Sex, Argument and Intimacy: So generous

So generous

By noway - 10/08/2011 17:47 - Singapore

Today, I got into a fight with my boyfriend. The only thing he could think of to cheer me up was to give me "permission" to give him a blowjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 164

You deserved it 7 104

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 14/03/2011 19:16 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 960

You deserved it 14 588

By Anonymous - 07/04/2015 21:00 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend repeatedly whispering in my ear, "You want to give me a blowjob". Yes, he actually thought it would work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 026

You deserved it 4 681

By omgwhyme - 08/01/2012 14:36 - United States

Today, my boyfriend asked me for a blow job. After I said "no" over ten times, he decided to get up and slap me across the face with his penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 423

You deserved it 49 348

By notthebesttime - 13/10/2012 12:04

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He decided that the best time would be while I was giving him a blowjob. He then seemed confused as to why I didn't finish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 808

You deserved it 3 732

By pleasedie - 07/05/2015 18:00 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Today, I took a shower with my boyfriend. I tried to be adventurous and went to give him a blowjob, only to end up slipping and head-butting him in the balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 035

You deserved it 6 802

Enticing

By Anonymous - 20/06/2014 21:19 - United Kingdom

Today, I was feeling frisky and asked my boyfriend if he wanted a blowjob. He said, "Fuck no", then rolled over to go to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 288

You deserved it 9 634

By TheIVkindaruinsthemood - 05/08/2015 18:58 - United States - Milford

Today, my boyfriend got upset that I wouldn't give him head. He was visiting me at the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 041

You deserved it 2 879

By kinkicali - 20/11/2012 08:43 - United States - Maple Valley

Today, trying to be kinky while giving my boyfriend a blow job, I whipped him with my ponytail. He was thrilled, until I accidentally head-butted his dick. He curled up into a ball and wouldn't let me touch him again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 498

You deserved it 36 511

Close but no BJ

By nikkrissa_04 - 07/08/2009 11:17 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around in his car. I then decided I was going to give him a blowjob for the first time. As I was going down, he grabbed my chin and said, "Don't do that, your mouth isn't clean enough." FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 675

You deserved it 12 201

By Anonymous - 16/03/2012 20:23 - Ireland

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 770

You deserved it 13 692

perdix 29

Thursday 11 August 2011 0:15

If he really wanted to make you happy, he'd give you permission to blow a guy with a real-sized dick.

oxemilyxo 5

Thursday 11 August 2011 0:03

That sucks. I'm sorry /:

Comments

bigbadtim 7

Thursday 11 August 2011 0:30

Doesn't it feel good to give?

bizarre_ftw 21

Thursday 11 August 2011 0:45

I read your profile. ........ I'm still here :D

CryMoreFMLs 14

Thursday 11 August 2011 4:06

I've read his profile 6 times. I enjoy the feeling of being disentigrated then re-integrated(?). It's tingly.

Freeze_fml 16

Thursday 11 August 2011 4:24

I read your profile. I think I died a little.

usc1anaya 0

Thursday 11 August 2011 0:31

SMH Wow

flockz 19

Thursday 11 August 2011 0:31

28- you make death sound so lively...

flyingfox408 0

Thursday 11 August 2011 0:33

did it cheer u up?

flockz 19

Thursday 11 August 2011 0:34

shit i meant lovely.

8sq 13

Thursday 11 August 2011 0:35

Was he a happy boy that night?

bizarre_ftw 21

Thursday 11 August 2011 0:42

Or suck so hard it hurts (like giving a hicky) then be like "oopse, guess I'm not good at this :/ thanks for the permission to try though! :D"

konto5 1

Thursday 11 August 2011 11:18

@ #44: Her disgusting vag would have to suffer for that.

iAintEvenMad 0

Thursday 11 August 2011 0:37

What an ass.

jaff23 11

Thursday 11 August 2011 0:40

Well he knows how to lighten the mood

bizarre_ftw 21

Thursday 11 August 2011 0:40

Bite him ^_^

mollyslips 13

Thursday 11 August 2011 0:55

hell yeah:P

Lazarevic_fml 7

Thursday 11 August 2011 4:20

#42 Ct seins que je v mordre

konto5 1

Thursday 11 August 2011 11:27

I bite #42 in her foul-smelling lady parts.

ben9694 0

Thursday 11 August 2011 0:41

Don't pass up that great opportunity

Keywords

Love AITA Awkward First Dates Dogs Animals Cute Alcohol Am I overreacting? Health Relatable Food Holidays Miscellaneous Family Thanksgiving Politics Transportation Cars Intimacy Sex Contraception Suspicious Cheating Poopoo peepee Kids Gross Accident Birthday Gifts

The Top

Today, mid-sex, my wife told me to call her a nasty slut. I was kind of uncomfortable doing it, but I did it to make her horny. She started crying, because she didn’t realise how much it would hurt her feelings. Now I’m not sure if she’s mad at me or herself, but I’m scared either way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 740

You deserved it 280

You’re probably wondering what this website is all about. Well, it’s basically a bunch of people who had enough humor to tell you all about their shitty lives, and what it was that made their day suck a big fat one. Some are sad in funny way, som...

I agree, your life sucks 14

You deserved it 13

The Top

Today, my son brought his new girlfriend home. I took him aside and hugged him, reassuring him that I loved and accepted him no matter his sexual preference. He looked at me confused and asked what I meant. His girl was obviously trans, but he had no idea. I didn’t know he didn’t know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 896

You deserved it 366

Today, I accidentally ate a cat treat instead of a cinnamon-glazed pecan. I thought it must have been burnt by the way it tasted, so ate a few more before I figured out my mistake and spat them out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 613

You deserved it 14 270

Today, I lost my job to the individual I just finished training. Within 2 hours after being escorted out, my old boss called and yelled at me for doing a lousy job. He was angry that the training was deficient and because the new person is as bad as I was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 681

You deserved it 1 427

Today, I was about to lose my virginity. I couldn't get it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 418

You deserved it 11 365

Today, I allowed my five-year old daughter to paint my fingernails during a living-room "picnic" we were having. A while later I got called back in to work for an emergency meeting. When I arrived at the meeting I noticed my fingernails were still neon-green. I am a 40-year old man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 617

You deserved it 16 715

Today, I accidentally washed an entire box of macaroni and cheese with a load of laundry. I'm 25 and do not have kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 043

You deserved it 2 681

So generous

Same thing different taste

Enticing

Close but no BJ

Top comments

Comments