Sex and Intimacy: So good it's bad

So good it's bad

By kingpin7 - 30/03/2011 04:43 - United States

Today, I went down on my girlfriend. In the midst of her orgasm, she grabbed my head with her legs, performing a submission most UFC fighters could be proud of, and she held on for so long that I almost suffocated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 477

You deserved it 10 312

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Same thing different taste

By sixsix - 24/12/2008 11:19 - France

Today, I made love to my girlfriend. I penetrated her for a while, then stopped to get my breath back... She carried on moaning even though I'd stopped moving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 183

You deserved it 8 664

By rebeccacaissie - 21/11/2010 18:16 - United States

Today, I was being a little playful with my boyfriend when we began wrestling. He then put me in a choking headlock and wouldn't let me out until I "tapped out". FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 634

You deserved it 8 914

By quickfingers100 - 22/07/2011 13:38 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend put a paper bag over my head while we had sex. Her reason? Because she thinks she is so good in bed she was worried I'd hyperventilate due to all the excitement. Instead I fainted due to lack of oxygen after three minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 928

You deserved it 10 731

By Anonymous - 24/08/2013 22:31 - Isle of Man - Douglas

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. As I started getting close to having my first ever orgasm, I got extremely short of breath and started hyperventilating. His reaction was to cover my mouth to shut me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 284

You deserved it 7 766

Girl boss

By dating walter white's gf apparently - 06/04/2013 19:13 - United Kingdom

Today, while going down on my girlfriend, I finally managed to give her an orgasm. During that orgasm, she tore out a clump of my hair, causing me to scream in pain. She scowled and said, "Ah shut it, ya little bitch." FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 131

You deserved it 13 423

By Anonymous - 24/12/2012 19:44 - United Kingdom - Addlestone

Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm. It was great until mid-gasm when she swung her arm out and knocked me out. She still can't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 839

You deserved it 6 349

By Anonymous - 01/06/2013 07:51 - United States - Portland

Today, I was making love to my fiancée, when she dug her nails into my back and told me to "choke" her like I did last night. I was at work last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 90 133

You deserved it 6 181

By Squashed - 15/08/2009 06:13 - United States

Today, my 250 pound boyfriend was on top of me while we were making out. I actually passed out in the middle of it from not being able to breathe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 122

You deserved it 22 861

Nice way to go, really

By motorboatofdoom - 30/03/2020 05:00

Today, I learned that my girlfriend is terrified of me seeing her sex faces, so she violently squished my face between her boobs during sex. I then had a severe asthma attack because I couldn't breathe properly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 199

You deserved it 303

By Abyssal - 04/04/2011 18:29 - United States

Today, I was making love to my wife from behind. As we both reached climax at the same time, she threw her head back in ecstasy just as I buckled forward with pleasure. We slammed our heads together, effectively ending our orgasms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 192

You deserved it 11 926

lhoavtee 3

Wednesday 30 March 2011 12:05

if you wee suffocated wouldn't it mean your dead

fluffyrocka 0

Wednesday 30 March 2011 12:02

breathe op, breathe

Comments

tazeegirl 5

Thursday 31 March 2011 6:02

Oh, no!!! Op, whatever you do- stay away from the light! Lol. =P

ThickHead 0

Thursday 31 March 2011 6:28

you loved it so shut up xD

Takashiro 0

Thursday 31 March 2011 6:31

Well Hell thats the way i wanna go out XD

Thedrugslikeme2 0

Thursday 31 March 2011 6:45

Imagine seeing this in the obituary. xD

vivalapimp 0

Thursday 31 March 2011 6:45

Triangle choke i guessing. pretty awesome

cn5692 0

Thursday 31 March 2011 7:03

So your dead now?

alfredo1177 0

Thursday 31 March 2011 7:15

Thats Fucken Down!!

FunwithBumperCar 0

Thursday 31 March 2011 8:05

R.I.P. the best way to die

domosumo 0

Thursday 31 March 2011 9:34

Jesus never tapped.

fat_bastard_607 0

Thursday 31 March 2011 12:30

and now it's YOUR turn, magic typing suffocated cunniligus master

Keywords

Miscellaneous Sleep Awkward Love Weddings Television Money Relatable Snow Transportation Annoying Family Kids Pregnancy Mental health Empathy Toxic Food Animals Cats Argument Gamers Health Valentine's Day Gross Homeowners Home improvement Babysitter Drugs Music

The Top

Today, my mom accused me of stealing money from her purse. Being totally innocent, I reminded her that the only other person with access to it is her boyfriend. She said she trusts him because she loves him. They've been dating for two months. I've been her daughter for 25 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 269

You deserved it 2 532

Today, my step-dad was talking about how he was raised in Las Vegas, telling stories about him and his buddies, until he stopped, looked right at my mom and said, "Find her, feed her, f*ck her, forget her. But I never forgot your mom, that's how I stole her from your dad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 464

You deserved it 4 174

The Top

Today, my hamster went missing. I walked down the stairs into my basement, to find my hamster's head on the stairs, and its body in my cat's mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 343

You deserved it 4 299

Today, I finally realized how stupid I am, when I answered a question correctly in class and my teacher started clapping and cheering. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 875

You deserved it 4 512

Today, my boss asked me if I could work on Valentine's Day because there was no chance of me having a date. She's right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 161

You deserved it 3 376

Today, I forgot to wear my shower shoes to my dorm shower. I didn’t think it was a huge deal until I walked in and stepped in something. On closer inspection, I realized that I stepped, barefoot, in someone's jizz. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 379

You deserved it 1 621

Today, my therapist told me that I need to do something different with my hair. Then I paid her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 492

You deserved it 5 589

Today, my mom thought it would be a good idea to see what websites I go on from my computer while I wasn't home. She clicked the link that gave my computer a virus that I just got rid of a few days ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 178

You deserved it 5 544

So good it's bad

Same thing different taste

Girl boss

Nice way to go, really

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