/2009 19:43 - United States

Today, my dad was in town for a day. We only had about 3 hours to do something so we left right away. Right as we were about to leave my dad's slutty girlfriend came by for a "surprise visit". My dad told me he would be right back. They had sex for 2 hours and 45 minutes. In total, we talked for 15 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 86 022

You deserved it 4 187

Pull up

By ohdeargodthatswrong - 09/01/2010 13:25 - United Kingdom

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when my dad pulled up to pick me up from his house. My dad beeped his horn and my boyfriend opened his bedroom curtain, knocked on the window, and waved. While he was still inside of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 478

You deserved it 6 198

By Anonymous - 28/05/2017 12:00

Today, the first thing my fiancé did when he walked in the door was to loudly announce all the hot kinky stuff he was about to do to me on the kitchen table. Unfortunately for him my dad, mother and both my brothers had just dropped in for a visit and heard every word he said. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 979

You deserved it 816

One law for thee, another for me

By thanks a lot asshole - 26/09/2020 17:02 - United States

Today, I went to visit my father. His new wife has hoarded out our childhood home nearly to the point of it being unliveable. That’s pretty funny, considering my dad used to literally beat us if our rooms weren’t clean or we left dishes in the sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 384

You deserved it 345

The long goodbye

By Anonymous - 22/12/2023 21:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend and I were fooling around when her dad burst in, proclaimed an, “Aha! I caught you you pervert!” moment and threw me out of the house. We’re in our 30s with kids, and jointly own that house. Having a father in law with Alzheimer's is great isn’t it? Just fecking great. FML

I agree, your life sucks 554

You deserved it 139

BurnInDemonFire 34

Tuesday 3 September 2019 14:26

"Jeez Dad, get a room..." "Get a room? I've got the whole ******* house, you little shit! Now go see a movie while I work on making you a new sibling."

childlessmother 16

Tuesday 3 September 2019 21:29

That’s awesome for your dad! Sucks for you but I’m glad he has found someone who gets him “excited”

Comments

CoriCat 25

Tuesday 3 September 2019 14:17

You should start playing weird cult music or pig noises when they do. Like if you’re gonna take out the trash, turn it on so it’ll kill the mood until you’re back in so you don’t have to witness that! At least they wait until you leave though. But they should be more mindful of when you’re going to come right back in so you don’t get an eyefull

BurnInDemonFire 34

Tuesday 3 September 2019 14:26

"Jeez Dad, get a room..." "Get a room? I've got the whole ******* house, you little shit! Now go see a movie while I work on making you a new sibling."

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 3 September 2019 16:49

Maybe you should withhold your rent payment to protest the nuisance. Wait, you're staying rent-free? Then, shut the **** up and buy some ******-canceling headphones.