Intimacy: Sorry Noah - FML

Sorry Noah

By pummy - 30/09/2009 00:48 - United States

Spicy

Today, I got an iPhone, I was excited and because I have a new number, I wanted to mess with my girlfriend a little. I started sending her provocative messages, and after 4 or 5 of them, I discovered I had entered her number wrong and was talking dirty to a man named Noah. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 248

You deserved it 33 984

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Same thing different taste

By anonymous - 22/11/2009 20:23 - United States

Today, I got a text from a woman containing many naked pictures of her. Apparently she meant to send those to her boyfriend whose number is one digit from mine. The bad part? My girlfriend was using my phone when I received that message. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 668

You deserved it 2 990

By Anonymous - 24/08/2009 23:49 - Canada

Spicy

Today, I got a new cell phone. I was texting pictures from my old phone to my new one, including several dirty ones, when I noticed I wasn't receiving any of them on the new phone. I was texting the wrong number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 040

You deserved it 59 999

By smart phone mms - 07/12/2009 06:36 - United States

Today, I got a new smartphone and wanted to surprise my girlfriend with a naughty picture with it. A few minutes after sending it, I got a reply back from my girlfriend. And my best friend. And my sister. And everyone on my contacts list. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 989

You deserved it 47 634

By aasatt22 - 08/06/2009 06:05 - United States

Today, I bought my girlfriend an iPhone. I preloaded it with a bunch of cool apps and stuff and spent a lot and money. She used it to send a text to me 3 hours later saying that she thought we should break up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 882

You deserved it 8 695

Unknown number

By Whoisshe - 17/01/2020 01:00

Today, I gave my phone number to a guy at the movie theatre. I was excited to receive a text a few minutes later, sure enough when I unlocked my phone I had received a message from an unknown number. It was his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 003

You deserved it 425

Overbearing girlfriend

By Jake - 16/09/2013 19:08 - United States - Albany

Today, I woke up, thinking it was going to be a good day. However, when I looked at my phone, I saw that my girlfriend had sent me an obscene number of angry messages, which are still coming in, because I forgot to say goodnight to her last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 474

You deserved it 8 259

By Mark Allan - 25/03/2012 16:06 - United States - Alexandria

Today, I finally got the guts to text this cute girl at school. I started sending flirtatious texts, only to find out the hard way that she'd given me her boyfriend's number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 265

You deserved it 7 692

By Anonymous - 19/07/2015 04:36 - United States - San Francisco

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be hilarious to secretly swap her and my mom's numbers in my phone, then sexually tease me before going to work. I found out about the prank when I texted my "girlfriend", saying I was going to fuck her so hard she wouldn't walk straight for days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 256

You deserved it 5 021

By AnnoyedByFriends - 08/08/2013 04:43

Today, my friends thought it would be fun to change my dad's name on my phone to my girlfriend's name. Guess who got an erotic text message when standing next to me while in the line to buy groceries. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 738

You deserved it 9 703

A nickname that sticks

By Anonymous - 24/03/2009 16:18 - United States

Today, I was at my friend's house celebrating his 16th birthday. I couldn't find my phone so I asked my friend's girlfriend if I could borrow her phone to see if I could hear mine ringing. I dialed my number, only to find she had my number saved in her phone as "ASS FACE #3". FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 872

You deserved it 10 532

Next

Top comments

mrollg 0

Wednesday 30 September 2009 9:45

i totally thought this was going in a different direction!

amerrah 4

Monday 5 April 2010 5:39

Hmm I wonder if Noah invited him to ride his ark.

Comments

BloodyButUnbowed 30

Monday 12 November 2018 20:17

So ... you were hoping your girlfriend would respond positively to sex messages from an unknown number? Or were you hoping to frighten her?

Keywords

Love Party Awkward Lonely ADHD Transportation Cars Ironic Vacation Work Mental health Miscellaneous Grandparents Accident Covid Health Kids Annoying Shopping Cute Coworkers Dogs Animals Photography Art Videos Exhausted Sex Intimacy Money

The Top

Today, while trying to sleep after a night shift, workers came to hook up city sewage service, firing up drills and shouting. An hour later, my child woke me up to tattle on her sister. Just as I was drifting to sleep yet again, the smoke alarm battery started chirping. I give up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 350

You deserved it 227

Today, my 3-year-old pooped his pants in a public bathroom. As I was squatting down, doing my best to clean poop off of his legs and the floor, a wasp flew up my pant leg. I was stung four times before I danced it out of my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 060

You deserved it 1 845

The Top

Today, I have an autoimmune disease which causes my penis to look like a tie-dye t shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 364

You deserved it 2 767

Today, I took my girlfriend to get her nails done, gave her 500 spending money, took her to eat, bought her son a TV, then bought her clothes. We get to her house, she steps inside then gets furious her son had made a mess and hadn't cleaned his room. She told me to take the TV back, which I did, then got reamed for doing so. FML

I agree, your life sucks 662

You deserved it 282

Today, I found out my coworker was arrested for beating the crap out of his wife. I gave him a serious pep talk yesterday where I told him to stop taking her shit and start standing up for himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 998

You deserved it 5 153

Today, my dog was scooped up by an owl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 740

You deserved it 10 130

Today, I found out that I’ve been greeting a coworker by the wrong name for six weeks. The worst part? They never corrected me because they thought it was funny, especially because it turns out to be their mom's name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 320

You deserved it 104

Today, I found out my mom had been telling everyone how independent I was and just wanted to be left alone. I was homeless when I graduated valedictorian from high school and wondering why no one would let me stay with them, even when it was snowing. Now I know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 547

You deserved it 113